Originally Posted March 11, 2010
“I only need you.”
One sentence. Four words. Five syllables. …It was all I kept thinking today while praying in the chapel at school.
Praise God I go to a school that requires us scholarship-students to spend an hour a week in the chapel! I’ll admit, most days I spend a good portion of my time in the chapel catching up on reading for class. If that offends you, I’m sorry…I happen to think that Jesus likes it when I do my homework with Him though.
Anyway, today I was in the chapel stressing out about my impending final that was this afternoon. I had a pile of papers in my hand that I was reading and re-reading, just trying to commit any last bit of knowledge I could to memory. With that and several other things on my mind, I finally just got down on my knees and began to pray.
And for whatever reason, those four words (“I only need you”) just sort of became my prayer.
The thing about prayer is that it’s supposed to be a conversation, meaning it involves both talking and listening. So sometimes it can be difficult for me to distinguish my own voice from God’s. But today when I was praying those words, I realized that it wasn’t just me speaking to God; He was talking to me as well.
Of course I know need God (though with all the stresses and distractions of life, I sometimes forget that He’s ALL I need). But today was a good reminder for me that it goes both ways. When I pray, God only needs me.
Somewhere along the line I have forgotten this. I know God wants to use me to do His will, and I have a great desire to be doing His will in everything that I do. …But prayer is not a class, and life is not some divine homework assignment. The goal of my prayer should not be to “figure out what God wants me to do”, or to try and find some solution to a problem I’m having. If I’m just waiting for a solution or some sort of assignment, then the times I emerge from prayer without either of those will have felt like failed attempts.
The goal of my prayer should be to give myself to God completely, to just be with Him. If I am united to God in prayer, then my solutions and “assignments” will be clear to me when God wants them to be clear to me. He doesn’t need me to figure out answers; He only needs me. And that is pretty refreshing