Catholic and Gay

Posted on July 21, 2011 by Mary| 568 Comments

 

Fact: The Catholic Church’s stance on homosexuality is anything but popular.

It’s something we as Catholics shy away from talking about.  Maybe that’s because it makes others uncomfortable, or maybe because often we don’t truly understand it ourselves.  The fact is that I can sit here all day and tell you that my stance against same-sex marriage is not born out of hatred, bigotry, or ignorance, but the majority of people would probably not believe me. When it comes down to it, this issue isn’t going to be solved in political debates.  It’s far too personal.

So rather than getting into a lesson on Catholic moral teaching (though feel free to contact me if you want me to cover that later), or talking about homosexuality in the abstract (creating hypothetical people and hypothetical situations), I thought I’d refer you to an article written by someone who understands the Church’s teaching on homosexuality far better than I do, because as a Catholic who happens to be gay, he is choosing to live it.

[I have never met this man. I found the following post on the blog, Little Catholic Bubble.  Apparently, though, he recently went public with his own blog, as well.]

I have heard a lot about how mean the Church is, and how bigoted, because she opposes gay marriage. How badly she misunderstands gay people, and how hostile she is towards us. My gut reaction to such things is: Are you freaking kidding me? Are we even talking about the same church?

When I go to Confession, I sometimes mention the fact that I’m gay, to give the priest some context. (And to spare him some confusion: Did you say ‘locker room’? What were you doing in the women’s…oh.) I’ve always gotten one of two responses: either compassion, encouragement, and admiration, because the celibate life is difficult and profoundly counter-cultural; or nothing at all, not even a ripple, as if I had confessed eating too much on Thanksgiving.

Of the two responses, my ego prefers the first — who doesn’t like thinking of themselves as some kind of hero? — but the second might make more sense. Being gay doesn’t mean I’m special or extraordinary. It just means that my life is not always easy. (Surprise!) And as my friend J. said when I told him recently about my homosexuality, “I guess if it wasn’t that, it would have been something else.” Meaning that nobody lives without a burden of one kind or another. As Rabbi Abraham Heschel said: “The man who has not suffered, what can he possibly know, anyway?”

Where are all these bigoted Catholics I keep hearing about? When I told my family a year ago, not one of them responded with anything but love and understanding. Nobody acted like I had a disease. Nobody started treating me differently or looking at me funny. The same is true of every one of the Catholic friends that I’ve told. They love me for who I am.

Actually, the only time I get shock or disgust or disbelief, the only time I’ve noticed people treating me differently after I tell them, is when I tell someone who supports the gay lifestyle. Celibacy?? You must be some kind of freak.

Hooray for tolerance of different viewpoints. I’m grateful to gay activists for some things — making people people more aware of the prevalence of homosexuality, making homophobia less socially acceptable — but they also make it more difficult for me to be understood, to be accepted for who I am and what I believe. If I want open-mindedness, acceptance, and understanding, I look to Catholics.

Is it hard to be gay and Catholic? Yes, because like everybody, I sometimes want things that are not good for me. The Church doesn’t let me have those things, not because she’s mean, but because she’s a good mother. If my son or daughter wanted to eat sand I’d tell them: that’s not what eating is for; it won’t nourish you; it will hurt you. Maybe my daughter has some kind of condition that makes her like sand better than food, but I still wouldn’t let her eat it. Actually, if she was young or stubborn enough, I might not be able to reason with her — I might just have to make a rule against eating sand. Even if she thought I was mean.

So the Church doesn’t oppose gay marriage because it’s wrong; she opposes it because it’s impossible, just as impossible as living on sand. The Church believes, and I believe, in a universe that means something, and in a God who made the universe — made men and women, designed sex and marriage from the ground up. In that universe, gay marriage doesn’t make sense. It doesn’t fit with the rest of the picture, and we’re not about to throw out the rest of the picture.

If you don’t believe in these things, if you believe that men and women and sex and marriage are pretty much whatever we say they are, then okay: we don’t have much left to talk about. That’s not the world I live in.

So, yes, it’s hard to be gay and Catholic — it’s hard to be anything and Catholic — because I don’t always get to do what I want. Show me a religion where you always get to do what you want and I’ll show you a pretty shabby, lazy religion. Something not worth living or dying for, or even getting up in the morning for. That might be the kind of world John Lennon wanted, but John Lennon was kind of an idiot.

Would I trade in my Catholicism for a worldview where I get to marry a man? Would I trade in the Eucharist and the Mass and the rest of it? Being a Catholic means believing in a God who literally waits in the chapel for me, hoping I’ll stop by just for ten minutes so he can pour out love and healing on my heart. Which is worth more — all this, or getting to have sex with who I want? I wish everybody, straight or gay, had as beautiful a life as I have.

I know this isn’t a satisfactory answer. I don’t think any words could be. I try to make my life a satisfactory answer, to this question and to others: What are people for? What is love, and what does it look like? How do we get past our own selfishness so we can love God and our neighbors and ourselves?

It’s a work in progress.

(Me again) – I don’t know about you, but I am pretty blown away by that kind of courage.  …Thoughts?

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  • Erin Cook

    Mary, thank you so much for sharing this article. I have family members who are gay and that of course has led to some interesting conversations with friends when trying to explain how exactly my husband and I feel about it. Which is, if it wasn’t something someone is struggling with, it is something else. We all struggle, some are just more well known to others.  But we have a God who has given us rules not out of wanting us to hurt, but for us to be happy and more fulfilled.

    Erin =)

    • Tg

      How dare this person call John Lennon an idiot!

  • Danarobles

    wow…great article! I would love to share this with my confirmation class.  this is the generation that will struggle greatly with the issue of Catholic and gay.  thanks for sharing.

    • Mary

      feel free to share it with whoever you want to!

    • Mary

      feel free to share it with whoever you want to!

    • Mary

      feel free to share it with whoever you want to!

    • Mary

      feel free to share it with whoever you want to!

    • Mary

      feel free to share it with whoever you want to!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/06729516870952658426 Audrey

    Wonderful post! I really admire his courage! :) *Prayers*

  • anne

    how wonderful would it be if this heroic young man was canonized someday?

  • anne

    most homosexuals blame God for their “condition”, what does this guy have that makes him love God so much even in his “condition”

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_ACDVPBPKJDQIU6VUBCUMENZFNA Juli

      Faith

      • Richard Palafox

        It is not a “condition”, ma’am.

    • mel

      Eucharist

    • Alaniz Sarah

      Being homosexual is not a condition. Not even close. Thy is like me saying being straight is a condition. Homosexuals are born homosexuals just as straight people are born straight. It’s like the color of your eyes or the color of your skin. Those are not things you choose.

      • Sarah Alaniz

        *that

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_ACDVPBPKJDQIU6VUBCUMENZFNA Juli

    I love this article. It is so beautiful and inspiring, but like he said not only for gay Catholics, but for any Catholic struggling to live in a culture where they have to go against the flow.

  • Jacob Kelly

    Great Post! 

  • Formerlysanders

    Very convicting.  It’s easy for us straight people to look at homosexuals as some special kind of bad sinner when in reality our own sin issues are just as bad.  It doesn’t matter what the sin is you struggle with as long at you chose to follow what the Lord has shown us is right and good.  I admire this man’s mission for holiness.  It is important that we realize that he only has the strength to resist his fleshly desires because of Christ.  He finds his strength in the Lord and experiences grace in the sacraments.  We can all live like this!  Every single one of us!  Bless this man for sharing his story as a source of encouragement for all.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Wesley-Falcao/786607776 Wesley Falcao

    Wow. Just wow. 

  • LarissaNP

    He is an encouragement and I hope more people could read this

  • Tout

    I may have to learn something. I thought, homosexual is sex between 2 men or 2 women. Or does it mean instead about only ’having the desire, the inclination’ to have sex with same sex partner (not necessa-irely doing it) ? That desire can be strong but we must fight it, just like everyone must fight seduction. Is the temptation between 2 of the same sex stronger than the temptation between a man and a woman ? If it is only about the temptation (not the actual act) then we can not blame anyone, I guess. Then it seems that we should say an extra prayer for them, instead of blaming them. Most of us, maybe all of us, will at some time have a bad desire. Now, if someone is a homosexual, I will no longer see him as someone who deliberately does it.  

    • David

      Yes, I too thought it was a bit odd the way the author calls himself gay…  I would say, rather, that he struggles with same sex attraction.  To be gay, as I see it, is to live the homosexual lifestyle.  Besides that, even, why should a person identify themselves as “gay?”  Gay is not your identity, not any more than straight is my identity.  My identity is son of God, younger brother of Christ.  Apart from that, I thought this was a very good article, with some very good insight and truth.

    • guest

      Tout, your inclination is right: gay means *being attracted to* the same sex.  Whether or not one acts on this attraction is irrelevant to the term.  As to David’s comment, it seems self-evident that someone that “struggles with same-sex attraction” is in fact gay. 

      Tout said: “If it is only about the temptation (not the actual act) then we can not blame anyone, I guess. Then it seems that we should say an extra prayer for them, instead of blaming them.”

      Yes, we definitely need to pray for them.  The suggestion from the first sentence, though, that if it’s temptation then it must be ok, is not in line with church teaching.  Just as it is not ok for heteros to have sex outside of marriage, it is not ok for homos to have sex outside of marriage.

      • Guest

        I disagree with your statement that gay means being attracted to the same sex. Straight or gay is not black and white. In fact, sexuality in science is often regarded as being on a sliding scale. 

        • Hidden One

          “in science” is a rather misleading phrase.

          • Guest

            not really.  There have been a number of studies done on sexuality and sexuality is considered to be “fluid”, meaning a person can be straight now and find someone of the same sex attractive and want them later on in life. 

  • Chase

    I just came across this, and I love it.  I’ve been struggling with that issue myself, and was having a down moment.  I read this and I was absolutely inspired.  Thank you for sharing this.  Hearing this from his viewpoint is beyond helpful, and I’m sure inspiring to many more people than me.  

  • http://twitter.com/Pmccrsp Fr. Peter Calabrese

    Will he get airtime with Ellen?  Probably not but Pray for him as he bears witness to the Faith.  He can be a voice where many of us may not be heard easilty

    • Micah

      I disagree Fr. C–I believe Ellen would gladly hear another point of view, especially one as compelling and well articulated as this! That is not to say it would challenge her own life, but sharing that which others seek or identify with would fall very much within her scope I think.

      What a wonderful witness–the fact that this engendered so much response indicates the its significance.

      • http://twitter.com/Pmccrsp Fr. Peter Calabrese

        I hope you are right! I know she had Zach Waahls on her show!  Personally perhaps she would be open to it but I see very little from the media industry that would amke me htink they would give this person a fir shake.  Hope I am not tto cynical.  God bless.

  • Marie-Claire Boyle

    Mary, I appreciate this post as I’m quite confused over the Catholic stance on gay marriage and  homosexuality in general, and having been brought up Catholic and having many devout Catholic friends this has certainly helped in my understanding of how they see this issue, one which I often feel awkward discussing with them. I applaud his dedication to his faith and commend him for being so committed to something he clearly believes strongly in, even where it is difficult to do so. 

    I haven’t studied the Bible at great length but from my Catholic education I know that the Catholic church also preaches extensively about how important love is in our lives. This is where my understanding of the Catholic church’s stance on gay marriage is at a loss, surely we should all be able to experience this fully in our lives? I understand however, with the Catholic teachings on this matter that this couldn’t and shouldn’t be an argument that a devout follower of the Church would accept.

    However the reason I wholeheartedly back the Bill on Gay Marriage is for two other, less subjective, reasons. Firstly the scheme is one of an opt-in basis, where religions have the option of allowing for homosexuals to marry in their institutions, or, as I’m sure the Catholic church planning to do, not allowing them to (quite rightly, as this is their stance and their own choice to make, which I feel almost as strongly should be respected). Surely it is not for the Church of one religious denomination, to prevent religions of other faiths from making their own choice on the matter?

     Understanding others beliefs is also something I was taught during my Catholic upbringing. Secondly, therefore, I believe that such a scheme would allow homosexuals of particular religions not of your own, to marry, and be treated as equals in a society which has thankfully become to see them as such, and for me this is something I find necessary to help rid the world of disgusting homophobia. No one is asking Catholics to change their own stance on homophobic marriage, but to protest its acceptance in a secular society is surely only going to lead to further persecution of a group of people who, honestly, are doing nothing to hurt others. Its their choice, surely we should allow them to make it?

     I have struggled with, though not entirely let go of, my Catholism for sometime now due to their views on issues such as this, however I do believe their conservatism is a necessary force in other realms of society where the irresponsible behavior of some IS affecting others, however I honesty don’t see this to be the case here. I may seem critical (and that is intentional) but I genuinely am interested to know your thoughts? Thanks.

    • Tim

      Thanks for being so honest and respectful in crafting your post, Marie.  I appreciate the fact that you didn’t come in with guns blazing like so many do on sites such as these.

      I know that many people share your view point and this is a view that stems from compassion for those who struggle with homosexuality (those who are bigots and those who have this certain attraction).  The answer to your question also comes from a deep desire to act compassionately in the world.  Let me phrase it in this example: Let’s say you sit down to dinner at a nice restaurant with some friends.  You notice a few tables over that when someone’s date left to use the restroom they placed a pill in their drink.  We can assume that this is most likely a date rape drug.  What would you do in this situation?  The right thing to do, clearly, is to notify someone at the restaurant if not the police.  This is clearly going to create quite a scene in the restaurant and this man is going to look very bad.  Is his looking bad to others worth the harm that the woman would endure?  It surely is.  In the same way, we are called not only to believe in the truths of the Catholic Church but help others to see them and live by them as well.  If we sit on the sidelines and let others do wrong then we are complicit in that wrong doing.  

      My example may sound like it is harsh and does not correspond well to the situation we are really talking about.  However, in the same way that that date rape drug is going to harm that woman, acting on homosexual inclinations is going to harm the soul.  We are called to enact out faith not only in our private lives but in our public lives as well; doing what we can to force social change in positive ways.  In the meantime there will be individuals who continue to harbor hatred in their hearts for homosexuals because the world isn’t perfect.  We need more examples like the one offered in this article to show the humanity behind it.  

      The spirit of tolerance is an attractive idea but can sometimes be taken too far.  The world’s problems cannot be solved through a spirit of pluralism for that will surely lead to moral bankruptcy.  We need to stand up for what we know to be truth and help others to see it as well.  

      • Marie-Claire Boyle

        I’m confused by your ‘date-rape’ example. Are you suggesting that by being homosexual and being recognised as equal in marriage that the homosexual is ‘date-raping’ others souls? Or his own? As once again a ‘date-raping’ of his soul is surely a choice for him to make. My opinion is that a person’s sexual preference should not make him any lesser of a person in the eyes of some higher power, especially a God who is supposedly as loving as the one you worship. If you are suggesting it is of an offence to others, then I’m left completely at a loss as this can surely not be the case- a real and loving relationship can surely only be of benefit to others, and is certainly of benefit to the people involved.

        I also agree that the ‘spirit of tolerance’ can be taken too far, though not where homosexuality is concerned. Perhaps we should instead concentrate on losing our tolerance of persecution, of discrimination, of those who physically and mentally abuse another for their own choices in life? 

        I once again should add that I know and I understand if you are to follow the Catholic teachings that homosexuality is not something that will bring you to a higher divinity, and as Catholics it may pain you to see others ‘choosing’ to go along this path. But as Catholics you must also understand that persecution and inequality are not things which would sit well with the teachings of the Lord. Legally recongnised same sex marriage will come a long way to increasing acceptance of something which has in fact been scientifically proven to occur in nature, and should be respected for what it is, or risk further prejudices and homophobia occurring. 

        I wouldn’t accept a black man and woman legally only being allowed to marry under a civil partnership and believe it is just as important to be unaccepting of this for homosexuals- as in my eyes homosexuality is just as natural as the colour of one’s skin. 

        I absolutely respect that your beliefs may differ from this, but I hope that you can understand that I find difficulty with people protesting against a legal, secular, law which would  increase the equality afforded to a group of people who do nothing to offend others in society. 

        Perhaps look at it like this: what is the bigger priority here, ‘saving souls from being date-raped’ or preventing persecution, homophobic violence and mental abuse? Your religious beliefs are what they are and I honestly and wholly respect them, but objectively and secularly society needs greater equality afforded to homosexuals if their suffering is to come to an end.

        • Ralph

          the example of date rape is immaterial. Don’t confuse an example with an analogy. He could just as well given the same example, but instead of a date rape drug, you see a man take the tip money off of tables and pocketing it. You would certainly tell the manager, wouldn’t you?

          Rather, Tim is simply trying to illustrate that if we recognize some injustice or something harmful in the world, we have an obligation to speak out against it. We Catholics recognize homosexual actions to be harmful to the soul. Homosexual actions are going on in the world. We therefore have an obligation to speak out against it.

          • Guest

            Ralph I like the language you use here. The Catholic church is against the homosexual actions, however someone who is gay can still follow the teachings of the Church by practicing celibacy.  I like how the author mentions that this is simply the struggle he faces. We all have certain weaknesses that may go against Catholic teachings, but the point of these is so that we can trust in our faith even more and overcome those struggles by following God. 

          • guest

            But Ralph is still implying what Tim did, that homosexuality is something sinister, like date-raping or stealing.  I can assure you, as I’ve experienced this kind of love, that it’s pure.

          • Ralph

            guest, Exactly the point. But let’s not call homosexual actions “sinister”; let’s just call them “not perfective of the human person.” (Notice how Date Rape, stealing, and other things, although they might feel good, are not perfective of the human person and do not lead to his or her flourishing.) The Church does not see homosexual actions as perfective of the human person, whose love is meant to be fruitful. Thus she opposes it.

             If the Church saw that homosexual actions were good, true, and beautiful, then the Church would not have a problem with it. The Church opposes these actions precisely because she sees them as harmful and wrong. 
            guest, experiential knowledge is decent, but have you ever been wrong about an experience? In high school, surely you encountered a math problem which you thought you knew how to solve. Still, you got the wrong answer. You made a mistake. Likewise, you can have an experience but be wrong about it. I experienced a straw in a cup of water, therefore I know the straw is crooked. This is not valid reasoning. Mere experience is not sufficient grounds to claim knowledge. Take an American to a cricket match; he will experience something, but he won’t necessarily know what’s going on. 

            What we’re after here is identifying the natures of things. This is essential to Christian thinking. Provide reasons, perhaps based in experience, perhaps not, that identify the precise nature of homosexual actions. This will require you to show what makes them perfective of a person who seeks authentic flourishing. This will also require you to say something about the act of same-sex intercourse itself, apart from your own experience of it.

          • guest

            Did you honestly just say that date rape isn’t “sinister”? I don’t believe that two consenting members of the same sex, practicing their love with one another, is on the same moral ground as rape.

          • Csmith

            The reference to date rape was an example, not meantto be taken literally. Just as date rape is wrong, so is the homosexual act. One can feel that an act is pure and holy when in fact it is not. Feelings do not make an act right or wrong.

          • Ralph

            guest, you keep making the same errors. I never said that Date Rape was not sinister. You continue to confuse examples with analogies. You dismiss the content of the argument, looking to point out something out of context. (I also never said that Date Rape is not sinister, because it is, I simply wanted to use a consistent vocabulary since you didn’t like “sinister” for homosexual actions).

            I would say that they are on similar moral ground for sure though… All sexual acts, each and every one, are ordered to procreation and unitive love. One sinful action, rape, neglects the aspect of love. Homosexualactions neglect both: those actions are not, nor can they ever be procreative. Further, they are not of unitive love, for in lesbian actions there is no unity and in gay actions the ‘unity” is not a real union at all… rather like trying to run an internal combustion engine on kool-ade. It just doesn’t work. Unitive love and procreation are inextricably linked. 

        • enness

          I do not think there is a perfect analogy.  My own would be of a man who has delusions that he is a bird, and protests “What’s wrong with YOU?” as you try to keep him from jumping off a rooftop.  There is something seriously off about society’s perception of reality, specifically the reality of what a “marriage” is and is not/can and cannot be.  Wouldn’t you agree that for something to be authentic love, it must be grounded in the reality of the way God ordered things?  He created our bodies to work a certain way, for instance…
          To many a secular approach may appear harmless, but it hasn’t solved the reality problem.  Aside from the endangerment of souls, it has really insidious effects in society.  The first question is, if homosexuality is right and natural and *a* right to be officially championed in law and policy, what is to be taught to children?  Religious faith starts looking like a scourge to be eradicated.  It cannot leave well enough alone; it inevitably pits liberties against one another. 
          I pointed out in another post that there is some evidence of a genetic predisposition toward alcoholism.  How do you feel now?  Feel like buying the AA a round of whiskey?  …Remember the entire world bears the effects of fallenness, not just mankind.  Also, we fully understand that a person may experience homosexual temptations — we all experience temptation of one kind or another — but not necessarily be sinning.  To indulge them would be.  Is there a particular behavior, any conscious act of the will, associated with being of a certain race (besides stereotypes)?  Is there something I can tell them not to do?     

          I do not believe there is a “bigger priority.”  Those are both equal priorities.  I do not deny there exist real injustices against these people,   though the matter is extremely confused by conflating hurt feelings with actual persecution.

          This subject deserves more time than I have right now so I’m sorry for the brevity.  I cannot thank you enough for the respectful dialogue and intellectual honesty.  Many people just assume we hate and want to make others miserable. 

          • enness

            Let me add another extended analogy, which I’m sure will not be perfect either, but that I think mirrors what is happening and what I expect to see happen more in society:

            In parts of New England speeding is so accepted that if you are going the speed limit, YOU are considered the idiot who is holding everyone else up.  How whack is that?  You can be flying down I95 going 20 mph +, and you don’t stand out because so is everybody else.  A problem like this is so overwhelming that the cops can’t pull over *everybody* who does it, so I’ve gotten the impression that on many roads they’ve largely given up caring and there is hardly any enforcement at all. 

            Now, in the specific location where I live I have seen such behavior as blatantly running red lights, left on red, treating a stop light as a stop sign, passing on the right, passing on solid yellow, etc.  — which I think are even worse habits than speeding, and stuff I never saw where I lived before, to the point where I would not believe my eyes almost anywhere else – and while I can’t prove they are connected, I cannot help drawing the inference that people who saw no resistance in one area are testing the limits of other areas.  There’s a whole climate of disregard for the law.

            Now, here is a small chance for some to enjoy catching me in a bit of my own hypocrisy, which I freely admit.  I have been known to speed.  But I won’t do those other things.  Why not?  Is there really that huge a difference philosophically?  

            (In case it’s not clear, I see the Christian standing against the current protesting is that “idiot” in my analogy abiding by a reasonable speed limit!)

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1536660005 Joseph Antoniello

      Marie, as others have said, and possibly are thinking to themselves, I appreciate your honesty and openness in this discussion.  I do not hesitate to say that the responses below are inadequate in some ways, although excellently illustrating Catholic thought in other ways.  I will attempt to give a brief exposition of Catholic teaching on marriage, hopefully revealing Catholic thought on Same-Sex Unions as well.

      That Catholic Church teaches the ends of marriage as primarily procreation, and secondarily mutual fidelity and the quieting of concupiscence.  I will focus more especially on procreation, as it is the primary end (end meaning purpose, goal, etc.) of marriage, as such, but it will have hints of the other ends as well.  Procreation is defined theologically as “What man and woman do to become mother and father together.”   Although children are implicit in this statement, we must notice that neither the Church nor its theology say “Children are the end of marriage.”  The Church says that Children are a gift, a fruit of marriage.  Procreation simply means what it says to mean “What man and woman do to become mother and father together.”  Let’s unpack it a little.  The first is obvious: marriage requires a man and a woman.  The fruits of marriage, and the secondary ends (which are bound intimately in the primary) can only come from this natural process, that is the sexual act.  Sex, as being beyond pleasure, must necessarily be non-inhibiting to the greatest of the fruits, children.  Now, with this in mind, remember that they are doing what they do to “become mother and father together”.  They become mother and father together by nature of their essence: to be a mother and a father, you must be male and female, but beyond that, it must be an act willed for the sake to become mother and father.  Sterile and infertile couples still often will this, and as a result even their marriage is still living out its primary end.  If you wish to talk about NFP, that is another issue entirely, but one we can touch on.  This willing to become mother and father is one more thing, i.e. “together”.  The togetherness of marriage is tied up in the vows and the will to live out those vows.  They are total self-gift.  The sexual act manifests this act, as the climax of said act is the release of the generative forces by both the man and the woman for a purpose, i.e. procreation, as such.

      This mutual self-gift is the act of love, in that each and every act has a given purpose, an end toward which it is directed.  This is love, the “willing the good of the other” as St. Thomas says.  This love is manifest in the ability to fully give, the ability to fully live out the ends involved in the state.  You are correct in saying that the Church holds love in most high of esteem, but it would be incorrect to say that homosexual couples and heterosexual couples can, in the same way, love.  One has an end which is not directed toward the end of marriage, nor can it be, whereas the heterosexual couple, by its very nature is able to live out the end of marriage.

      I would love to continue, but it is almost midnight here in Austria.  Reply here, or e-mail me at your leisure.  My email is joseph.antoniello(at)gmail.com
      God bless you Marie.  You are in my prayers.

  • Esther Tomasello

    This is amazing and exactly what I needed to read this week. Thank you.

  • Lindsay

    Courageous yes. But just one viewpoint. The world is a chaotic place and Catholicism’s reliance on natural law is wishful thinking- it doesn’t hold water.

    Of course it is more comforting to live in a world where everything leads to a teleology that makes absolute sense but that’s not the world we live in (and it’s BY God’s design not in spite of it).

    I have chosen to be in a same sex relationship and God still waits for me in the chapel to heal me and in the Eucharist to transform me.

    And when I have gone to confession priests have been either understanding or totally condescending (“you haven’t found the right guy…”).

    I think it is important to recognize there are many, MANY homosexual persons in the Church and like our heterosexual counterparts choosing to be in relationships or choosing to be celibate. I don’t believe that my relationship is less sacramental than my friends who have married men and my experience is of profound blessedness, deep and sacrificial self-giving, and a total laying down of my life for the other.

    I think this is hard for our brethren to understand. Please let us both pray for each other.

    • Lacy

      I will pray for you that you are able to come back to full communion with the Church.

      • gwen

        I hope when you say you will pray for this young lady you are not praying for her to simply reject her ways, but you are praying for her to find God’s way. You may not agree with her lifestyle, but you do not really factor into the equation. In the end it is the conversation she has with God and I would expect she has had this conversation with God several times. We need to pray that she has the strength and courage to hear what God says, not what we think God would say to her. 

        • Babsieblue

          I’m pretty sure that “coming back to full communion with the Church” DOES mean that she’s praying for her to find God’s way. Also, people’s prayers are not really anyone else’s business. :)

        • enness

          Gwen, if the Bible is the inspired word of God then from the Old Testament to the New, He has spoken: this “lifestyle” is not compatible with His design.  Really, who am I to say otherwise?  We need to be sure we actually are having a conversation with God and not just talking to ourselves. 
          But as far as praying for strength and courage goes, I’m certainly on board with  that.

    • Guest

      I hope that you reconsider your participation in the Eucharist if it is true that you are currently in a same-sex relationship. If you truly recognize the love of God and the authority of the church then you will understand why those two things are incompatible…

      • Kali

        I think you’re being a bitch!

        • Maybesmithwasabadidea

          I think none of us should judge, and leave that up to God.

          Which, by the way, it so appears He has already done: Go read the bible. Or the Catechism.

          By the way, cursing makes you sound much less intelligent.

    • Starfighter2300

      Yes, He waits for you. He waits for you to stop wounding His Sacred Heart with sins against impurity. He waits for you to come to Him one day and finally understand that sex is so much more than a physical relationship in which two people achieve sensual gratification. He waits for you finally trust in Him, and in His Holy Church; to trust that He knows what He’s talking about, and the “rules” put in place are designed to lead you to your true eternal home in Heaven.

    • Abiien

      Dating is not a Sacrament, nor is it instituted by the church. Don’t know if you knew that.  Also, there are different types of love, 4 in the greek language. I suggest you look at C.S. lewis’s book “The Four Loves.”  Laying down your life for someone and becoming ‘one flesh’ with someone can be different. Affection and Unconditional -self giving- love are different.

    • Duhkneeyell

      This is a reply to the relpies to Lindsay. Being sexual is not recommended in a relationship. Like the person in this blog, he is celibate. Don’t assume people are expressing sexual acts with their partners. Heterosexual or Homosexual.

      • enness

        That’s fair if we have inferred too much, we do have to work with the context we are given though…

    • Devon Elizabeth

      Thank you for providing your story in response to this article. We do all need to pray for each other. You should never be ashamed for your lifestyle if it is who you are and you continue to thank God for your blessings. I am a straight youth and have lost homosexual friends in the Catholic faith who were driven away by hate and intolerance. These attitudes should not be allowed in a faith that is meant to teach love and respect. It scares me that the people around us who preach tolerance cannot accept others unless they fit into their narrow worldview. God made us who we are and each day should be a celebration of our individual self. There are many who need to reconsider if they should be accepting the Eucharist but those in same sex relationships are not amongst them.

      • Pizza

        Your wrong any one who is not living a catholic lifestyle should not be receiving the Eucharist, that definitely includes people involved in same sex sexual acts.

      • enness

        Your case rests on a big assumption: Is it “who they are”?  Do our actions define us as persons? Surely to some extent, but completely? 

        I am sorry for any and all real injustices your friends may have endured.  The Catechism itself states that we must remember the dignity of each person and have compassion.  But it also says that the actions can by no means be approved.

        I think we do plenty celebrating our individual selves already.  This can cross into narcissism.  We need to return our focus to God and celebrate Him.

        “There are many who need to reconsider if they should be accepting the Eucharist but those in same sex relationships are not amongst them.”
        Devon Elizabeth, this is where you are in really dangerous territory.  You have gone beyond saying merely that the individual is generally responsible for examining his own conscience, which is true, and actually set yourself above the (one, holy, catholic, apostolic) Church (founded by Christ Himself) as the arbiter of right and wrong.  I am not an expert but this kind of public statement may jeopardize your own communion and I really hope you will voluntarily recant it, as I have with some of the ignorant things I used to say “back in the day.”  And because I am not the most qualified on this subject, I am going to leave that for someone who is.

    • Guest

      I totally agree with you. You are doing absolutely nothing wrong by being in a same sex relationship. We can’t choose who we love, and love has no boundaries. 

      I really admire your bravery and I hope that more people start to accept that homosexual relationships and heterosexual relationships really aren’t that different at the heart of it all. 

      Maybe thats just me being naive, or biased because my best friends happen to be a lesbian female and a homosexual male but my view on that is never going to change. 

      Jesus loves everyone, no matter what their sexuality.

      Thanks so much for sharing, I pray that one day, everybody will have acceptance. 

      • Chris

        Except you know the possibility of begetting children and being the smallest structure of society.

      • guest

        The idea that we CANNOT choose who we love is ludicrous.  We are thinking creatures who make choices each day. We may not be able to control our attraction, but what we do with those feelings  is completely in our control.  If I am single and attracted to a married man, it is completely in my control whether to pursue it or not. Which is the point of the blog post…we ALWAYS have the choice on how we are going ACT out our feelings. For the above person, the choice is to put GOD before themselves and live in accordance to his divine words.  This can be said in just about any area of our lives.

        • enness

          As someone who has experienced that very same temptation, I agree wholeheartedly, love is a choice and not merely an uncontrollable feeling.  It is a choice to put that person’s true wellbeing — which will not be found apart from God’s will — above one’s desires.  We must ask ourselves, ‘Do my feelings reflect authentic love?  Do I want other people to attain Heaven or will I actually draw them away from the source of all life and love?’

      • Ccsmith

        Jesus does love everyone but that doesn’t mean he wants us to give in to desires of the flesh. Sin is sin, and Jesus doesn’t have to accept our sin. He desires that we live for Him and reject our sin. Jesus himself showed us by his self-sacrificing death on the cross that we are to sacrifice ourselves for Him. That may mean choosing to forego sexual relations with someone we love. I love my husband, but there are times when we have to choose not to have sex. We both love our children and our parents and the most loving thing we can do for them is not have sex. Not having sex with people one is not married to or with whom one can never be married is Love. Which is more important, your sexual relationship or your relationship with God?
        It is important also to note that God created us with free will: we are free to choose to live in relationship with God, or to reject relationship with God. God will respect our choice at the moment of our death, and the habits you have in life with carry over at your death. Make a habit of rejecting the life God will’s for you and you will reject life with Him forever. Our Purpose on earth is to know, love, and serve God.

      • Danny P

        Please define “love” as used in this comment.

    • Osen9342

      Dear Lindsay,

      I wholeheartedly respect your decisions to follow your conscience–our ability, and right, to follow our conscience is one of the most basic and unique aspects of our humanity.  Anyone who denies another human of this right is doing them a grave injustice. 

      In addition to this, I merely ask you to consider your Catholic faith.  This faith involves a commitment of time, sacrifice, and love.  Our mission is to be nothing but instruments of God’s love in this world, with His only son Jesus as our example. We recognize that we are nothing on our own, and ultimately, this world is not our home and we are not meant to find true happiness here.  Through professing and living out our Catholic faith, we proclaim that we believe, and trust, in what the Church teaches.  Being faithful to God, and to His Church, requires being obedient and humble. 

      In addition to this, the Church does not merely disagree with the idea of same-sex marriage and same-sex relationships, rather, She frowns upon all sorts of sins, from sex outside of marriage to missing Mass on Sundays, just to name a couple.  If you are in a state of grave sin as the Church sees it, you are encouraged to refrain from receiving the Eucharist until you have been absolved of your sin in the sacrament of Reconciliation.  This is because you are receiving Jesus Christ directly into your  being through the Eucharist, and it is not possible to receive Him completely if your heart is tainted with sin, like a dusty window that fails to let the sunlight shine through. While God will continue to forgive you, no matter how many times you commit the same sin, are you truly apologizing for your sins if you plan to continue to commit them, even before you enter the confessional?  The Priest who hands you the Body and Blood of Jesus Christ during Mass cannot see into your heart and know this, but surely God can. That’s between you and Him.

       As I say these things, I’m not speaking only to you, but as a sinner myself, I speak to my own heart as well. We all need reminding of this.

      If you are striving to live a chaste and holy life within your relationship, God will undoubtedly help you to see His plan in your life.

      We MUST pray for each other, each and every day.

      God Bless.

    • Ali

      I love you Lindsay

    • enness

      God waits to heal you, you say, but you deny that you need it.  The hospital wouldn’t be open if there were no sick.  Listen to what He and the Church (Father and Mother, so to speak) have to say about this.  Read the Catechism on it.  If our priests are in any way hesitant or even negligent, this is unfortunate and unhelpful, BUT it does not absolve us of our responsibilities as thinking persons to find the truth.

    • guest

      Lindsay, I really identified with your stance on homosexuality and Catholism… would it be possible to exchange email addresses? I would love to talk this over with you… I’m in a very simular situation, and it’s a bit isolating.  (my email: lilys_afire at hotmail dot com). Hope to talk to you!

    • Danny P

      Please, could you say what you mean when you say “it doesn’t hold water”? That there is no natural law? That it exits but that we are unable to meet its demands? 

    • mattingly

      I understand that there are alot of homesexuals in the Church but it IS against Church teaching. The Catechism of the Catholic Church says:

      2357
      Homosexuality refers to relations between men or between women who
      experience an exclusive or predominant sexual attraction toward persons
      of the same sex. It has taken a great variety of forms through the
      centuries and in different cultures. Its psychological genesis remains
      largely unexplained. Basing itself on Sacred Scripture, which presents
      homosexual acts as acts of grave depravity,141 tradition has always declared that “homosexual acts are intrinsically disordered.”142
      They are contrary to the natural law. They close the sexual act to the
      gift of life. They do not proceed from a genuine affective and sexual
      complementarity. Under
      no circumstances can they be approved.

      2358 The number of men and women who have
      deep-seated homosexual tendencies is not negligible. This inclination,
      which is objectively disordered, constitutes for most of them a trial.
      They must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every
      sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided. These
      persons are called to fulfill God’s will in their lives and, if they are
      Christians, to unite to the sacrifice of the Lord’s Cross the
      difficulties they may encounter from their condition.

      2359
      Homosexual persons are called to chastity. By the virtues of
      self-mastery that teach them inner freedom, at times by the support of
      disinterested friendship, by prayer and sacramental grace, they can and
      should gradually and resolutely approach Christian perfection.

      This is the exact wording of the Catholic Teaching on this topic.

  • Brittany

    LOVING someone nourishes the soul, regardless of gender. Sand perhaps could be a representation of sex outside of any loving, trusting relationship. But the argument is not for reckless sexual acts. We are asking for the ability to be accepted as two adults; joining as one family. That is not destructive.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=829218986 Joseph Amendolea

      The kind of love we speak of in this instance has been and always will be a life-giving love.  Yes there are other forms of love that are platonic in nature and can be very nourishing to the soul.  However, none of those forms are as powerful as the non-platonic love that unites man and woman and transmits new life to society.  That is what marriage is designed for, for the controlled transmission of new life to society from the life-giving love that only a man and a woman can share.  In so engaging in sinful sexual practices you reject this most powerful love.  You don’t want a family, you just want a license to continue a sexual practice that has no basis in the order of God or in the order of nature.

      • Mshipp115

        Life-giving love can mean more than physically bearing a child to the world. I know children raised by gay parents who most likely would not have a “life” if these men had not saved them from the hell they were living in. This is life-giving as well. And gay couples CAN and DO provide that.

        • bicatholic

          Agreed mshippp… so whatif youre wife has to have her uterus removed…. with absolutely no chance of “giving life?” Are you then to abstain from sex for the rest of your life bc you cannot multiply? The Church would never say that bc it ks absurd… same concept

          • Felix

             Actually… The Church does say that.

          • Dave

            where?

          • Hidden One

            No, it doesn’t.

          • Lauren

            No, it doesn’t. 

          • M^2

            It defiantly doesn’t! U probably should check your sources before trying to sleek on behalf of the church on such issues. God bless

          • Neil

            Does not the Church use examples from the Old and New Testaments where women (Sarah and Elizabeth) being completely barren gave birth against all odds to promote hope in God’s providence?

          • Colleen

            Yes you are right Sarah and Abraham were barren Abraham actually slept with the servant to have a child.  But, God said to Abraham no not the servant, and that Sarah would conceive a child!  And She had a Boy!

          • imjustmacy

            Do elaborate.

          • Colleen

            The church does not say that if you are infertile to not have sex.  Can you tell me where in the CCC it says this? 

          • Shann

            In the Catechism of the Catholic Church it refers directly to infertility, in section 1654 it states and I quote: “Spouses to whom God has not granted children can nevertheless have a conjugal life full of meaning, in both human and christian terms. Their marriage can radiate a fruitfulness of charity, of hospitality, and of sacrifice.”
            I think Felix is referring to another section that relates solely to contraception. When I first read it, I came to the same conclusion, which is why you have to read the entire thing in order to understand. This is in the section before the one I quoted so if anyone is wanting more questions look it up. The Catechism is the thoughts of the living church, and the knowledge it shares is worth the time it takes to read it!

          • friend

            In issues involving a woman’s health and not voluntarily performed to prohibit fertility it is perfectly acceptable to perform that action and continue with life as before. However, the voluntary act to limit the fertility of a man or a woman is prohibited. The three things that need to be present within sex are, marital commitment, consentuality, and openness to life(procreative). Within homosexual relations openness to life is not present nor is the tradition form of marriage. Looking at it from a Christian perspective, marriage is between a man and a woman. This was what was established by God. It is not a matter of ability to raise a child or to care for one another. Being Catholic there are many things that I cannot do, not because it is a dumb rule, but because it allows me to love those around me. Having sex outside of marriage is wrong not because sex is something bad, or that I do not love my partner, but that I have not devoted myself to my partner. Sex is a continual renewal of the wedding vows and by not being married I cannot renew those vows. There are many things that the Church professes and if given the time to look at them with an open mind we can come to understand why they profess this. Coming at something with an attitude that it is completely wrong will never allow any of us to come together in any kind of unity.

          • Awe

            ” Being Catholic there are many things that I cannot do, not because it
            is a dumb rule, but because it allows me to love those around me.”
            So, since I am an atheist and can do whatever i want because there are no rules, I don’t have the ability to love those around me? Does it really take restrictions on what you can do in life to make you love something? I don’t think so.

          • http://twitter.com/philoveit Maggie oshea

            yet there are rules. there are laws you abide by, personal values you have decided on and issues of morality we follow. It’s silly to think you have no rules in life just because you don’t recognize a God

          • Psmith11

            Well the church would instruct the couple to keep having sex and be open to a miracle of life. Sex is for procreation but life isn’t given everytime you have sex. Homosexual sex has NO possibility for procreation from the start. There is tge difference as instructed by the church. It’s the same with birth control, sex without wanting to have kids is morally wrong. This includes a married couple ( they CAN’T have sex unless they are fully open to have children) IT’S ALL ABOUT THE IMPORTANCE OF LIFE.

          • Joe

            Ok, I’m actually a practicing Catholic who accepts the teaching on homosexual unions. However, by that logic, Psmith, one could easily argue that a gay couple could just as easily continue to have sex hoping for a miraculous child as well (because having a child without a uterus would be almost as incredible as having one without a man and a woman).

            And no, the Church does not say (nor has the Church ever said) that a man and woman who are infertile should not have sex.  

            I’m wondering why no one has pointed out the obvious biological fact that our bodies were made to complement each other?  Man has sperm and woman has the egg.  Looking at it from a purely naturalistic standpoint, the unity of our bodies seem to be designed for a purpose.  Sex between two people of the same gender just does not make sense from a naturalistic standpoint.  It’s disordered; plain and simple.

          • colleen

            The thing is though that God did not make man to be with man so the miraculous  could not happen.  It is simple thought you are right man has sperm and we egg.  He obviously had a plan for that one. haha

          • Ben

            So, for the sake of argument, I accept your premise that God makes all of us. Then why are there homosexual couples in the first place? It’s been proven that they are biologically attracted to the same sex, so why would god make them that way only to prohibit them from acting upon their feelings?

          • Mxpxpunkrawkkid

            For the same reason he made alcoholics and drugaddicts.  To seek him when the thorn in our fleshtries to pull us away.

          • Lma_01

            God doesn’t make us sin or sinners. That’s the price we pay living in a fallen world where we get to choose whether to glorify God or ourselves. His solution is Christ! We’re forgiven and can daily surrender to our flesh to live in light of the grace He’s given us, that we may seek Him and serve him with our broken lives made perfect in Christ! Yay :)

          • Karenk871

            Homosexuality is not a disorder or a disease.

          • Minxcomix

            actually there is no proof to date that same sex attraction is biological.

          • Mercyisfalling

            science has not proven this, kyk.

          • guest

            To want something doesn’t mean we are entitled to have it. Thatsaid, there are people whofeel that way and theyshould be treated withloveand respect.

          • DgdJGJ

            Because it is in essence a birth defect.   The child is born with one female or male body and the brain is the oppisite.

          • Geekagirl

            You’re thinking of transgendered people, not homosexual people.

          • Champa224

            What about babies born with both sets of genitalia? Or no genitalia? Or babies born with both but one is more dominant? I really don’t think God makes defective people. Just different people.

          • Castro1goularte

            Being a homosexual couple is a choice. Goddid not create homosexual couples.

          • hannah

            It’s the same argument as saying…whyare there serial killers in the first place? like the manin the blogsaid…everyone is born withtheir burdens to handle. everyone is born withtheir cross to carry. as for sex./…….thequestion of the righteousness of sex is.. is it LOVE or LUST? and that has to do withemotion, or sexual desires. even married couples…they should not have sex just to have sex becauseit feelsgood…not at all. theywould just be using eachother for their ownsatisfaction, do you see that? “i’m horny so have sex withme.”that’s LUST. that’s the wrong intention

          • Champa224

            Sweetheart, there is nothing wrong with wanting to have sex with the person you have been bound with in the sanctity of marriage. That is the fun part about sex. God would not have made it enjoyable if it weren’t meant to be pleasurable. That is a very puritan and nonhuman way of looking at the beauty and GIFT of sex. After all, if you had sex when you didn’t want it, that would be rape.

          • Colleen

            We all have our struggles in life. Life is not.  I don;t really know the answer to your Question.  But I will find it out and come bavk and tell you. easy.

          • Colleen

            Wow How did that happen… I was saying we all have our struggles  and that I don’t know the answer to your Question but I will find the answer and get back to you!!

          • Paulakowitz11

            We all have our different crosses in Life, for homosexuals it’s being homosexual. Some people end up with cancer, and others are born with aids or HIV. We just have to learn how to live with it. 

          • CommonlySensical

            I understand where you’re coming from there, Joe. However, the leading scientific theory on homosexuality in the animal kingdom, is that it is a random mutation that possibly arises in order to curb overpopulation of a species. We can say it’s unnatural, a product of the complex emotional makeup of human beings, but since we argue that animals do not (generally) have such complex reasoning abilities, there is no other explanation (except that homosexuality is natural) for the many, many, many instances of homosexuality documented amongst other species. Here’s the wikipedia article on animal homosexuality, if you’re interested… black swans are especially cool. The guys pair off and then befriend a female, who they chase away once she’s laid her eggs (so they can raise the babies themselves). http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homosexual_behavior_in_animals#Genetic_and_physiological_basis_for_homosexual_animal_behavior

          • Unbelievable

            You are an idiot.

          • G Khan17

            How is this man an idiot?

          • Sgt Howell

            I wont call him an idiot, but I will say that his opinion is ridiculous. Biblical marriage is never said to have sex only for reproduction. God created sex to be within marriage. 

          • Superbroncgt

            “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill teh Earth” 
            God~

          • FerryPrince!!!

            Psmith11  just explained church teaching to you.  Congratulations on exemplifying “tolerance.”  Seriously, who is the true idiot here?  Errrm….you win that title.

          • Chrissas3osst

            Hello Fairy. Tolerance doesn’t mean “I get to do what I want”. True freedom is found in obedience to God and His commandments! DUH!!!

          • Jairus

            that is so illogical and absurd
             

          • Mmcfitz

            Actually there was a case of baby developing outside of the uterus and they did save the baby. The baby is in the amniotic sac to protect the child. The child did not have the added protection of the uterus but was able to survive by the grace of God and the mother being adamant that the child would have a chance (the medical people wanted to abort). And mom and baby survived…yay!

          • Hvsgbvics

            They still had a uterus

          • Tina

            yes that is true, but also if there is no uterus there is not eggs to produce the baby !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

          • Ned

            Hi Tina, I am a practicing Catholic and a PT student, and I have recently studied anatomy.  The uterus actually is not necessary for the production,growth, and maturation of oocytes (eggs).  Nor is is necessary for the fertilization of said egg cells.  The ovary is the site of growth and maturation of the eggs, and when the eggs are released they travel to the fallopian tubes, awaiting sperm cells for fertilization and thus conception.The embryo now travels to the uterus where it implants into the uterine wall to continue to develop. So conception and ovulation can occur without a uterus.  It would be extremely difficult for the embryo to continue to survive without a uterus, but our friend above says it has happened and I know God is not limited by science nor medicine.  Miracles have happened before  : )

          • Jasonblackfur

            And NOT having sex at all yeilds NO possibility for procreation, yet it’s the basis for a whole religion.

          • Tina

            I find interesting that that you say in your reply to bicatholic , I agree with him to the point  and it makes seance to me . You say that we have to be Open to a miracle of life , yes that is true we do, but we can’t in a case that bichatolic refers to , no uterus . You have to know that without uterus there is no chance at all that woman can get pregnant . After the birth of Jesus and how he was born, there where no i repeat no such miracles in the world . with out uterus there is nothing
            that can plant the baby there. I m sorry but me as a catholic and having friends gay who are in a committed relationship do not see nothing  less in them then any other human , We do forget that Jesus told us love one another as I have loved you, world love means not only love, it means support , understanding , sympathy , and so much more. Some people say yes we love them but I do not support them  and I have opinion about how they should live . I never read or feel that Jesus would have less loved gay people or judge them for being in a relationship and raising children ( that perhaps no one wanted ). They are creating love and support and sympathy by helping and caring with unconditional love to that child  as it came from them.
            We give ourselfs  a lot of freedom to juge othere , when we know that only perosn who is alowed to  juged is God….I m not a saint and I do juge others sometimes  and i know that with that I m comiting a sin , but I know and Jeusu knows how sorry I am and trying my best not to repeat this jugement upon otheres.
            So sometimes we need to go back to the ruts of Who God and Jesus are and what hase been givin to us from that time. Because we will be juged for our acctions and how we treated othere .

          • Biigsky

            Yes , you are a Saint, which is a redeemed believer in Christ

          • Eeyore_4_ever2006

            Actually we are not supposed to judge the person but we are supposed to judge the sin. If you do not judge the sin then you open pandora’s box to what is allowed. We are supposed to speak against sin. We instead often times speak against people for the sin they commit and not against the sin committed by the people. You can’t love gay people less. There is also a huge difference between the world “like” and “love” huge difference. YOu have to love everyone but you don’t have to like everyone. I also have a few gay friends but they know where my opinion rests in regards to their choice to be gay. It can at times get awkward but that is why I am Catholic. I am supposed to stand up for the teachings of the Catholic Church…not the million other religions out there.

          • Champa224

            Well man who wrote the blog, here is one of the Catholics who are bigots. This one thinks that you chose to be gay. Which is funny, because in your article, you talk about living with the fact that you are gay while still choosing to live the lifestyle of a Catholic. It is clearly not a choice if the author of that blog post is living with with the urges he can’t change.

          • Rusty

            Heterosexual couples are allowed by the Church to go to “Natural Family Planning” which allows the woman to know on which days out of the month she will be fertile. I understand that it is possible for the couple to have children, but they are certainly not “fully open to having children.”

          • Akh556

            In response to your post,
            the above concept is not the same, in regards that the Catholic Church teaches that even is a couple is not able to have children base upon infertility,  (or having their uterus removed for health reasons) that this is not an impediment to the marriage, however, not being able to consumate a marriage, due to impotence is an impediment to the marriage. So if one spouse cannot physically consumate the marriage (definitively). Indeed it is a sad sitation worthy of our sympathy, but each person has a cross to carry in order to save souls, such as this.

          • Jules-3

            If a man and a women can’t procreate it’s because something went wrong, a same sex couple can’t procreate because they weren’t designed to ,it’s like trying to use scissors as a writing utencil , scissors were made for cutting not writing 

          • Syslwateran

            God did not create. Free love …Homosexuality. is not a fear but a last way of saying I defy you and what you stand for…society. an up bringing can cause doubts of who you are and where you fit yourself into this role….God did not create these. Thoughts YOU did!!!

          • Champa224

            But someone in a previous comment said that homosexuality is a birth defect! Doesn’t that mean something went wrong?! Man you people should really learn about these things. Not being able to agree on what the Church’s teaching is makes are all look very foolish.

          • Chrissas3osst

            You may see my post above for the response to what mshipp wrote. But as for the example that you have given regarding the removal of your wife’s uterus…it is very weak and invalid. The Catholic Church doesn’t teach that if a woman has to have her uterus removed as a result of cancer or some other disease that the couple must abstain from sex. The Church teaches that all sexual encounters within the marriage be open to life. Meaning open to the having of and bearing children. If your wife has a hysterectomy, then as a married couple you can still have sex because you would still be open to children if you could have them. So your argument is not only rediculous, it shows that you don’t understand what sex is all about. Sure it’s pleasurable, but it is a source to life. Something that two people of the same sex can never achieve, no matter how much they try. You still have to have a man and a woman to conceive a child! Unless you’re Arnold Scwarzenegger…but then again that was Science-FICTION!!!

          • Champa224

            According to your argument, gay couples can have sex as long as they are open to having children. Some want that possibility so much that they instead adopt, or with lesbians, artificial insemination. So what you are saying is that sex is ok as long as you are open to having children even when it is biologically impossible. Your argument is weaker and more invalid.

          • Believe all the way

            At least “she” has the opportunity to conceive and give live. 

          • Minxcomix

            bicatholic, in re: to your point of a couple’s infertility due to the female partner’s lack of a uterus, compared to the infertility of a couple due to the couple of being the same sex. In the case of the woman not having a uterus, the infertility is due to a disorder of an individual body. The body is not working as it was designed. In the case of a same sex couple, their bodies are working *exactly* as designed, it is the nature of the *union* which is disordered. In the former case, the couple has not chosen a union which denies life (Sarah bore Issac, Elizabeth bore John), nor is the individual woman’s infertility willfully chosen. In the case of the latter the couple’s infertility *is* willfully chosen, their union working in the way designed or otherwise holds no hope to be lifegiving.
            That is the difference. We are speaking of the union here, and a same sex union is disordered and conflicts with the life-giving aspect of the nuptial embrace by it’s very nature.

          • ClareAnn

            Please see my post above :)

          • evangel

            Actually according to the Catholic Church in the case of the couple in which the wife has had her uterus removed they cannot have sex.  It’s based on the passage in which God tells the creatures of Earth (humans included) to be fruitful and multiply (Genesis 1:28).  If you want to find further proof you can see the Catechism paragraphs 1652, 2366, 2379

        • Damian802

          I think by ‘life-giving’ love he was referring to the ability to be co-creators with God as the Catholic church teaches. To quote the Catechism of The Catholic Church:

          “Children are the supreme gift of marriage and contribute greatly to the good of the parents themselves. God himself said: ‘It is not good that man should be alone,’ and ‘from the beginning [he] made them male and female’; wishing to associate them in a special way in his own creative work, God blessed man and woman with the words: ‘Be fruitful and multiply.’ Hence, true married love and the whole structure of family life which results from it, without diminishment of the other ends of marriage, are directed to disposing the spouses to cooperate valiantly with the love of the Creator and Savior, who through them will increase and enrich his family from day to day.”

          There is something very different than the “life” you are referring to and the creative capacity God calls within the true definition of marriage.

        • xavce

          while I appreciate that ‘couples’ do take children and care for them and perhaps give them a better life than what they would have, I don’t think it makes it right.  The couple is living in sin and now they’re rising a child in that environmen0t and when our sexuality is at the very core of who we are and of the family unit, I don’t think that’s good for the child.  They’re relationship is not justified or made right because they’re caring for children.

          • SRH

            Aren’t many heterosexual couples/people living in sin as well. Name one of us who hasn’t sinned? It is impossible to raise a child without influencing them to sin. Naturally, even without the influence, it would occur anyway. I think the possibility of a loveless, risk filled life would be far less appealing than living with a “sinful guardian/s”. Brandon makes a great point as well.

        • Chrissas3osst

          Apparently you didn’t understand the article. There is an impediment between two people of the same sex marrying. The impediment is that the man and the woman complete each other. Just like a puzzle. You don’t try to cut the puzzle piece to fit the hole you want it to fit into just because you’re too lazy to look for the correct spot. Jesus instituted the sacrament of marriage between a man and a woman. God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve! Try picking up a Catechism of the Catholic Church and reading the teaching on marriage. I’m sure that gay couples could raise a child just fine, but that is not the issue here. The issue is whether or not a marriage between persons of the same sex is or can be SACRAMENTAL, and the answer is NO. It can never be.

          • Alannat

            Or maybe you’re too close-minded to entertain the idea that the puzzle piece can be cut, or that the pieces that fit together for you are the only ones that ever do..

          • http://twitter.com/philoveit Maggie oshea

            It’s not being close minded, it just means that truly physically speaking men+men don’t intimately fit and neither do women+women

          • Champa224

            Jesus did not institute the sacrament of marriage. Marriage has been around longer than Jesus or Abraham. The great goddess in ancient Celtic religion bless marriages, as did the gods of ancient Egypt and Greece and Rome, and the oldest civilization in Mesopotamia. Don’t be so selfish.

      • SRH

        Maybe I’m confused, but why is non-platonic love the most powerful almost by far as you describe. The stronger form of love. Do we not love God, Christ, Mary, your priest or other religious leaders, parents, and children all platonically (not sexually)? And if you say this is the more powerful love, then what does this say for your love of others you love platonically. I don’t think that the world is running low on “controlled transmissions”. Even if most of society was made of “illegitimates” (I say in quotes because I myself don’t think of them this way, not that I’m putting words in your mouth.), we would still fill PLENTY of space on earth and probably still have overpopulation.
        I digress. Marriage, for people who share your views as Catholics, is definitely cohesive for what you may be saying, but not all Christians I know believe that if you’re having sex and not creating life you are having sinful sex. Which brings me to the fact that (US)laws and legal constitutions should not base their decisions on that of religious views. In a nation where freedom of religion is openly allowed, it just does not make sense to deny marriage to homosexuals on such beliefs. Marriage, to you or someone else, is as you’ve described, yes. But not all Americans share this view. Marriage has a great many legal and financial and other benefits, a fairly LARGE number. Denying marriage for gay couples is not going to cause the religious institution of marriage to be disrupted. It will simply allow for equal opportunity in terms of legal unions/marriages. And personally I can’t see the effect this will have on people individually or on an entire religion or on churches themselves. The relationship that person shares with their partner is between them and God. Neither of these people are probably you (not trying to sound snippy, just being factual). So such opposition and belife in control/judgement of another’s life choice just doesn’t make sense to bother yourself with. It’s one thing to be firm in your belief, it’s another to try to dictate another’s conscience or choice based on what they believe. I think this is even written against in the bible, obviously not in these exact words. It also doesn’t seem sensible to try to save these people from their choices to keep them from sinning against God or whatever form of sin is so designated to this topic because most likely, a forceful law against what they want to do is not going to make them change their mind on what they want, let alone make them feel welcome to the idea to make such an opposite-like spiritual flip to a different side. I just don’t see the angle in believing people should control other people. Or the angle in making judgmental calls and assumptions about what certain people want out of marriage, when truly in our society a large part of that aspect is legal for many people, religious or not. If you believe that that aspect of marriage is not important, then that’s your personal belief, just like it’s another’s to see it the opposite way. Only God Himself can judge what is right or wrong. Maybe we should leave it to him to judge us all at the end instead of trying to navigate another person’s path. This may seem like a rant, and I guess it is. But it’s not a totally angry rant it is part curiosity.

        • SRH

          Even if most of society was made of illegitimates and we discounted or could eliminate them, figuratively, we would still fill plenty of space and still mostly likely have a LARGE, large population. ** correction for above

          • Csmith

            SRH, you mentioned above about other Christian churches have broken away and splintered the teachings of the Catholic Church. The Catholic Church is the only one that stands against using birth control, because it places a barrier between a married man & woman and God. All other Christian denominations gave in to the temptation to have sex without consequences or moderation. This has led to a greater divorce rate, more extramarital affairs, premature sex, and the prevalence of abortion, just to name a few sinful outcomes. It’s just easier to use birth control than to say no to sex when we aren’t ready for children.
            The Catholic Church is the Pillar and defender of Truth revealed by God through Jesus Christ and Sacred Scripture.

          • SRH

            That is QUITE the slippery slope argument. You have presented zero definitive evidence that proves that divorce rates rise in correlation to unprotected sex. I do not negate your religious view; I negate your reasoning and logic here. I believe that it is perfectly acceptable to view sex and marriage this way, but regardless is not an issue in relation to LEGAL rights to marriage.

        • YB

          It is sinful to intentionally have sex in a way that discourages openness to the possibility of having children.

          Understand this very carefully.

          In other words, sex that does not produce life every single time, obviously, is not sinful because it’s naturally impossible. There are just a few moments in a cycle when partners are more fertile and able to conceive than other moments. BUT intentionally obstructing and tampering with sex so that the possibility of having a child decreases is sinful.

          All it boils down to is your heart and your intentions. God is life. He invites you to join in his work as creator of life. If you intentionally tamper with the tool he gives you to do this work, how is that supposed to make him feel?

          • Mrdeucedeuce

            do I sin every time I have a wet dream?

          • OtterMommy

            Are you intentionally having a wet dream?!

          • YB

            Your question has absolutely nothing to do with my post!

             But to answer your question anyway: If you were intentionally controlling your thoughts in order to fall asleep to a wet dream then yes that is a sin because you are not honoring your body or mind as a temple for the Holy Spirit who is pure and just. Neither are you honoring the dignity of who ever you were thinking about since they too are temples of God. We were not created to use one another for short pleasures that don’t fulfill you anyway so what’s the point in wasting your time on them. Why not search for eternal joy.

            But do you even care? Clearly you don’t or you wouldn’t have posted such an asinine reply.

          • allinthecards

            homosexuals don’t tamper with the tools they were given just by being homosexual- they were given different tools. (as in they have a diff. sexual orientation and therefore God has a diff. plan for them). they are not given the tools to be “creators of life” in the way heterosexuals are. God invites them to use what they have been given to promote life in a different sense (adoption, for example) …homosexual acts do not discourage openness to the possibility of children because there is no possibility of having children in these acts…my argument has not addressed the sinfulness of  homosexual acts, I am just pointing out that you cannot argue for the sinfulness of it thinking that it causes “the possibility of having a child (to) decrease,” when there is no possibility at all. If anything, your argument seems to say that homosexual acts are not sinful because, as you say, “sex that does not produce life every time, obviously, is not sinful because it is naturally impossible.” It is naturally impossible to produce a life in homosexual acts. What I feel you are really trying to say is that homosexual acts are sinful because they might be tampering with God’s plan for them to foster life in their own way, as I said before.

        • a philosopher

          The simple answer is morality.  Yes, I will go there.  The church, contrary to popular belief, is responsible for a significant amount of research on numerous topics during the Medieval ages ranging from science to ethics.  Even today, the Church is at the forefront of numerous research topics. The Church is thus not just some bible thumping organization that bases its decision off the Bible without rational thought.  The Church bases its recommendations on healthy and responsible actions based off of pure ethical thought.  Might a recommend Summa Theologica, by St. Thomas Aquinas.  There has been quite an extensive discourse of his writings and teachings, but a simple summary would suffice and actually undermine the “naturalization movement” for which much of the support of gay marriage is based.  Natural law, has its name implies, is derived from what occurs in nature.  Yes, gay sex occurs naturally in nature.  However, this does not benefit society (the benefit being the procreation of the species.)  Therefore, just as greed and gluttony are deemed wrong, most rational people would agreed that they are, so to is “fruitless sex.”  To try and accuse the Church of thrusting religion upon society when it is doing nothing more than pushing pure ethics devoid of the bible is ignorant of the basis for their teachings.  In fact, it reveals how you are guilty of labeling the argument as religious, equivalent to racial profiling a person.  To summarize, the Church’s teachings against homosexuality is an attempt to preserve the ethics of society. Obviously there is much more detail and understanding that needs to be had, but this requires a thorough understanding of ethics which the vast majority, including myself, lack.  Ultimately, the entire homosexual marriage debate reflects how our society determines its ethics and values.  The question is: how do we determine the ethics, not the legality, of homosexual marriage and should society not be allowed to impose laws to protect itself.  Ultimately, we would then have to delve into the point of ethics and law, how they were derived from basic human existence, and then we would have to have a extensional discussion about just basic values, derivatives of values, ethical reasoning, derivatives of rights, and law.  U can easily see how this discussion could easily fill a 50 word page document, yet most of the world wouldn’t even take the time to read it even though it is out there.  The Church is ethically correct, and I believe that morals are higher than rights.  Why?  Rights are actually derivatives of morals codified into law.   

          • SRH

            I understand that our constitution is based on morality. But MORALITY for each individual action is VERY debatable. You must understand I’m not saying that Catholics should change their views because this will not ever happen let alone be convinced by little old me sitting here typing this. My argument is that our laws should not be based on religious beliefs because our own constitution grants us religious freedoms in regards to belief. But even if, as you say, most people are thinking of this from a naturalistic view, which I haven’t heard as a major argument against gay marriage at the legal level (not the “Holy Matrimony” level) unless it is from people who have very strong religious views toward holiness related to marriage, the naturalistic view you state doesn’t fit in with many things that happen in society. Yes, having sex and preventing children would be a major natural travesty if we were facing extinction. But we are not polar bears, and we do not need to sustain and create a fuller population of humans. We have too many humans which results in many a different problems for our society. In fact, not only is overpopulation an underrated issue, but it proves that “fruitless sex” (which for some may be believed to be sinful, others not) NATURALLY doesn’t do harm in our current society/world but rather benefits the entire population. Some people whether widowed, single parents, those living in poverty, and even those without health insurance put many things at risk individually by having children, but society pays for these families and even still they struggle to keep their families healthy, well fed, and with warm, dry homes. I saying this from a logical standpoint, and I’m not attacking religion or religious people like you want to accuse me of. Nor am I profiling people to be making religious arguments. If they are making this naturalistic argument then they aren’t seeing the big picture that our society faces. And if everything were “ethically sound” in our society, then people who are gluttonous/greedy would have laws keeping them from being this way. Legally, sex has nothing to do with marriage. Just because people get married doesn’t mean they have sex. And just because they are not married (because laws prohibit them) doesn’t mean that they will abstain or follow the moral/ethical view of sex according to your watered down version of “your sex doesn’t benefit anyone” argument that is supposed to be legally convincing in preventing legal rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. (Not life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness so long as you aren’t gay). Rights are rights. Not moral decisions to be decided by an average joe. Not morals that are perfectly set in stone. Because morals are not set in stone. That is why the term moral dilemma exists. Yes, our laws and constitution has “moral” based roots. But these morals are obvious ones. Obviously it’s wrong to kill someone. No document or person had to tell me this. The majority of people have BASIC, built in morals and consciences. The more developed and complex a situation, the less we can rely on basic morals to say definitively what is right or wrong. This takes critical and complexity in problem solving and decision making. You say, “The Church is ethically correct, and I believe that morals are higher than rights.” The simple fact that you say the Church is right therefore laws should be based on the moral beliefs of the Church which, yes is ultimately what this says, is absolutely negating your accusation of me being guilty of assuming that the majority of arguments against gay marriage have a religious reasoning behind it because although you tried to muster up a case to support that gay marriage is damaging to our society, it did not succeed for reasons stated above. If I assumed that ALL arguments against gay marriage were religious that would be profiling. Every single argument I’ve heard against gay marriage HAS been from a religious standpoint, even yours. That doesn’t mean all of them are, but I would invite a logically SOUND reason that is not affiliated with a religious belief to be thoroughly explained. Your accusation of me being a “profiler” for people who oppose gay marriage is absurd. At some point you have to say, “Alright, my inductive and deductive reasoning are showing me that a great many arguments I am hearing and probably will hear will be from a religious standpoint. I’d also like to point out that your entire argument against gay marriage had to do almost entirely with the stance from the sexual perspective and not demonstrating why same sex couples should not share equal legal rights to those of married heterosexual couples.  I feel not only that many things I said got ignored, but that many of the points made in this one will be ignored as well.

          • Anonymous

            SRH, while I understand a lot of what you are saying, I don’t agree that all arguments against “gay marriage” are based on religious beliefs.  (fyi – raised a Catholic, not sure if I consider myself one these days or not) 

            My thought is that two people of the same gender should not be denied the right of a “civil union,” but to call it a marriage is to re-define the word itseld, and I believe that’s wrong, not to mention one of those slippery slope things.  If two men or two women, why not three people, or why not two of each?  Most Western societies recognize that marriage is a one man/one woman relationship, and fertile or not, it is based on the sexes being complementary.  

            To my mind, equating the legal union of two people of the same gender is showing a belief that men and women are interchangeable, and I don’t see how anyone can logically argue that. I”m not saying that we should go back to the 1950′s view of marriage, just that it makes no sense to pretend that women and men are all the same kind of human being.   This is true from chromosomes to genitals, so you can’t say, “we’re all the same.”

            On the other hand, while my age and generation admittedly makes me somewhat uncomfortable with the idea of same sex couples, I find it very hard to believe that two people who have committed their lives to one another  and lived monogamously for years should find one of them told at a hospital, “you can’t come in here; you aren’t family.”   I find it hard to believe that is what Jesus would want.

            I have also heard people say “gay sex is natural; there are animals who do it.”  Yes, well, there are animals who eat their young and females who kill males after they mate.  Are those things okay for humans, too?

            Note: way back up in this thread of posts, someone who was anti-gay marriage called someone else an idiot. Does that really help the discussion, and does it sound like the Christian thing to do?  Otherwise,  have been fairly impressed by the civility of this discussion, compared to many on the internet.  

          • SRH

            I feel like one could say “gay sex” or “heterosexual sex” happens in
            nature, so it must be natural. and that your argument against it could
            be used for both responses. Just because heterosexual sex occurs in
            nature does it mean parents killing their children as humans is okay
            too? I think assigning an identity or a negative connotation with gay
            sex allows you to form a seemingly convincing argument. Even if you
            assigned gay sex with an analogy of parents killing children and hetero
            sex with parents NOT killing their children. It still is kind of a large
            GAP. Killing someone affects many lives and also is taking the life of
            an individual. It’s also extremely violent whether in nature or in
            humans. I feel like the comparisons are extreme, but at the same time I
            am not one of the people saying gay sex happens in nature because
            honestly I feel like what other people do in the privacy of their own
            bedroom is none of my business, whether its gay or heterosexual sex.

        • Bigsky

          God is the author and Creator of marriage and He is also the Creator of government.  Government gets it’s authority and power from God.  Marriage is God’s idea and creation and was instituted in the context of a man and a woman.  Governments have taken the concept of Marriage from God and incorporated into their civil laws.  If governments want to change the tradition, God authored, meaning of marriage, government needs to come up with a different term, domestic partnership or whatever, and use that to refer to their rules and regulations and privileges and benefits they extend, and not refer to it as marriage.  That is God’s creation and we ought not to alter his creation.  Civil governments are free to define whatever relationships they want and offer whatever benefits they want, but they have no standing to alter God’s definition of marriage, which is very clear what God was referring to when he created man and woman and the joining of the two in Marriage. (see all the above cogent arguments to that affect).
           

          • Champa224

            None of this is true. All of these institutions are man-made.

      • Brandon

        Many gay couples have family.  It’s called adoption or surrogate parents.  And when marriage was first created, it was simply claiming women as the property of a man and had nothing to do with love as it does today.  Things change.

        • Richardarthur57

          Things change and man might water down God’s word but He never changes and His word is true form Genesis to Revelations. God does not accept homosexuality, has never and will never and no matter how much people might argue about it, God does not change His mind.

          • LoveandHappiness

            Richardarthur, if God created his people and yet “does not accept” some of them, then that’s a God i don’t believe in. God doesn’t just accept, God loves; he loves gay people, straight people, white people, black people, purple people, and, most importantly, loving people. To deny gay people the capacity to express their love is to deny the most important of Christ’s teachings: love itself. 

          • enness

            Richardarthur was speaking of not accepting homosexuality, not of rejecting the person so afflicted.  You will not make a crucial distinction between persons and actions?
            There is some evidence that alcoholism has a genetic predisposition.  I don’t think anyone will argue that God loves the alcoholic, but is probably deeply grieved to watch as he drinks himself into a stupor — even if, as we often rationalize, “he’s not harming anybody else.”

          • LoveandHappiness

            If God does not accept homosexuality, and yet is all powerful, why then would he permit its existence? For those saying scripture justifies an anti-gay standpoint, scripture is full of contradictions; slaveowners used it to justify slavery, and yet we almost universally understand that as morally reprehensible today. The most consistent theme of the Bible is love, and its expression (especially in its highest form: marriage) should be allowed by all. 

          • Friend

            Your question is basically the same as “If God does not accept sin, why does he permit it to exist?” or any other type of evil for that matter. God gave man free will in the beginning because He loved His creation and wanted man to love Him back as well, therefore free will was necessary. If man uses that free will against the will of God, then it is wrong and he will not be happy.  Scripture is not full of contradictions, the different meanings people give it are. Have you even read Genesis? God destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah among many things because they acted upon their homosexuality, and God made Eve especially for Adam. Let’s say God made Adam and Steve. The human race wouldn’t have had a chance. The highest form of love between men is brotherly love. 

          • :)

            even if god did give us free will, being gay is not part of that.  It’s not a choice.

          • Neil

            Well, there is a difference between Acceptance and Love. A parent will always Love his child. But if the child is doing something that is not good for him/her, the parent does not let it go and “accept it”.

          • friend

            They are free to love one another in ways that any none married couple can, through a mutual love that Christ himself gave all mankind. Love does not mean that sex is involved. That sexual love is meant only in marrieage which God constituted in Genesis. God loves all of us even though we are all sinners. Knowing this we do accept this but are not called live with it but to ask for forgiveness and seek God’s love so that we can love as God loves.

          • truthseeker

            I disagree, I believe the bible defiantly sas that God does NOT love those purple people

          • Sar

            He doesn’t accept MARRIAGE between same sex couple but he loves and accepts all His children

          • Dantelle88

            than what makes Him any different from a tyrant who wont change his mind?
            God is not like that. God created man and if you believe as i do that God made everything in this universe the way that it is, then He also made homosexuality. He accepts all He made. The god you speak of comes from your own personal hates, fears and misunderstanding of the gay community, not from the Bible. how dare you speak of Him as unaccepting, hateful and discriminate. it is Catholics like you Richardarthur57 that bring the Church a bad name in issues like this.

          • Joe

            Actually, Dantelle88, it is Catholic Church teaching that declares homosexual acts a sin and marriage invalid, so don’t go blaming Richardarthur57 for all that is wrong with the world :)  

            God allows us to carry crosses in this life.  We all love things that aren’t good for us–it doesn’t mean it’s God’s plan that we justify them because it makes us feel good.  It’s God’s plan that we run to Him with our crosses and allow Him to help us carry them.

          • friend

            God did not make homosexuality. God made man and woman in His image and likeness to share in His love. He gave Adam to Eve before the fall. After the fall the passions became disordered, the will became weak, and the intellect was hindered. This was the rise of all that is wrong in the world. God made us and even though we may not follow Him all the time He loves us. No matter what we do He loves us and calls us to follow Him. We must try to do so. The Church does not hate homosexuals, but calls them and all of us to follow the teachings of Christ. This means for those not within the bonds of marriage that we should live a chaste and celebate life.

          • Spencer

            God loves us too much to create something he does not accept. I may not be the best catholic in the world, but I truly believe that God loves us all for who we are. God may not change his mind, but he still loves us.

            Romans 5:12 “Therefore, just as through one man’s sin entered into the world, and death through sin, and so death spread to all men, because all sinned.”No one person is greater than another and as Catholics it is our job to accept and love all of our brothers and sisters for who they are.
             

          • Csmith

            Spencer, you are right in that we are all called to love our brothers and sisters, but who they are has nothing to do with the sexuality they practice. We don’t have to accept sin. If my daughter brought her boyfriend home and wanted to sleep in the same bed with him, the answer would be absolutely not. I love my daughter and her boyfriend, but if they practice fornication, I am obligated by my relationship with God to forbid my daughter to sleep with someone to whom she  is not married. In the same way, if my friend who is gay wanted to have a sleep over with his/her significant other in my home, they would not be welcome to do that in my home. Any kind of sexual relations outside of marriage is harmful to one’s soul, and in love we Catholics are called to stand for the truth in love.
            As a parent, I am called to correct my children when they do something wrong. God calls us to cooperate with hime, and help him correct our brothers & sisters who have fallen into sin. I have benefited from those who corrected me when I have fallen into sin. We are called to be saints: that doesn’t mean we are perfect, but that we are aware of our sin and work with God to root out sin.

          • Djgarcia77

            The let us get married :)

          • :)

            What about when he contradicts himself in his word in Genesis to Revelations?

          • Guest

            I just wanted to say that we are all called to live a life of celibacy. Well what does that mean? It means that we need to be pure, with the innocence of a child and that we are all called to freely choose to be chaste. Jesus said this in the Bible: “For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made
            that way by men; and others have renounced marriage because of the
            kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.” (Matthew 19:12)”

            You could say “If God wanted us to be chaste why’d he create sex?”  God created sex for us too “be fruitful and multiply” but that doesn’t mean we should do things that are bad for us. And when I say do bad things, I mean act upon all our sexual desires and impulses. The Sacrament of marriage was instituted to put a type of organization to our love; for us to have agape, eros, and filia, and to create a human being. This is so that the child can grow with love in its midst and learn what real sacrificial love is.

            I understand that if you are homosexual and not Catholic, you may not understand. Marriage is for the purpose of creating children, but that doesn’t mean that if you are infertile you can’t marry because it is still scientifically possible, just not as likely. Furthermore, Catholics should not be fearful or hate anyone who is gay because gay is not who you are, and maybe gay is not what you choose if you think it’s biological, but you can choose to act upon it. You can choose to become involved in homosexual acts, but just as I can choose to have sex, or engage in sexual acts, that doesn’t mean you should. No, I don’t think those who are gay should marry, but that’s just because I feel as though that would not make you happy because you aren’t looking at the bigger picture. Marriage isn’t just to have someone to talk, it isn’t just to have sex, it’s to have someone there who would die for you if they were given the opportunity; mmarriage is for a man and wife to exemplify the Holy Trinity by living out their nuptual meaning and being a  communion of persons. The woman was designed to receive love, and the man designed to give it.

            And anyways, this is what I believe. I swear to you it’s the truth and that I don’t want to force my beliefs on you, but I want you to understand me, my religion, and my personal values. I can honestly say that this is from the Bible:
            ” So God

            created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him;

            male and female He created them. And God blessed them, and God

            said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth and

            subdue it; (Genesis 1:26-28)”
            I can also say that I have friends who are homosexual and it doesn’t skew my view of them. They are Catholic also and don’t act on their impulses. I promise you they could not be happier; of course they struggle, but like all of us they just want to live and love (you don’t have to have sex to love).

          • Butterfly

            “God does not change His mind.”

            Actually, He changes his mind several times in the Bible when it comes to humans and human relationships. The most classic example:
            ” וַיהוָה נִחָם כִּי-הִמְלִיךְ אֶת-שָׁאוּל עַל-יִשְׂרָאֵל”  

            The bits about not changing His mind are reference to the natural laws of His creation, which is much more obvious in the original Hebrew when the concept is  first mentioned. The verb used in those instances shares a root with ‘shana’ (as in Rosh HaShana, aka  the Jewish New Year) and seems to imply an association to seasons/nature. The full meaning/implication does not translate over well into Greek, which is probably the source of confusion in this issue. 

          • Kevin

            My argument on this is not that I believe God “will change His mind.” I personally feel that homosexuality was never wrong in the first place. Now don’t go quoting the Bible at me – I’ve read the whole thing. I have the passages on homosexuality memorized. The ones in Genesis, Leviticus, St. Paul’s Letters, the whole nine yards. And, while it’s far too much to get into here, if you look deeper into the Bible, you’ll find that it never gives a clear argument against homosexuality. Much of the supposed “statements” against such practice were actually created upon translation errors from the original Biblical languages. As for Leviticus, yes, it does condemn homosexuality. However, it also states that misbehaving children be exiled, that we do not have tattoos, get piercings of any type, eat shellfish, or even wear clothes with mixed materials (most clothing these days are made with a cotton/polyester blend). So, my question to you: Why are you insisted we follow one specific rule in the Code of Moses, when we are a) under Christ’s law, rendering the Code invalid and b) not following the vast majority of the Code.

        • Jbartlett

          Marriage was created by God in Genesis, not by the government. Marriage is a holy union that is recognized by the state, but not created by it.

          • Djgarcia77

            If states are using a holy union as the basis for recognizing civil rights associated with marriage, then there is no separation of church and state; a concept the US was founded upon. Marriage has practical reasons, I don’t just want it for the title.

          • ComonNow!

            First lets talk about the issue of “separation” of church and state.  The United States was NOT founded on the principle of separation, rather it was founded on the principal of FREEDOM of religion.  Simply stating that the State cannot prohibit a person from practicing their religion, nor can it impose a single state religion.  It was never meant to separate church from state (in a religious sense).  Look at the Declaration of Independence, look at the Pledge of Allegiance, heck the Supreme Court has the 10 commandments in the chambers.  

            Secondly, marriage in this context is a religious union (we’re talking about the Catholic  Church’s teachings).  So, in that state and sacrament of holy marriage, it’s impossible for a same-sex couple to perform that sacrament (and yes it’s the couple that performs the marriage sacrament, not the priest). 

          • Bigsky

            Concerning separation of church and state, so true and well spoken.  Separation is a twisted and false interpretation of the Constitution.  Speak a lie often enough and soon everyone starts to believe it.

          • Kivri

            “Believing with you that religion is a matter which lies solely between Man & his God, that he owes account to none other for his faith or his worship, that the legitimate powers of government reach actions only, & not opinions, I contemplate with sovereign reverence that act of the whole American people which declared that their legislature should “make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof,” thus building a wall of separation between Church & State.” -Thomas Jefferson

          • :)

            Marriage was created before Genesis, so was government. And refer to Djgarcia’s comment about separation of church and state

          • Lma_01

            Genesis tells of the beginning of the world and the people God created… I don’t think there was much going on before that. :)

          • Champa224

            Except Genesis tells the creation story of one part of the world. Are you saying that god created marriage for the godless pagans? There are as many creation stories as there are religions, darling.

          • Champa224

            Lies. Read your ancient history friend.

        • Colleen

          Yes that has nothing to do with love but it should have everything to so with love, and always should! We are called to love!  And nothing anyone can say can change that!  With out love this world becomes a dark and dangerous place.  But  selfishness takes loves place so often! We want what we want, when we want it, and where ever we want it!  Freedom is not doing what you want, when you want it, where you want it! It is doing what is true and noble. Doing what is right!  God created man and woman not man and man.  He said be fertile and multiply.  You can’t be fertile if you and the same sex only barren.  You can’t bring life into this world.  We are called to love all.  So I myself love those who a Gay.  But I don’t except the actions of being gay.  Since God created us to come together as man and woman.
          Peace and Joy :)

        • Guest

          Let’s not forget 2 things:
          the Bible was not written by God but rather through man’s interpretation of what God was saying
          and the fact that homosexuality was around way before the Catholic faith & Jesus.

          • guest

            The entire Bible, Genesis to Revelation, is the inspired Word of God. Yes it was written by man, but it was the Holy Spirit who inspired what was to be written down in the Bible. Therefore we can say that all of Sacred Scripture was inspired by God

          • MSGuest

            “Inspired by” doesn’t mean that man’s interpretation is accurate.  There are movies and books all the time that are “inspired by a true story,” but the new interpretation is embellished and loses its accuracy to make for a better story, so how can you expect the interpretation by flawed human beings when trying to convey the perfect Word of God as a perfect interpretation?

        • Maniacmotomouth

          Dude read ur bible. The bible names man as the head yes…but it also says that the male should take council from his wife. Notice that it says MAN and WOMEN. Just because things change,doesn’t mean that it’s no longer sin

      • Ldodds8705

        I was born without being physically able to have children, and was baptised catholic. I am also gay. But before I became open with my sexuality, no one, not even the priests I talked to, told me I had to abstain from marriage because I couldn’t physically bear children. You are full of crap. The bible does say, however, that you have to open to having a family, and that is the basis for marriage in gods eyes. But if god didn’t give you the ability to have children on your own, that doesn’t mean you have to live a life without love. And there are many other ways to have children and start a family. And I am gay as well. And just because I choose to love someone who is the same sex as me DOES NOT mean I cannot have the family God wants me to have. It makes me mad how close minded people can be. Especially when it comes to God and religion. We are not God, and only he can judge.

        • enness

          I’m sorry they neglected to tell you that ‘marriage’ to someone of the same sex would be sinful — I think this may have been irresponsible of them.
          ‘A life without love’?  That would truly be appalling.  But that is not what you are talking about.  I am loved by my parents, loved by my friends, most especially loved by God.  And I have never had what you would call a romantic relationship.  That is not the only kind of love there is.  Celibacy does not have to relegate anybody to a life of pure misery — and honestly, I’m getting really tired of people acting like I’m a freak, too.
          Lastly, of course we are not to usurp the position of God in judgment; this is why I never presume to tell anyone they are going to hell, unlike some people I have heard of by word of mouth.  But the Bible does explicitly tell us that we must warn others of sin (and this one is well-established by His word) or be accountable for their blood.

        • Cristinatorresbi

          Hi: Probably priests didn’t tell you to abstain from getting married and having sex because it is very common for people who were told that they were not going to be able to have children, to eventually be able to do so. (I know at leats 5 people who have been told they were not going to be able to have kids, and they have had kids…) Also, I take advantage to say the following:
           1. The Church doesn’t teach that gay people are bad, the Church teaches that GAY SEX is sinful.
          2. Sex is not a sinnonim of love. You are definitely wanted to love everyone around you, what God and his commitmentas ask you not to do is to have sex with people from your own gender, you can still love them…
          3. It is not people who invented or interpreted something grond it is the Bible that explains it. I’ll coute some of the texts in the Bible that reject people from the same gender having sex:
          (Romans 1)- “Because that, when they knew God, they have not glorified him as God, or given thanks; but became vain in their thoughts, and their foolish heart was darkened… who changed the truth of God into a lie; and worshipped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed for ever. Amen. For this cause God delivered them up to shameful affections. For their women have changed the natural use into that use which is against nature. And, in like manner, the men also, leaving the natural use of the women, have burned in their lusts one towards another, men with men working that which is filthy, and receiving in themselves the recompense which was due to their error… they who do such things, are worthy of death; and not only they that do them, but they also that consent to them that do them.”

          (Jude 1:7) -“As Sodom and Gomorrah, and the neighboring cities, in like manner, having given themselves to fornication, and going after strange flesh, were made an example, suffering the punishment of eternal fire.”

          (Leviticus 18:22), “Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination.”

          (Leviticus 20:13), “If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.”

          (Deuteronomy 23:17), “There shall be no whore of the daughters of Israel, nor a sodomite of the sons of Israel.” 

          (1 Kings 14:24), “And there were also sodomites in the land: and they did according to all the abominations of the nations which the LORD cast out before the children of Israel.” 

          (1 Kings 15:11-12), “And Asa did that which was right in the eyes of the LORD, as did David his father. And he took away the sodomites out of the land, and removed all the idols that his fathers had made.”
           
          So, its not that Catholic people are close minded or retrograde. Since before the time of Jesus, people performed sex between members of their same geneder, it wasn’t accepted by the church then, and it will never be accepted.

          If you decide to stay gay it is fine (not get psicologically treated infor example with http://www.comingoutloved.com/home1.aspx ), you are not defined by the sexual relations you have had with someone from your gender, you can always decide to offer not having sex and still be gay like many gays also do.

          Just as well as you shouldn’t feel defined by the sex you have had, I don’t feel defined by the lies I’ve told, the people I have incorrectly criticised, or whichever sin I have commited. Instead, I regret having comitted it, I get confessed and try not to do it again in order to be happier and to  have a closer relationship to God.

          • enness

            It now appears I misread the post (mea culpa)…not that what I said isn’t true, but you’re right that it’s a different situation.  Thank you.

          • Tom

            I may not be totally up to date on my hebrew but I’m pretty sure ’abomination’ comes from the Hebrew word ‘to’evah’, meaning contrary to ritual. If somebody knows more about Hebrew please chime in. But if I am correct the bible says that homosexual sex is contrary to ritual. Not the modern day use of abomination. Contrary to ritual is not always sin.

          • Kevin

            I had not heard this before. It really intrigues me though. I will have to look into it. Thank you. (:

          • Kevin

            One thing you neglected to mention is that “Love” does not equal “lust.” In some of your quoted passages (Romans, Jude), it clearly states that the lustful actions were immoral – it does not say that the acts were immoral because they were homosexual.
            As far as Leviticus goes, don’t even start with me on that book. It is filled with what is called the “Code of Moses,” a series of laws the Israelites were expected to follow. However, this code was nullified when Christ died on the cross for us. We are children of Christ’s covenant, the new and everlasting covenant, not the one between the Lord and Moses. To cite some examples supporting this, look at Leviticus 19 (right between the two passages you mentioned).
            Lev 19:19 – “Do not plant your field with two kinds of seed. Do not wear clothing woven of two kinds of materials.”
            Lev 19:26 – “Do not eat any meat with the blood still in it.”
            19:27 – “Do not cut the hair at the sides of your head or clip off the edges of your beard.”
            19:28 – “Do not cut your bodies for the dead or put tattoo marks on yourselves. I am the Lord.”
            I could go on and on.
            As far as the rest of your quoted passages, that regards the issue of sodomy. Sodomy refers to “lustful sexual practices” and is commonly thought to be referencing homosexual acts. However, the meaning extends to acts between members of opposite sexes and even between humans and animals.

            Again, it all comes down to lust. I believe lust is wrong, but (as a bisexual catholic) I am just as likely to lust with a woman as I am with a man. And I’m striving to eliminate the lust in my life. However, an act isn’t lustful just because it is homosexual.

        • OtterMommy

          Actually, yours in the closed mind. You are so focused on what you want and what makes you feel good that you refuse to see what is good and right for you as planned by God. If you choose to life partner with someone of the same sex and adopt children, that is no indication that God meant for you to have that family. It simply means you chose that family outside of the natural plan God has for humanity, and it’s based on your own desires. You are right that only God can judge. But getting what you want now and denying His laws, regardlesss of the proof set in front of you, does not mean you have escaped His judgement. He is merciful, but He is also just.

          • Peasdjfhskdjhf@aol.com

            I find it hard to believe God is looking down upon gay couples who adopt , saying they” went against his plan ” . It is a miracle to both the adopted child and the parents that they are able to have a family . The fact is people are truly born gay. They should be able to live and love just as straight people do. Romantic love is a miracle in its self . It is beautiful . How can we deny two people in love the right to truly be in love . Their feelings are no different from a straight couples.

          • Champa224

            What makes you think you know what God’s plan is for someone other than yourself?

        • some guy

          Its not close minded any more than your inability to accept the beliefs of Catholics is close minded.  You don’t agree.  OK that’s fine, but why would you get mad.  Is it because these people are professing a way of life that, were you to follow, would require sacrifice and inconvenience.  All are called to those things.  I am married and if left without guidance and my own devices, We would probably use birth control and just have sex whenever we wanted and without thought.  This would eventually lead to us just viewing each other as instruments used for mutual masturbation.  Not saying that we would no longer love each other, but  we would start taking our bodies for granted and not respecting our whole selves.  I speak from experience because we did not always follow the Catholic teaching and I would fight vehemently against anyone who said I was wrong.  Since beginning to follow, our marriage is astronomically better and I never knew I could feel this close to my wife.  But I digress.  
          Nobody is picking on gays.  When My wife and I were having sex using birth control, we were no better than a couple of the same sex having sex or an unmarried couple having sex.  Sex has to serve two functions.  It has to be both unitive and procreative.   
          Opposing gay marriage is not an “i’m better than you” argument.  From a Catholic perspective, It just goes against what God has taught.  Being Gay is not a sin,  But any sex, gay or straight, that is not both unitive and procreative and within the bounds of marriage is sinful

      • St8college2012

        What about married couples who decided to/are unable to have children?

        Is a child, the only thing that holds a marriage together? And if so, that is really really sad.

      • Kevin

        I would like to ask one question, regarding something you (Joseph Amendolea) said: “You don’t want a family, you just want a license to continue a sexual practice that has no basis in the order of God…”.
        Who are you to declare what her wants are? Speaking as a bisexual catholic myself, I can honestly say that, for me, I am not looking for a reason to justify sex. All I want is to be able to love the person I love, regardless of what gender they are. I want to start a family, maybe adopt kids, but my overall intent it simply to love them the way they are, as I know they love me. I understand what you are saying about sex being a part of marriage, but LOVE IS NOT BASED MERELY OFF OF SEXUAL INTERCOURSE. And I feel that to demean someone, saying they only are looking for ways to justify sex, is a thoughtless remark spoken from ignorance.
        People speak of homosexuality like it is made solely out of lust. But everyone who knows me personally knows that isn’t the case, at least with me. I am not saying that no gay/bisexual man/woman is not consumed by lust – but I AM saying that it’s just as easy for a straight person to stray into lust as well. My relationships are built off of true feelings for someone, for loving someone. And they are neither immoral nor lustful.

        • some guy

          Of course straight people stray into lust,  Nobody is giving that a pass.  But really, what is the purpose of birth control or any sex without the possibility of life?  why does birth control need to exist?  so people can give into lust and not have to worry about conceiving a child.  The same is true for homosexual sex.  What is the result?  Getting off is the only one I can think of, forgive me for being blunt but this is a blog and a place to be blunt.  No love is not based off of sexual intercourse.  sexual intercourse is based off renewing the love professed at marriage.  This marital act is intended to be unitive yes, but also procreative.  If you don’t believe this, than thats where the discussion end, because it is merely a difference in our notion of truth.  

      • memora93

        Have you ever fallen in love? If so, did you pick someone out of a crowd and told yourself, “Self, Fall in love with that person!” Probably not. More than likely you fell in love with who your heart decided to love. Gay people fall in love just like you. Their heart is just like yours. It loves who it loves. If there were more accepting people that realize GOD created all of us, there sure would be a lot more love to spread around the world.  And a lot less homeless children.

    • Nicko

      The point comes down to this I think… God created Man and Woman to love one another. God decided that this is good, and that this is according to his plan. It’s as simple as that. Anything against that plan is not good, it is not according to His plan. It IS destructive, to His plan. Same sex acts are therefore immoral in nature. There is not a doubt that two men or two women can love each other, but it can’t be a complete love because while they are not compatible physically, they are not compatible spiritually. They weren’t designed that way and they weren’t created that way. It simply is not compatible. In this case, I think the sin lies in trying to shape God to you and your desires instead of shaping yourself to God and His plans. If we are trying to change our Creator, then there is something intrinsically wrong with this. It is simply not good. The Catholic church in the end cannot (not will not, cannot) give justification to same sex marriage because it is not according to God’s holy plan. That being said, same sex acts fall into pretty much the same category as fornication. I pray for everyone in this matter every day, and I hope that you will find God and the Truth, for God and the Truth are the same.

      • Lindsay

        I would encourage all to look more deeply into this topic- I especially recommend Andrew Sullivan and “New Natural Law” and reading the Catechism’s discussion of conscience which is the final arbiter of our moral decision making.

        Furthermore, the judgments of conscience are validated by their effects:
        “the education of the conscience guarantees freedom and engenders peace
        of heart.”

        If each of us is seeking to become more like Jesus, to be transformed by the gospel and grow closer to our infinite God I think we will become more aware that God is so much bigger than the limitations we place on our own Creator.

        • T17ac

          Um…slight problem with your reasoning Lindsay: your conscience has to be informed. According to our faith, who informs our consciences? The Church; it is the guardian of truth. Furthermore, the Church teaches that man has a telos; i.e. communion with God in the Beatific Vision with all of the Saints. That is our end. Our decisions and response to grace dictate if that happens of course.

          What you advocate, Lindsay, is not Catholicism, but a type of cafeteria-catholicism in which we can all pick and choose what we want to believe in based on, “I don’t like it” or, “I like it.” Also, I find it odd that you don’t believe being in a homosexual relationship is necessarily antithetical to Christian Dogma, and yet you mentioned, or at least alluded to, your having mentioned it in the confessional. If there isn’t anything wrong with it, why mention it at all?

          • Ilcb21

            Oh yes “cafeteria catholicism” is horrible. It actually challenges people to reevaluate their religion, think critically about it, form their own thoughts and opinions on issues that they formed their life around. That does not necessarily mean people pick things they personally would like to abide by or would not. It’s much more impressive to be handed a box of your beliefs at birth and when questioned or challenged respond with “because the bible says so”. So many people truly have no real thoughts of their own.

          • Nicko

            Um. Are you dissing the Bible? Are you dissing the great minds of 2000 years of church history? Are you dissing the fact that for every single decision the church does, there is loads upon loads of research and debate with the intent of finding the truth? People shouldn’t respond necessarily with, “Because the Bible says” But rather with, “It’s what God says, and it’s the truth, and here’s why…” I would challenge you to study your faith a little more seriously. I’ll pray for you.

          • Godistheworsthumaninvention

            Hooray for make believe!

          • :)

            … the church does research?

          • Maniacmotomouth

            Ever heard of freakin bible scholars? What, you think they just sit around and read the bible over and over…think about it

        • Hidden One

          My conscience is merely the final arbiter of what I think that I ought to do (which is not to say that I should go against it). As a Catholic, it is my duty to learn what the Church teaches. What the Church teaches on definitively is true. It is the final arbiter of what IS right to do. I must, therefore, take that into account in deciding what I shall do.

          • DarkTemplar

            Yeah that’s why the Church has made many mistakes in the past, like umm, slavery, crusades, holy wars, the Inquisition. Yeah the Church is never wrong…

          • Nicko

            Stop reading secular, changed history textbooks and start reading primary sources please.
            1). Slavery- The church has never approved this. Any priest, deacon, or Catholic who has had a slave in history was going against the values of the church.
            2). The Inquisition- This is grossly over exaggerated. If you add up all the ‘accounts’ of people being ‘ruthlessly slaughtered’ it adds up to the population of Europe at the time. Which is frankly impossible. I do believe the actual account was less than 3000, and that was done under the governement really.
            3). Crusades- Pope John Paul II apologized for those btw. The true intent of the crusades was to defend pilgrims and Jerusalem from the invading Muslim army of the time, and not an extermination of Islam or anything like that. What happened along the way that was shameful is that people did not act in the way the church wanted. The church did not do wrong, but the soldiers did at times.

          • enness

            Local politics, angendas, and ambitions were indeed behind a lot of the inquisitions.  Also, the Ottoman Empire engaged in conquest and made not exactly negligible inroads into Europe.
            But again…this is a distraction. 

          • guest

            “He
            forgot that, in 1462, Pius II declared slavery to be “a great crime”
            (magnum scelus); that, in 1537, Paul III forbade the enslavement of the
            Indians; that Urban VIII forbade it in 1639, and Benedict XIV in 1741;
            that Pius VII demanded of the Congress of Vienna, in 1815, the
            suppression of the slave trade and Gregory XVI condemned it in 1839;
            that, in the Bull of Canonization of the Jesuit Peter Claver, one of the
            most illustrious adversaries of slavery, Pius IX branded the “supreme
            villainy” (summum nefas) of the slave traders.” – Catholic Encyclopedia

          • DarkTemplar

            Oh yeah and calling Galileo a heretic for proving gravitational laws and what else…

          • Npierlot

            He wasn’t declared a heretic for proving gravitational laws. The church actually supported his research and even liked his ideas. But the problem came when Galileo started to say that his expectations were true when his experiments were not even done. He started to say it was true, without a question, when it was not completely proven. That is why the church disapproved of his work at a certain point.

          • :)

            “Galileo was found “vehemently suspect of heresy”, namely of having held
            the opinions that the Sun lies motionless at the centre of the universe,
            that the Earth is not at its centre and moves, and that one may hold
            and defend an opinion as probable after it has been declared contrary to
            Holy Scripture. He was required to “abjure, curse and detest” those opinions.”… learn to use wiki or google.

      • guest

        How do you know that God has a gender?  He, His?  Tricky language.

        • Nicko

          Haha, I don’t particularly see how that is related. But I’ll say why, I’m going by the basis of the Holy Trinity: The Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit (or Holy Ghost). For now, I guess that raps up why God is a He in my use of language.

          • Guest

            yeah that comment was irrelevant. Some people unfortunately look for the slip ups to try and disprove rather than prove… which is not what God asks in us.

          • Guest

            “In no way is God in man’s image.” (Catechism of teh Catholic Church, paragraph 370)     

        • Mario

          If you are a Christian, you should believe and God is the Father, Jesus is the Son, and They have a Holy Spirit.. That is called the Trinity my brother :)

        • Felix

          God is beyond gender. Referring to him as “He” is just faster. You’re using a red herring by trying to draw attention away from the point at hand.

        • Serena

          God reveals Himself as Father–but that does not mean God is male; being male or female is a creature thing. He sent his son, Jesus, who actually was incarnate as male.
          As far as gender goes, I don’t know God’s thoughts, so I wouldn’t know. God is so complex, and we cannot understand all of His ways, but He is a perfect Father. That does not mean he conforms to our ideas of a father, playing a gender-role. That is why we can also attribute “motherly” characteristics to God.

        • Angelakoerkel

          God is genderless, He is both male and female together, perfection (also a reason why marriage is one woman/one man, we are made in His image and this is the only way to complete that).  However, He is referred to in the masculine largely because of what I’ve read here: life giving.  Think about human procreation: the male gives something to the female (sperm obviously) and she receives it and nourishes it (baby): He gives life, she receives it.  God is the ultimate (literally) creator, the giver of life, and we are the ones that receive it.  This is also one reason why the Catholic church is referred to in the feminine (there are other reasons, too, but this is a biggie).  We, the church, have been given life by God and are called on to nourish and care for it.  He gives and we receive.

        • GUEST

          And about that plan that keeps getting mentioned . . . where is that written exactly?
           

          • Ct278

            The entire Bible is an outline of God’s Plan. It is a letter of Love to us

          • Nicko

            God’s plan is written in our hearts, and He reveals it to us by prayer and by seeking Him out. The Bible also has parts of His plan in there too. We can also deduct what God’s plan is in nature, true nature, not the flawed parts since the fall of man.

          • kn

            I’m seriously sorry to sound rude, but you seriously have never read the Bible. I don’t understand why you are bothering to read this page, when you are asking why is God referred to as “He”, and what this “plan” is that “keeps getting mentioned”…

        • guest

          This isn’t really tricky language…. Seeing as God is referred to as male in the entire Bible. This doesn’t mean He has a gender, it’s just a way of referring to Him. It would be a little insulting to call God an “it”, like a tree or rock, wouldn’t it?

        • Richardarthur57

          The answer is simple, Read the bible. Mmmmm I remember Jesus giving us a prayer which starts as “Our Father” Hope that answers your question.

          • Guest

            You are correct.  The answer is simple, but it’s not your answer.

            “In no way is God in man’s image.” (Catechism of teh Catholic Church, paragraph 370)

        • Maniacmotomouth

          God had a gender when he was in earth. But the bible points to the fact that in heaven there is no gender

      • Zach Weems

        You are making the assumption that God’s plan exclusively allows man and woman to marry.  I do not think this is true.  Yes, Adam and Eve were the original parents, for obvious biological reasons, but this does not mean that their descendants cannot be called to marriages that are not fertile.  Nobody is trying to tell God how to run the universe here, we are trying to discern how He decided to do so.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Leonel-Farias/1482622613 Leonel Farias

      I wrote this message as if I was speaking to Catholics but I hope any one will benefit from it. What I say I say with the intention of only helping those who are attracted to the same sex or to those who wish to see a different view. Everyone is entitled to happiness but ultimately happiness HAS to come from God. Ideologically Priests and religious (nuns and monks) freely sacrifice the idea of a family not because they don’t want one or it wouldn’t make them happy but they do so because they come to and understanding that God is calling them to a Celibate and Chaste pure life. In a way gays are being called by God to do the same, to be Celibate and Chaste in freedom. Let me give you an example though we may be victims of others we are still called to forgive. “Father forgive me as I forgive those who trespass against me” Priests and Religious do not stop being attracted by femininity or masculinity just because of their vocation much as Christ did not lose his humanity or his proneness to be tempted because of his Divinity but Priests and Religious are able to accept the Celibate and Chaste life because their main source of happiness and strength is from God. Even within marriage for there to be true happiness it must be lived with God. Remember the vocation of marriage is a calling from God just as the vocation of the Priesthood is the calling from God. The story of Tobith illustrates the call of marriage and Jesus calling his disciples to follow him illustrates the call of the Priesthood. For further reading on the subject of Celibacy and Chastity, I recommend the following books, When God asks for and Undivided Heart Choosing Celibacy in Love and Freedom by Fr. Andrew Apostolli and also The Courage to be Chaste by Fr.Groeschel.

    • Chacha41

      Love isn’t sex, sex is about physical pleasure and procreation. Love is all about the Spirit. 

    • A Human

      Most of this discussion is pretty civil, and I appreciate that. Real discussion only happens when there is mutual respect on both sides. Here is something to lighten the mood: http://cdn.svcs.c2.uclick.com/c2/c00ff120e665012e2fb200163e41dd5b?width=900.0

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000126501231 Paul Primavera

      Reckless sexual acts: Adultery. Fornication. Homosexual sodomy. Masturbation. ANY sexual activity outside of Holy Matrimony between one man and one woman. Period.

    • http://www.facebook.com/#!/jbablitz?sk=notes Mrbablitz

      Brittany, go deeper. love is : a choice to act for the Good of the beloved…. that means the use of the sexual act must be in accordance with Divine order …. or it is not Good… ie destructive to the persons involved….  Love is not an emotion, it is not a desire, it is not lust, it is a choice. We are to love all people all of creation… as God ordered it. Peace and Good jb

  • http://www.facebook.com/timothy.b.evans Timothy Evans

    Very good post. Thanks for sharing it, Mary. I had read it before on his blog, but there is one point that I would like to ask about.

    “If you don’t believe in these things, if you believe that men and women and sex and marriage are pretty much whatever we say they are, then okay: we don’t have much left to talk about. That’s not the world I live in.”

    This almost implies that if you don’t live in that world, which most people don’t, then it’s okay. This could be misinterpreted as relativism.

    Could you expand upon that? How do you respond to someone who says, “I don’t care” when you say “homosexual actions go against God’s design”? To a strong Catholic, that is enough of a reason. But not for most people.
    “Being a Catholic means believing in a God who literally waits in the chapel for me, hoping I’ll stop by just for ten minutes so he can pour out love and healing on my heart. Which is worth more — all this, or getting to have sex with who I want?”
    Most people would say “Sex! Who cares about chapel time?”

    I think this is a great post, that really articulates well the Church’s viewpoint. The analogy with the mother and eating sand is particularly poignant for me. But the two quotes I cited are, for me, the weak point. I have yet to find a concise, simple argument that secular relativists would agree with.

    Any thoughts?

  • http://www.facebook.com/jonmarc.grodi JonMarc Grodi

    Beautiful – Courage, honesty, common sense. Thanks for sharing!

  • T. Dot

    This is a very interesting post, one with which I can deeply identify. However, rather than sticking with the church, my science skewed mind provided ample reasoning to leave her. I have to say that living a full homosexual life has been more freeing than anyhting I experienced within the Catholic faith.

    Leaving the church was difficult, but in the end it was for the best.

    I admire your resolve to stick to the faith, but personally, I think you’re missing out on alot for doing it.

    Cheers
    T.

    • David

      “In the end it was for the best…”  Be careful, my friend.  You have not yet reached the end, but you are in the middle. Perhaps it would be beneficial for you to consider the true end.  It may cause you to reconsider what is the best.

  • The-don7

    I like that article
    The man was truely honest about himself and he STILL has love for Mother Church
    thats amazing
    he made up some quotes in there that are truely inspirational.

  • Quest

     I am 60, widowed and Catholic.  It is not just one group of people effected by morale rules.  What do you think the odds are of my finding someone, single, not devorced, that I will what to be with, and who want to marry.  Morale rules are put there by God. The Catholic Church just chooses to follow all that God gave us.  If you think that Catholics just follow a special code, you only need to look at society to see the cost of not following morality.  Morality gone and you have, broken homes, abused children, drugs to get through the day,  and all those chaotic things on which our society thrives.  No,  I will be chaste until God provides what he desires for me. Sex is not even a runner up.         

  • Handmaiden

    Since there has been so much feedback…briefly, here IS the Catholic moral teaching, so people don’t get confused.  All the Church’s teachings are acceptable for Catholics and those who wish to inform their conscience; they make sense when we think about them deeply with an open heart, they are based on the goodness, truth, and beauty of God’s divine plan.   http://ccc.scborromeo.org.master.com/texis/master/search/?sufs=0&q=homosexual&s=SS
    More books about chastity include: When God Asks for an Undivided Heart: Choosing Celibacy in Love and Freedom, Theology of the Body: Human Love in the Divine Plan, Vita Consecrata, etc.

  • Ss

    The only question for me
    would be if our God can do anything. Why couldn’t he deliver a person
    from those desires or change them? The answer if of course that He can,
    and so my admonition would be to the person quoted in the article is to
    believe that He will.

    • Guest

      It’s not that He couldn’t. But we each have our cross to bear. Just because God can doesn’t mean He wills it. He draws us closer to Him through our struggles.

    • kacm

      Humans have free will because God created us that way and won’t interfere with that. In the same way that God won’t prevent homosexual feelings, He also won’t prevent people from lying, stealing, etc. It’s based on His will. When Jesus was crucified, people asked why God didn’t just take Him off the cross. Just because God can do something doesn’t mean He will. It’s all part of His will.

  • Samantha

    I’m glad to see a courageous gay person not following the very hurtful and very unfulfilling ways of our culture!  Let us give praise to the Lord who has made himself known through your courage!  The Lord is our shepherd and if we follow what He desires of us we will be much happier than if we choose what we desire.  That is exactly what the Gospel reading says today!  Matthew 7: 21, 24-27   READ IT!

  • Anoynted1

    Amen! Beautiful! He has found the balance between tolerance/acceptance and intolerance/hate…. He needs a bigger platform…

  • Blazegrl18

    ok, maybe i am just confused but i feel like this post is misleading…first of all the catholic church doesn’t say its a sin to be attracted to the same sex, its just a sin to act on it (which is a contradiction in itself). so what exactly are you confessing in confession if you are celibate? Second, do you identify as transgendered? If not, why are you in the women’s locker room otherwise? The gay men I know don’t use the women’s locker room to curb their gay urges.

    You also totally contradict yourself when you use your metaphor of a child having a condition that would give her a preference of sand over food to being gay. You said your family didn’t treat you like you have a disease, but do you treat yourself that way? Because you just compared being gay to having a “condition” that causes you to want something not good for you.

    I am Catholic and I am also gay. I appreciate the perspective but for the rest of us who struggle with this issue, this seems very condescending and also very skewed. I would like to understand what you believe the key to reconciling your “gayness” with you “catholic-ness” is. Because for me, its about living up to the standards that growing up Catholic has set for me, which as you know are very high. Its about being the kind of person that I think Jesus would have wanted as an apostle. Not about denying a part of who I am and calling myself a hero for it.

    I’m sorry. I have to disagree. But thank you for your perspective.

    • Billy

      Blazegrl18, just as point of clarification, the author was not saying that he goes into women’s locker rooms to curb his desires.  He was implying that he has trouble dealing with temptations as a gay man in men’s locker rooms.  And in the confessional, he might just say “locker rooms,” which might lead the priest to assume he was a straight man in a women’s locker room.

      Also, it is not a contradiction to say that the attraction and the action are different.  For this man, temptation often probably comes in the form of men to whom he is attracted, and his resistance to temptation (i.e. avoidance of sin) is not acting on those desires in thought or action.  As I do not know his soul, I am just guessing here, but I suspect he may be confessing times when he dwells on sinful thoughts of homosexual things.

      I am also confused by your final statement.  I don’t think that this man would say he is “denying who he is,” anymore than any of us would say we are “denying” who we are by avoiding sin.  We all have crosses to bear in lives, whether we choose to take them up and bear them is ultimately our choice.  I pray that one day you might bear the cross that God has given you.  Know that Jesus will help you with the weight!

      • enness

        Once again I point out, there’s some evidence for a genetic predispostion toward alcoholism.  I think everybody can agree that we’re all better off if these individuals “deny who they are” – that is, stay away from temptations to drink.  A bit ironic, don’t you think?

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1632815659 Joshua von Kampen

      “Condition” does not necessarily equal “disease”.

  • Joe

    This article gives me a lot of hope for the future. Truly, what a courageous young man. I do not hate homosexuals in the slightest, yet I am told how stupid and hate-filled I am when I try to express my opinion. Funny how most gay marriage supporters claim to be so open-minded while I am not, and yet, they will not hear me out when I try to explain my stance. Another great point is all about love, this man loves God, and because he loves God so much, he makes the difficult decision everyday to abstain from his sinful desires, just like straight couples must also do. Great article.

  • meirai

    Very interesting post.

    However, it doesn’t do a whole lot to convince those, like myself, that reject divine command theory as the foundation of morality. While I respect his decision to abide by those standards, I don’t believe those same standards necessarily apply to everyone. (I would probably nominate some combination of rule utilitarianism and virtue ethics for the standards which do apply to everyone, by the way.)

    That probably leaves me in the category of people that just doesn’t believe the same thing about men, women, sex, and marriage. While I’m fine with not discussing issues related to God’s existence or the foundation of morality, it does seem like an incomplete argument without answering that objection.

    One major thing that did ring very true was the comment about LGBT activists making him feel unwelcome or misunderstood. I’ve  felt that way myself sometimes, when dealing with friends who hold more extreme opinions than myself about something, and I wish they would understand that it does make them seem less tolerant, even if that isn’t their intention – even if the issue they’re pushing so strongly for means increasing tolerance!

  • Tom

    Last year Pope Benedict condoned the use of condoms to prevent the spread of HIV. If a married couple is using a condom the sexual acts between them are not for procreation purposes. Why is it wrong for the LGTBQ population to get married and engage in non-procreative consensual sexual actions?

    • Paula

      Dear Tom,

      The Catholic Church does *not* approve of the use of contraception (e.g. condoms) in *any* setting, including a heterosexual marriage. In other words, if a married man and woman are having “protected” sex, they are committing a sin.

      • drea

        I think you might want to fact check… Pope Benedict actually did say condom use is okay to stop the spread of aids… And in any case how is natural family planning any different from other forms of contraception?  It also allows for married couples to have sex while preventing procreation.  If you are to argue against this… I would laugh because there would be a whole lot of unnecessary procreating within the catholic church.  Besides the stereotypical Catholic family with 6-10 kids I’m pretty sure a majority of families have far less nowadays… meaning there HAS to be non-procreative sex going on….. Its not just gays…. its heterosexual too.

        http://www.nytimes.com/2010/11/21/world/europe/21pope.html

        • Hidden One

          No, Pope Benedict did not say that it was ok. He said that the *intention* of a prostitute to avoid giving his partner AIDS was a good *intention*. That is rather different than condoning the act. Unfortunately, media outlets both secular and Catholic misunderstood him… oh, the perils of leaving the media to interpret academia. Ask any academic in the sciences if the media has a half-decent track record when it comes to reporting things that are not what they appear to be at first glance – the answer will be “No!”, especially if the first impression makes a better news story. Alas.

          • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=824805132 Andrew Arriaga

            OMG THAT DARN MEDIA! Good thing we have academics who can tell us how many angels can polka with how many demons on the head of a needle.

            The truth, friend, is that the brainier, more orthodox theologians in the Church are many steps ahead of your herd-following head. Theology is  developing, as it is wont, around the importance of preventing the spread of HIV/AIDS within a married relationship. There is a unitive aspect to the conjugal act, as expressed by JPII, that very few people on this blog seem to understand.

        • enness

          “It’s true, see?  It was in the New York Times!”

          Wonder why you’re hearing the sound of muffled laughter?

          Why don’t you try the National Catholic Register instead. 
          http://www.ncregister.com/

          This reminds me of when somebody penned an article about “stress-free jobs” and included orchestra musician…which, surveys have shown, have about the same level of job satisfaction as prison guards…that author got an earful in the comments.

  • katie

    WOW. This man is a saint in our age. What a beautiful understanding of life and the gift and sacredness of our sexuality.

  • Presentlyhappy

    Beautifully written and thank you for your honesty. May God bless you abundantly now and in eternity.

  • Kate

    First of all, I would like to say that I’m very impressed by the tone of these comments, on both sides.  This is a subject that often leads to passionate debate that can sometimes spin out of control and become cruel, and I appreciate that it seems that everyone is being as considerate as possible.

    I personally believe that people are entitled to the lifestyles they choose.  I have as much respect for a person who chooses to be celibate as I do for a person who chooses not to be.  And honestly, I think that God feels that way too.

    I will admit that I’m a bit out of my element here, as I was not raised Catholic but in a Protestant community church.  I will be completely honest and say that there are some aspects of religion that have puzzled me or raised questions in my mind – but the element of my faith of which I am most certain is that of love.

    Love is a gift from God, and I don’t believe that love will ever lead to anything that is wrong.  Many people argue that because homosexual love cannot lead to procreation, it is purposeless and therefore must not be pursued.  But I believe that, in a different sense of the word, homosexuals are just as capable of procreation – perhaps not in the biological sense, but absolutely in the sense that they can use their love to create life for the future.  There are so many children in this world born into terrible conditions, and so many loving gay couples who are dying to give these children a chance at a happy, loving life.  To be able to do so, I believe, is to create a life that would not have the same chance otherwise.  

    No, not every gay couple chooses to have children – but not every straight couple does either.  At the end of the day, I believe it is love that truly validates these relationships.  To me, the bottom line is love – no matter how it is experienced or enjoyed.  Where there is love, there is God.

    • enness

      Kate,

      I’m impressed too…and forgive me because I’m about to get nitpicky.  On whose authority do you say what you think God feels?  His, or yours?  Really ask yourself at all times, not just now, if some of us aren’t putting words in His mouth.  (I think we could agree on the concepts of respect and free will, but I also don’t think that’s what you’re ultimately trying to say.)

      Second: you write, “I don’t believe that love will ever lead to anything that is wrong.”  So if something is wrong, by definition it cannot be authentic love, no matter how it is dressed up.  That is a conflict I will leave with you to resolve, with only the suggestion that you try resolving it the other direction this time and see if it changes your perspective. ;)  

  • Dominic Dematte

    Awesome!!!!  Incredible witness in a culture with such a twisted view of Faith and God.  Thank you for your witness!  You are in my prayers.  Stay strong! Please pray for me.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Kelly-Gallen/100000668859487 Kelly Gallen

    Not everyone is Catholic - it is imporant to respect & love each other. It is not so important whether your spouse is male or female, & it is no comparison to eating sand, baby they were born this way & God created them too, maybe to test us. Marriage equality rights have nothing to do with the catholic faith, if you don’t accept them fine don’t marry someone of the same sex or accept them into your church but don’t say because you don’t belive that its wrong.

  • Erika

    I think it’s really amazing what this man is going. I go to a school where many of the students, who are my friends, are gay and it’s hard to explain to them the Church’s views on homosexuality and to have it make sense in their eyes. Just proof that there is someone out there who is gay and understands the views of Catholisism and respects them is really inspiring :)

  • Attractive Individual

    glad to hear your story. not too many people get a solid understanding of the Eucharist, because they let the words just gloss over them at Mass. If people knew what truly was happening, then i’m sure more people would have your strength

  • Ssanluis

    This was probably the most offensive thing I have ever read. You’re saying because I am gay, I am NOT CAPABLE of loving? That is insane, and hundreds of loving gay couples prove that completely wrong every day. I am a gay Christian, I just don’t believe homosexuality is a sin because it is outdated, like when it says in Leviticus that its a sin to shave your head, allow women in the church, eat lobster, or not sacrifice the purest lamb.

    • Hidden One

      The Old Testament also contains prohibitions of rape and murder – are they outdated too? If not, why not?

    • Babsieblue

      No where in this article did he imply that gay people are incapable of loving. He was referring to the term “marriage.” Marriage literally means a union between a man and a woman. Gay union is possible, gay marriage is not.

  • Jill

    that is so beautiful. “it’s hard to be ANYTHING and Catholic.” brilliant.

  • Momlafond

    So, my understanding of what the Church teaches, and believes in as our Faith, is that EVERY PERSON is unique, is individual, and has all the burdens and graces and opportunities as every other person, to meet God, on His terms, if we love Him and endeavor to serve Him, as we ought.  As a single Catholic, I am called to celebacy, simply because I am not married, and do not enjoy the union in marriage that God created for me, with another person, who would be a man because I am a woman.  When a person, of the Catholic Faith, who actually lives their life as a Catholic, is called to marriage, it would not be with a person of the same sex, which does not make any sense.  God instituted marriage as being between a man and a woman.  All sex aside, it only makes sense, because of the complimentarity of marriage.  Even if the couple could not engage in any intimacy, the complimentarity is still possible, because as a man and a woman, their union would have that component, since opposites attract, (magnets, for instance, the most basic of examples), so, if a person struggles with same-sex attraction, they need a lot of prayer, and as a brother or a sister, struggling with that issue, are deserving (of course) of support in prayer, and deserving of love and respect, just like every other person who is pursing God in their journey toward Him, as we all are.  It also can’t hurt to pray for that person, struggling.  If they had some kind of another disorder, we would be willing to pray, right?  So, maybe we can pray for this person, and every other person who is struggling with this same issue.  It could not hurt them, and it could also help us, since we ought to pray for everyone who seeks to make their life right with God, no matter how imperfectly.

  • Janine

    I believe that we all need to concern ourselves with our own spiritual journey and our own relationship with God before we concern ourselves with those of others. How dare any of you judge. That is God’s place and no one else’s.

    • Chris

      And, he has. He has given his revelations to the Church and divinely inspired the books of the Bible, and gave us the Magisterium to gives us authoritative teaching on God’s revelations.

  • ModernCatholic

    Beautifully written. Thank you for being such a witness. I work with college students and the catholic teaching’s on this topic are difficult for both heterosexual and homosexual students. Finding an article like this is invaluable, personal witness in the end is what reveals the beauty of God’s love for all of us. It’s articles like this that help us to see we are human and we all struggle, but we are called to same call to holiness threw love and sacrifice. Again, thank you for being a witness, this was so encouraging to read…

    P.s. to the people below talking about family and children etc… read Dietrich Von Hildebrand’s book, “Marriage: The Mystery of Faithful Love.” It’s beautiful, talks about natural marriage as well as sacramental marriage. We need both, but sacramental marriage is even more beautiful then people realize. 

  • Pingback: Catholic and Gay | Young and Catholic | Hear Me Out

  • David

    I find this offensive. Not for anything involving homosexuality, but the fact that he describes a religion without restrictions as “a pretty shabby, lazy religion”. I go to a church that is COMPLETELY understanding with any person who walks through the doors and does not judge any of those people. Drug addicts, homosexuals, handicaps, etc. We are open to everyone. Church is not a place to find “correction”, it is a place to find GOD. My personal belief is that as long as you have God, you will go to Heaven. END OF QUESTION. God does not hate anyone. He loves us all. If you believe in him, you will go to Heaven. You don’t need good deeds, you don’t need morality, you don’t need to be straight! YOU JUST NEED GOD. It upsets me to hear anyone say that someone will be hated or disliked in the eyes of the Lord because of their behaviors. He loves us unconditionally. I would find it absolutely repulsive to believe in a God that does not love a certain “kind” of person, no matter how “terrible” they seem. 

    • Hidden One

      The author might argue that, although your church is understanding of all people, that the Catholic Church understands all people. Your church professes to accept what people are; the Catholic Church professes to give them what they need.

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=824805132 Andrew Arriaga

        Asserting that the Catholic Church has a collective brain that could possibly “understand all people”  betrays a profound lack of knowledge of the historic and present reality of that institution.

    • Jjjjjjg

      Restrictions on personal behavior as instructed in the Bible (“and the Word was with God and the Word was God”)

      Not, restrictions on compassion and understanding for sinners (which we all are) as you implied.

      Tolerance is one thing – but trying to bully Christians into believing that something God says is wrong, is not wrong, is something else.

      Why is the government issuing marriage licenses and making different tax laws for different people anyway? As a single person with no children, it’s not fair to me either.

    • Reepicheep

      “you don’t need morality” to go to heaven. Seriously?

      How could it possibly please God when we exploit/abuse/murder our siblings?

      God loves all his children. That doesn’t mean He loves our actions. Correcting is not judging. BECAUSE He loves us, He calls on us to repent. 

  • Katie

    Wow. My heart goes out to this man. He is brave and strong because of the choices he has made. He is living God’s testement

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Leonel-Farias/1482622613 Leonel Farias

    THIS MESSAGE IS AIMED AT ONLY CATHOLICS. Everyone is entitled to happiness but ultimately happiness HAS to come from God.

    IDeologically Priests and religious (nuns and monks) sacrfice the idea of a family not because they don’t want one or it wouldn’t make them happy but they do so because they come to and understanding that God is calling them to a Celibate and chaste pure life in a way similar to Gays.

    Priest and Religious do not stop being tempted by the desires of feminity or masculity, they do not lose their humnaity just because of their vocation much as Christ did not lose his humanity because of his Divinity and furthermore more Priests and Religious are able to accept this Celibate and Chaste life because their main source of happinnes is from God.

    Gays and Straights who expect to find their happiness in another person will eventually be dissapointed in one way or another. The Calling of Gays and sigle people is to be Celibate and Chaste, this is a very clear matter, For further reading on the subject of Celibacy and Chastity, I recommend the following books, When God asks for and Undivided Heart Choosing Celibacy in love and freedom by Fr. Andrew Apostolli and also The Courage to be Chaste by Fr.Groeschel.

  • Michele

    Thank you for being a live testament, and sharing your words.  You make it seen possible that we can share our struggles openly with love. You have given beautiful words of encouragement for everyone who struggles in their own way.  Thank you.

  • Shelly

    Beautiful and beautifully said. And what courage and great strength it takes to live out the Catholic life you have chosen of celibacy. You rock! It is hard to be Catholic. I love what you said about any religion that is easy is lazy and not worth much. I wish more people, gay or not, could read this blog. All the “relevancy” today is frightening. You are to be commended and what an example you are to others. Thank you for standing for the truth and for sharing this with others. God bless you!

  • Collpatrick

    try being unmarried, heterosexual and unsuccessful in finding a wife…. probably worse…

  • Nathan636

    This is such a terribly hard topic for me to stomach. I’m gay and Catholic, and I love my faith so much. The only thing hard for me is actually being gay. I want to be accepted so badly. My parents don’t approve of me and I feel like a shame to mankind…I want to do what’s best for my relationship with god…but I hate the thought of being so alone.

    If I wasn’t made for reproduction, why was I put here at all? I mean that IS the reason, as far as I can tell and have been told, that homosexuality is not accepted in the faith. Why am I here then? What’s my purpose

    I just don’t see why god would do that to anybody…I can live a chaste life, I’d gladly do that for the one who died for me! But to live my life without that one special person I can turn to? Its just…agonizing for me to think about.

    I just honestly feel like there’s no compromise, and I feel like i don’t belong anywhere. Society wants me to make my homosexuality my entire identity, which is stupid. But I feel like my faith tells me.basically to deny myself. I’m just so lost…

    Sorry for this lengthy, unhelpful comment. I’ve just never been able to really talk about this issue. Prates would be greatly appreciated…

    • Maybesmithwasabadidea

      You’re not alone, so don’t feel that you are. And just remember: mankind was not created to reproduce like the other animals might have. Mankind was created to glorify God, and share in his love. That is why you were created. Please don’t degrade yourself. You’re a child of God, which is kind of awesome, if you ask me. Regardless of sexual orientation.

      I should know, being the same as you.

    • Tometernal

      I’m with you Nathan.  I am also confused.  I am Catholic and gay as well.

      Secular estimates say that somewhere between 4 and 10 percent of the population (in the US) is gay.  Using the 4% estimate, that would mean there are 12 million gay men and women in the US alone.  Obviously not all are Catholic.  

      However, I believe the Church attempts to make its teaching universal (“catholic”) and apply to mankind.  The church’s teaching is clear in not condemning homosexuals but also saying they must refrain from a physical relationship (sex) with someone of the same sex.

      Therefore, and here comes my confusion, is God asking these 12 million not to have a partner of the same sex with whom they can have a physical relationship?  That seems to me to be a very basic desire.   The other 288 million can but these cannot?

      I am not doubting the Catholic church’s teaching.  But it seems hard to see how God would ask such a thing. 

      Again, I’m not taking a postion but I am confused.

    • sp77

      I don’t want to say something pithy like, “I’ll pray for you, Nathan636.”  Although, I will.   You sound like someone who is searching for Jesus and searching for truth and because of that, despite mistakes you may make or loneliness you may feel (welcome to humanity!) you’re going to be alright.  It’s going to get better.  Your post emphasizes how much we all need to love each other.  The ”agape” kind of love.

    • DarkTemplar

      Man, I totally understand, I’m in the same spot too. Never the less I still faithful to God pray to him go to holy Mass, worship God pretty much, and I do it the best I can. Bottom line, we reach heaven by believing in Jesus Christ as our savior and Lord almighty, and also through good works. A faith without good works is a dead faith. :) Don’t worry man, we are all sinners and I’m pretty sure that your sexual orientation is not God’s main concern about you. He is a loving father and he loves you no matter how you are. :) Blessing to you my friend.

  • Rogermichaeldryden

    What a witness! I admire your courage.

  • Bobby

    One problem I have is she says John Lennon was “kind of an idiot.”…

  • guest

    I have a sibling who is gay and they have taken the same stance. It has been extremely difficult because they have the same desire to have a family as anyone else. But they realized that this is what God has handed him in order to become holy. Just as others have been given their own crosses to bear. The understanding that they have come to know has brought them closer than any one of us because they suffer with Christ and lean on him for support and love. 
    Even as a heterosexual, I have come to learn, through my siblings example, that the only love that can quench my thirst is Gods. It is our duty to show others this love. With that being said, I pray constantly for those with same sex attraction because it is very difficult to understand and the biases of others can cause much hurt. While I do still take the stance of the Church, and do believe that others should come to find the truth in her, we cannot criticize those who have chosen a different path. Being something that is so personal and emotional, I cannot blame those who take the path of same-sex relationships. It is every individuals choice to choose how they live it.
    However, if we are to call ourselves Catholic, we cannot go against the teachings of the Church. It is what we profess and what we should be aligned to. If don’t believe in it’s teachings than what do we believe?

  • Chester

    I appreciate the openness of the author, but bigotry is present within Catholic communities. To represent it as a Shangri La for individuals dealing with homosexuality is creating an illusion. Hypothetically, someone can read this and, to no fault of their own, go to Catholic sources that do not reflect the above; their fears and and possible loneliness would only be confirmed. Do not get me wrong, testifying to healing through Jesus Christ is crucial, but we need to call a spade a spade. We need to keep people in the Church accountable for its weaknesses.

    • enness

      Chester, that’s fair.  On one hand I don’t think it is a lot to expect people to read things like the Catechism for themselves and filter what they encounter through that lens to see if it holds up, rather than put everything on the community and take it absolutely at face value, but I pray that we truly live out our faith and get in their way as little as possible on their journey toward truth and beauty (we are a hospital of sinners, after all).  Let’s do our best to keep the windows clean so the light can come through clearly.

  • Maybesmithwasabadidea

    My life. I hope I can keep it up.

  • BJ

    The author should realize that the Catholic Church has two  positions concerning homosexuality that he does not seem to be aware of.

    The Catholic church teaches that there is nothing inherently wrong with homosexuality, in terms of a person’s attraction to the same gender. 

    However, acting on carnal desires by having sex as a homosexual is incredibly sinful and is a mortal offense on the soul. Sex was created as an act between man and wife.

    The author should realize that he will always be accepted as a homosexual. God loves everyone, regardless of orientation. But the author will never find acceptance for homosexual fornication.

     There can be no rationalization of sex as appropriate outside of the bond between husband and wife. So the Catholic church teaches us, from the Pope, through the bishops, priests, and the congregation.

    • Maybesmithwasabadidea

      Out of curiosity, I’d like to ask where you draw your sources in saying that the church says there is nothing wrong with the homosexual attraction. Yes, the church says that homosexuals should be treated with care and respect. However, in one of his encyclicals, I’m 99% sure Pope John Paul himself said homosexuality is an intrinsic moral defecit, or something to that effect. Coorect me if I’m wrong, but do you mean that while the church says that homosexual orientation is “wrong” and unnatural, the feelings themsevles are not sinful? Because this is the best of my understanding of it.

      • Andrew

        Yes, you are correct.  Homosexuality is an intrinsically disordered inclination.  Catechism of the Catholic Church (rev.ed), 2358.  

        The attraction is no more sinful then an attraction an unmarried heterosexual person has as long as you don’t dwell on the feelings or act on them.

        • Maybesmithwasabadidea

          Okay, yes. I was just a bit unsure of what you were saying, and what I had heard.

  • Kyle

    The sexual activity between two individuals does not define the love between two individuals. Family is the natural end of love, children are the natural end of the family. Only a male and female can become one flesh (completing the human reproductive system)  and therefore can actualize a marriage. Gay marriage, a recent issue, is representative of the fact that we have lost culturally what marriage means. This is also evident in the staggering divorce rates. See also Robert George, Clash of Orthodoxies

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=824805132 Andrew Arriaga

    First of all, this is an argument for voluntary celibacy, not celibacy imposed by doctrinal systems.

    Second, the testimony is not by a mature, experienced well-adjusted adult but a young person influenced by zeal. This zeal has led him to form a snap judgement of John Lennon, as “kind of an idiot”. This is revealing.

    Lennon, by the way, co-wrote a very insightful song asking about all the lonely people – “where do they all come from?” The powerful accusation in the song is they are produced by a Roman Catholic mentality that this life is a valley of tears, so suck it up.

    Methinks the young man “sinning” in the locker room doth protest too much. But can I blame him? You all have given him no other path to self worth.

    • enness

      I’m sorry Andrew but most celibacy is voluntary (I’m trying hard to think of an example otherwise, maybe in the third world).  Even we can’t make a person be celibate if they really don’t want to. 

      I can see why the author made that comment, although perhaps ‘idiot’ was too strong.  Life is a valley of tears but that isn’t all there is to the theology.  Granted, loneliness may be a real problem and let’s not forget that.  Thank you.

  • Kimberley Miller

    Thank you for sharing.  I will keep you in my prayers.

  • Tiffany

    I, personally, find the comparison of homosexuality to the consumption of sand as sustenance illegitimate. They are in no way related and, therefore, cannot be justly compared.
    If a child ate too much sand, they could suffer severe health complications or die if they did not receive medical care. However, having a sexual preference of the same-sex will not kill you nor injure you physically; it is the stigma and homophobia which may push other HUMANS to physically violate someone.
    My personal belief is that love is blind and is no less valuable because it applies to two beings of the same gender. I do not believe that a homosexual marriage could be destructive and I do not perceive it as wrong. I do not intend to say this should be the opinion of everyone as everyone’s opinions will differ on such a controversial topic. However, I believe it is a personal choice and it is not our job, as fellow human beings, to condemn those who differ from us.

  • diana kes

    Of course you should be entitled to your own lifestyle choice.
    BUT, your decision is predicated on your belief in a God, and the supremacy of his laws. What about the gay people who don’t ascribe to your beliefs? Should they have their right to marriage withheld, because of your religion?

    America isn’t a theocracy; we live in a society governed by secular laws. Like it or not, people are free to do many things expressly forbidden in the Bible: eat shrimp, gather sticks on Sunday, wear mixed fabrics, etc.

    So please, Christians, I beg of you. You can have your religious freedom, but likewise, don’t force the burden of your self-imposed moral code onto others. Catholic churches shouldn’t be forced to marry gays, but in exchange, the state shouldn’t be prevented from doing so. Our laws should be based on the promotion of individual freedom, safety, health, and happiness, not your arbitrary ancient teachings.

    • Jared

      To say the Catholic Church has not promoted freedom, safety, health, and happiness is unfair.  I would refer you to a beautiful video, called “Epic” Commercial found at http://www.catholicscomehome.org/

      • Jared

        I should have said, “to imply” that the Catholic Church is not interested in promoting freedom…

        • diana kes

          My point is, in a secular society, actions that a particular religion bans should not automatically be forced onto non-believers. However, people of that religion should of course independently live their lives as they see fit.

          Murder and stealing hurt other people, and so in addition to the Bible defining these as sins, our laws have also banned them.

           However, eating shrimp, wearing mixed fabrics, and picking up sticks on Sunday do not hurt anyone. These are arbitrary, victimless rules specific to your religion. And so they are not illegal, despite being SPECIFICALLY banned in the bible.
          I would argue that homosexuality falls under this category. You believe it offends your God, but many behaviors you might find sinful are allowed under our secular laws. I would compare it to divorce: clearly opposed by Jesus, legal nonetheless. Why? Because it’s objectively necessary for individual freedom. And because America is not a theocracy.

          • Mitch

            Good point Diana, but the government has a duty to make laws that will protect its citizens from all sorts of dangers, and homosexual acts are dangerous to the physical (and mental) health of both people involved. The reason Catholics believe that “homosexual marriages” should not exist legally is that they actually so not exist. It’s like trying to make a four-sided triangle: it just doesn’t work. As well, the government should adhere its laws to the standard of objective truth, in order to guide its citizens to living in the truth, because living in the truth is what is best for all humankind.I agree that there shouldn’t be a law forcing what you call “arbitrary” religious rules on everyone, but homsexual “marriage” and acts go against who we are as humans, as male and female. It just simply is unnatural, and disordered, not just because God thinks so, but because it goes totally against who we are, and going against the truth always has negative implications. In the case of homosexuality, the implications are varied and grave, because of the greatness of sexuality, and they span the physical, emotional, mental, and even spiritual realms. In short, homosexuality is unhealthy, and laws should be passed discouraging it for the sake of all.

    • enness

      Diana, again we haven’t solved the reality problem I mentioned above.  Let’s say I tell you I don’t believe in green apples, and since you don’t have one handy to show me, and I don’t live near a grocery store that has them (another imperfect analogy — pretend for a moment) you try to convince me with arguments that they exist, but I refuse.  Is the color of an apple in any way changed by what I believe?  Nope.  Makes no difference.  So the question becomes, what is true and what is not?  Not, is there such a thing as truth.

      I’ve seen the second argument a lot.  It tends to come from people playing armchair theologian and completely ignoring the New Testament.  Mosaic Law had a context.  Allow me to refer you to three relevant passages, Matt. 15
      - http://www.catholic.org/bible/book.php?id=47&bible_chapter=15

      Matt. 19 -
       http://www.catholic.org/bible/book.php?id=47&bible_chapter=19

      Luke 13 -
      http://www.catholic.org/bible/book.php?id=49&bible_chapter=13

      Here’s one that, while not specifically about this issue, is pertinent to the larger one at hand: http://www.catholic.org/bible/book.php?id=47&bible_chapter=14
      (“Nothing new under the sun”…arbitrary ancient teaching, indeed!)

  • Kathryn

    I’m Catholic and while I understand his viewpoint and understand where he is coming from I have to say that equating homosexuality with having some kind of condition is a little ridiculous.  I feel like I have to point out that in the Bible there are a lot of things that are said to be illegal or sacreligious and a lot of them are ridiculous.  The Catholic Church says many of these are outdated but they pick and choose which are deemed to be this way.  I think that homosexuality is one of these.  I think that you should be able to love who you want regardless of gender.

  • Rachael

    Thank you for sharing that. the perfect explanation.

  • Guest

    Wow. I want to thank this brave and honest man for this. Some of his descriptions (The Church and sand, amazing) are what I am going to use next time I am asked why I disagree with homosexuality, and why my Catholic faith disagrees with it. 

    Thank you. And I’ll be praying for you. :)

  • Aurora

    Wow. Wow. Wow. I am not catholic. And I’m bisexual. And I have sex with both sexes. I started reading this and nearly wanted to smash in this computer. Then I kept reading. And although I fundamentally disagree with just about everything here – I do believe that sex with the same sex is not simply like eating sand but actually isn’t against god’s creations because mainly, our brains are so extremely plastic and sexual plasticity has been proven, not to mention although same sex intercourse does not fulfill our most animalistic biological need – that being reproduction, it does fulfill our most human needs – those are love, intimacy, closeness and pleasure with each other. But I mean, aside from the fact I don’t agree with the majority of this, I just had to say… I have SO much respect for the person that can say “I am this way, my god does not believe that it is good for me, but it’s the way I am. And I am willing to do ANYTHING for my god even if that means denying myself fundamental life experiences”. It is impressive, because it indicates such a contentment with life and with oneself. It is this persons’ reason for living. Like they said “Something not worth living or dying for, or even getting up in the morning for.”  This is their reason for getting up in the morning. And how can I condemn someone for that? So many of us have no reason to fight anymore, myself included. So although I don’t agree… can’t agree, can’t believe in religion… I have an immense respect for the joy, love, contentment and reason that this person has in their life. Because no one has that anymore. and if it keeps you going, that is all that matters. So thank you for giving me a reason to understand your world better. So that next time I go to say something about the catholic church I can remember your story, and how you aren’t ignorant or bigots, but rather you are faithful, honest and the EXACT SAME as me. You are human. Thank you for showing me this. 

  • Valerie

    You, sir, are an inspiration to all young Catholics. Bravo to you for your courage! Bravo!

  • Jsmith

    http://front.moveon.org/two-lesbians-raised-a-baby-and-this-is-what-they-got/#.TthRwlPve4P.facebook

    Sorry, but nothing will convince me that ANYONE has the right to tell someone who to love. Open up your minds people. Life outside is so much better

    • Joe

      Jsmith:

      What about a consenting brother and sister?  If they love each other (and, I suppose, take precautions to not conceive a child that will likely have health defects), who is to say that they should not be free to marry?

      What of a consenting couple in which one party is 40 and the other is 13?  Who is to say what is right and wrong in love?  Where do you draw the line?

  • Kenn0327

    if god truly loves us he would be happy and accepting of any of his children no matter who they love be it a man or a woman.
    your loving hetero friend.

  • Wheelsofjoy

    Love it!! Very Brave indeed. Please keep it up!! We need more like you speak out and live your faith in truth and love! You will be in my prayers!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/tanis.daum Tanis Faye Daum

    amazing article it is nice to see this point of view!!

  • Ajadams1

    Mary,

    While I enjoyed reading this (as a fellow gay catholic), I have to disagree with many things that your gay catholic had to say. He had a completely different experience with the church, and probably comes from a much more liberal part of the country. Here in the Midwest, it is not so “warm and fuzzy” as he made this article.

    Being a gay catholic is hard. It is grueling and we are tested and prodded every day. I went to catholic school and graduated from a catholic university. Every day was a test and we make it through and keep our morals strong and our head held high, even as the tormentors spray us with words of disgust and hate.

    The only compassion I received from my congregation when I was struggling with coming out was from my priest. He supported me and believed in me and my ability to make the journey and be who God created me to be. I did not choose this, though I’m told constantly that I did. Believe me, I would choose my God and Heterosexuality if I could; but that would be going against the way He created me.

    I am just one of the many homosexual Catholics here, and we do not see bigottry or hate. We see ignorance and fear  of something that is misunderstood by an older generation. Both of these things have been the cause of great tragedies in our world’s history at the hands of the Catholic Church. But that is a whole different topic. The point I’m trying to make is simple. Homosexuals want equal rights in the eye’s of the government. We ask for the rights that all people receive when they get married (in the eyes of the government) such as insurance, tax benefits, and ability to make spousal decisions for each other through sickness and in health. We aren’t asking the church to recognize it as the church has nothing to do with those benefits of being considered “Married” in the eyes of the government.

    In closing, all I ask is that you love us for who we are, as we love you for who you are. Also, the catholic church needs to realize we are not fighting to be married within its’ walls, just married in the eyes of the government so that we may have the same civil rights as our friends, families, and neighbors. Yes, there are plenty of radicals on both sides of the issue who want “this, that, and a wiffel ball bat”; but at the end of the day we just want to be considered as people and given equal rights.

    I saw a video today of Michelle Bachman explaining how homosexuals have equal rights. She then went on to say we have equal rights to marry the opposite sex. Here again is just a simple example of an ignorant statement by a pronounced religious person. Yet again I stray and this is probably another conversation for a different day.

    I wish you well and thank you for a wonderful article and progressive debate.

    • enness

      I appreciate that you make the distinction between the actual sacrament of marriage and the legal trappings of civil marriage.  Unfortunately, many do not and will not, and I think that to simply confer “marriage” on said couples will sow great confusion.  This is not to say that I am opposed to the liberalization of the rights you list above (hospital visitation was one you didn’t explicitly say that particularly strikes my heart) — but then, I wouldn’t mind if they were for other people who are not considered married either, like roommates, to minimize the number of people in this world who have no one to guard their interests or who go uncared for in their time of need.

  • Bill

    It would seem to me that this young person is courageous and seems to understand the cross that needs bearing. In reading all the posts I am reassured that there can be reasonable debate on such polarized issues. The one thing I would like to offer is the understanding that all sin, in some way, is disordered love.  If  God is “Love rightly ordered” then sin becomes our choosing to ignore or turn away from God. This will cost us the promise of eternity with God if we do not repent in this lifetime. The argument that we can live however we wish and only belief will be required of us is sadly lacking in perspective and is part of the lie that is so pervasive in our cultures today. I pray that everyone will pursue rightly ordered love in both their minds and hearts, and in so doing find God. We are all called to love God fully AND to love our neighbors as ourselves. This implies a communal aspect to our love that forces us to reach out in assistance and correction where it is needed. Peace.

  • Rosebush411

    Homosexuality is a sin in the bible and it is against Catholic teachings. This is true for manifold reasons, explained very eloquently by a number of respondents to this article. No matter how enlightened as a society we become, we cannot change the words written in the holy scripture.

    However, what about the other sins that we all make each day? No where does it say that homosexuality is a deadly sin, nor does it say that it is on the same level as murder or theft. It is up to God to decide what to do with those who engage in fornication or same-sex relationships. We cannot judge – the bible tells us that we cannot and should not judge our fellow man. Instead, we should try to love everyone equally and focus on our own sins and our own paths.

    If the Catholic church will not allow same-sex marriage within its walls, than that is her business. However these religious arguments against same-sex marriage have nothing to do with the legal world. The Jews believe that eating milk and meat together is wrong, yet there is no law against bacon cheeseburgers? Catholics believe that fornication is wrong, but there cannot be a law disallowing young, consenting adults from engaging in this act. The law needs to take into account no religious, but rather logic and legal ramifications.

    There are a huge number of benefits offered to married couples, benefits which homosexual partners living together in a long-term commitment do not qualify for simply because one particular religion believes they should not engage in a “sinful” act. Religion has no place in how the government assigns taxes, how employers distribute health care, or how inheritance laws distribute assets. Same-sex marriage should be legal to allow those who elect to remain in monogamous, same-sex relationships for long periods of time the same benefits that the rest of us receive.

    They’re being together does not threaten your institution of marriage, as you are not at all involved in their union, just as you’re not involved in my marriage. A man who steals a car does not threaten God’s plan, he simply threatens his own afterlife. God is the one to judge, not us. Let us not concern ourselves with the sins of others just to distract from our own errs. The law and religion are separate, completely, so let’s keep ourselves from mixing the two. I’ve yet to hear one good argument as to why, legally (not morally), gay marriage should not be allowed. If anyone could provide one, I would welcome it wholeheartedly. And if homosexual activity is against your beliefs, that is fine. Be like the orthodox Jew who elects not to eat the cheeseburger, but don’t get upset for someone else enjoying it because his opinions and views are different.

    God teaches us to be compassionate and caring. Love your fellow man. Do not judge him – let God be God and do his work. Church and state are separate, but unless you are the pope, you must just live your own life and your own beliefs and do not stop others from having their free will. God gave us free will for a reason, so that we can make our own decisions and chose to live a moral life. Jesus loved the sinners and showed them compassion; he did not burn them and chastise them for their decisions. We are all God’s creatures. Now let’s start acting like it.

  • A gay nerd

    So gay people should just live alone because the bible says so?  If you want to live your life alone, that’s fine.  Because guess what?!  It’s your life, and your not harming anyone.  But don’t think your better than gay people who choose not to remain celibate, and don’t force them to live the same way as you.  I also believe the bible mentions that living alone is not good for the soul.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Joseph-R-McGookin-Jr/1320832484 Joseph R McGookin Jr

    The main thing that the church teaches is to hate the sin, but love the sinner. Also there is no sin if you don’t commit it.  If one has an inclination that might offend GOD big time, but doesn’t commit the act, that person is eligible to come face to face with our Lord and live an eternal life in Heaven.

  • Pingback: How being too objective can lead us away from Love | Kevin Aimes

  • FionaS

    I really enjoyed reading this. I am a lesbian, but I am in no way religious. I do have Catholic family members who are very accepting of the fact I am gay, I don’t deny this. I don’t have a problem with religion, and am completely against gays who think every religious person is hating on them. My nly issue is this. I live in Scotland, and it is not a predominantly Catholic country. Infact, it is not very religious full stop. This is one religion’s viewpoint. And it is mainly Catholics or Muslims who are protesting against legalizing gay marriage. Why should the wole country be dictated by these two people? If marriage is all about religion, then how come straight athiest couples are allowed to get married in churches is they so wish? The whole thing seems very hypocritical. If you’re straight and don’t believe in God, you can still get married. But not if yu’re gay and religious. I think everyone has the right to their own beliefs, but I dn’t see why their beliefs shoud dictate other people’s lifestyles. If anyone has an answer to this, I would gladly listen because i really am interested.

  • Theotokos19

    If anyone who would like to read a very articulate explanation of the reasons behind the Catholic Church’s teaching that homosexuality is evil, follow link. It is an article by one of my professors who specializes in Bioethics. 
    http://www.catholic.org/politics/story.php?id=31195

  • Rebel69

    Jesus came to pay the price for our sins.. so we can neither earn or not earn our way to God.  so it should not be based on our sin or absence of sin. . I understand the fact of children being the product or outcome or image of a man and women’s love, but love is love and it has many different forms. Just because I love my children doesnt mean that I love my husband more or less, just differently.  That is why God our Father has given us the Holy Spirit. to help us each to decern what is right for each of us in our Father’s eyes. it is not for me to say what is in another person’s heart, but for God to. now with that being said, we still need laws, not so much for two agreeing adults with equal minds to be kept apart, but for thoes who are more knowing than others not to abuse apond others, such as an adult with a child and other siturations that would be of the abusive nature. God sees us for who we are and loves us for who we could be. Does anyone not fit into that. We are all short of the glory, and we sit and judge others, which is a sin in itself by the way.. we are called to love and let God rule. how is it right to life with a person that you will never feel in your heart is the one you are to share your soul with just because of their gender. And how is it wrong to live with the person you can give yourself to in true love based on the gender.. AND with absentance.. even to think it is a sin.. so think on that one.. lust is lust wether you are with the same gender or not.. weither you are married or not..
    just because something is not right for you gives you no right to say its not right for someone else. before taking the splinter out of someone else’s eyes, please remove your beam out of your own..

  • Misslisa731

    Thank you so much for posting this. Many of us are being persecuted on a daily basis by those who refuse to accept us because of our beliefs- ironically enough the hate comes from the most “open-minded” of people.

  • Ahlbina

    wow.  incredible Faith, humility, discipline, and courage.  I commend that young woman!  Thank you for sharing her story!

  • Tometernal

    I have been a Catholic all my life and intend to remain Catholic.  I am also gay, a decision I too never made.  I was, as some have said, “made that way.”

    I’m not sure I understand God’s reasoning here.  Not that I have to because He is, after all, God.  Nonetheless, I earnestly try but it is not easy.

    Here’s the problem.  I believe the celibate life is indeeed rich and satisfying.  A celibate priest is much better equiped to serve many more people as a celibate.  I have no problem accepting that celibate life is a great service to God and man.   However, in the heterosexual world it is a “calling” that one chooses as St. Paul aptly states. In fact, he says, it is “preferred” over married life in order to serve others.  But Paul never said it is forced on someone.  It would be a hard case to make to say to some heterosexuals that you are “made” to be celibate.  ”Sorry but that’s your destiny”, without invoking their will.

    That is, of course, what is happening here. There is no choice.  You gays WILL accept a celibate life.  That is the natural result of the Church’s teaching.

    Again I am not rejecting the Church’s teaching but it is difficult, very, very difficult to understand.

    And I am sorry to say, at 51 years of age, it does not get easier. I have earnestly tried my best at the celibate life (even contemplating priesthood but did not feel it was my calling)  If you do remain Catholic and try to conform to the Church’s teahing (as I have attempted to do all my life), it still is difficult not having someone you want close to you.

    O, Lord, please help us to undertand you will….

  • Guest

    There are several people that said gay marriage can lead to an adoptive family, that it true, however, If a gay person would like a child they should adopt, but it is quite possible for a single parent to adopt a child. You don’t need two partners for adoption or to make a family. The Church merely says that participating in homosexual sex is wrong. A family is never wrong. If two celibate gay men (or women) lived together and adopted a child, that would be okay, as long as there was no gay sex going on otherwise. Adoption is a wonderful gift to single people as well

  • Gybarra

    Be excepting? yet he calls other religions shabby and lazy (religions that mean a lot to others), he calls John Lennon an idiot, and says “gay marriage doesn’t fit”. Riiiight… be excepting…like he said.  I’m not even gay and his ignorance gave me a laugh.

    • CJ Hainley

      I don’t accept your spelling.  And he accepts those religions, he just views them as wrong.

      And he just happens to be right about John Lennon.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=137000791 Matt Sciba

    I commend you for your courage.  You are in my prayers.

  • Ashley Ferwerda

    I don’t know if this is going to sound right so please don’t think that I am homophobic or that I hate gays, lesbians, or bisexuals because I don’t. One of my friends from swim team is a lesbian. While I don’t agree with her lifestyle, I still love her and I would support her in anything else.

    I am a Christian. I believe in God and His Son, Jesus. I believe He died for our sins and I believe in the Trinity. I believe God loves everyone on this planet – that includes the murderers, the rapists, the abusers. It includes the abused, the murdered, and the raped. He created us all, and loves us more deeply than we could ever understand. That said, He does have rules. Those who chose to murder, rape, and abuse will be forgiven by God if they genuinely repent, but they still must face the consequences of their actions here in the mortal world. What God chooses to do with them, I could not say, nor is it for anyone on Earth to say.

    I also believe that God created marriage as a unity of one man and one woman. The simple anatomy backs this up even if you don’t believe in the Bible or you’re not a Christian. Therefore, I believe that homosexuality is a sin. What I don’t believe is that this sin is any individual’s fault. Let me explain. 

    Sin came into the world when man fell in the Garden of Eden. When Adam and Eve ate the Forbidden Fruit (I’m not going to go into the whole who-fell-first argument), they gave Satan a foothold and opened the door to all his lies and manipulation. From the start of our race, sin has always been in our lives. One original sin gave way to a host of others that we did not create. Humans did not create the sin of homosexuality. Satan did. Satan will create whatever sin and tell whatever lie he has to in order to separate us from our Heavenly Father. We did not create the sin of homosexuality. It is not our fault when or if we find ourselves desiring one of our own sex. Nor is this a new sin. 

    I firmly believe that homosexuality is a sin, and it is wrong. I do not believe all homosexuals want to be that way, either. And while I don’t agree with that lifestyle nor can I support it, it does not mean I don’t love them, regardless. God loves all His creation.  Who am I to say that any of them shouldn’t be loved? He created me and I know He loves me. If I were to deny a gay man or woman love, then I would have to believe that God didn’t love them, either. But that’s not what I believe. I have known and loved homosexuals – one was a gay man, and one was a lesbian woman. I won’t deny that their choices made me uncomfortable when I see it face to face, I love my friends dearly. 

    While I don’t believe that homosexuality is right, I don’t believe that it is an intentional sin. But I do believe it is possible to change. That belief may earn me some enmity, but I won’t apologize for it. With God, anything is possible, and any sin – whether intentional or not – can be overcome. 

    God does not give us what we can handle. He helps us handle what we are given.

  • L85d16

    Usually, even a non-Christian knows something about the earth, the heavens, and the other elements of this world, about the motion and orbit of the stars and even their size and relative positions, about the predictable eclipses of the sun and moon, the cycles of the years and the seasons, about the kinds of animals, shrubs, stones, and so forth, and this knowledge he holds to as being certain from reason and experience. Now, this is a disgraceful and dangerous things for an infidel to hear a Christian, presumable giving the meaning of Holy Scripture, talking nonsense on these subjects; and we should take all means to prevent such an embarrassing situation, in which people show up vast ignorance in a Christian and laugh it to scorn. The shame is not so much that an ignorant individual is derided, but that people outside the household of faith think our sacred writers held such opinions, and, to the great loss of those for whose salvation we toil, the writers of the Scripture are criticized and rejected as unlearned men. If they find a Christian mistaken in a field which they themselves know well and hear him maintaining his foolish opinions about our books, how are they going to believe those books in matters concerning the resurrection of the dead, the hope of eternal life, and the kingdom of heaven, when they think their pages are full of falsehoods on facts which they themselves have learnt from experience and the light of reason? Reckless and incompetent expounders of Holy Scripture bring untold trouble and sorrow on their wiser brethren when they are caught in one of their mischievous false opinions and are taken to task by those who are not bound by the authority of our sacred books. For then, to defend their utterly foolish and obviously untrue statements, they will try to call upon Holy Scripture for proof and even recite from memory many passages which they think support their position, although they understand neither what they say nor the things about which they make assertion. (De Genesi ad litteram, Book I, Chapter 19)

  • Ranecain

    Such courage and vision…stay strong Mary

  • Tyler

    Thank you for sharing this, Mary. It came up in five of my new feed items on Facebook this morning, ranging from friends I met studying abroad in Rome to someone with whom I live. Blessed are the feet that carry the Gospel (Rom 10:15)… and the hands that type it onto blogs.

  • Cesca

    I am a woman who is attracted to women, and I totally agree.   I choose to live out chastity, and I know that if I didn’t, the woman I was with would become an idol to me and she could never love me as much as God.  I wouldn’t trade the Eucharist for anything. 

  • L.J

    I wonder if this author knows about the Courage apostolate of the Catholic Church (for people with Same Sex Attraction)?  Or EnCourage (for his family members)?    http://couragerc.net/

  • Ae_95

    The part where he said that he can meet God in the church for 10 minutes and pour his heart out is what struck me most. I am a Baptist and according to the Bible, you can find God anywhere you want. God is always there for you and listens to you. My view on homosexuality and my church’s view is we love the sinner but hate the sin. In the Bible, God destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah for the wicked lifestyle. He gave them chances to repent, I know that, but they refused to. I have some bisexual, gay, and lesbian friends but I don’t hate them or treat them different. Too many so called “christians” out there say every homosexuals are going to Hell. That’s not true at all! There’s a “religion” out there called Calvinism that says that there are people who are predestined to go to Heaven which is COMPLETELY FALSE. I know of people who are saved who have backslidden, i guess you could call it, and have turned to that lifestyle. Does it mean they lose their salvation? NO! God still loves you no matter what…He loves EVERYONE. He loves the serial killer who has killed and raped many woman, children, and men. He loves the man who beats his wife every night. That’s why He sent His Son to die on the cross for our sins that we would commit. I agree, this lifestyle is hard and definitely not easy to do.  But to all those people out there that think Christians hate homosexuals, the people who do, might not be Christians. It says in the Bible that we should love like Christ loved. Idk who will read this, but God loves everyone and He gives many second chances. I know from experience. He is a GREAT God.

  • Stephanie

    Wow!  I’m so impressed and extremely proud of this man.  I don’t think I’ve heard so much truth spoken on this topic before.  God bless him!

  • cindy

    That is a lovely reflection. It is great to hear from a gay, praticing Catholic. Very inspirational and courageous!

  • Bjorkman_kristin

    WOW.  He is a testiment to all of us in what is really important in life. 

  • lovingthetruth

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts. The love of Jesus surpasses all other kinds of love. It sounds like you have found this out. When people take time to sit with Jesus especially in the Eucharist they will find this out as well. How often I hear from married people how lonely marriage can be, no matter how hard we try we can never fulfill a persons need to be loved, but God can and does. The world does not want people to know this truth either. God created us and did not abandon us…he loves us so much that he sent his son and the Holy Spirit to help and guide us to true happiness and a life full of LOVE that only he can provide. You are blessed to know this and to know how he will continue to help you in all areas of your life. Peace and Happy Advent.

  • Guest

    This was an awesome article. I especially loved what he said about everyone having to bear burdens in this life. This is so incredibly true. Just because something is difficult and against what we want doesn’t make it wrong and in need of change. Are we that weak that if a rule is hard we must change it?
    I’m a Catholic who is madly in love with Jesus and my faith. I also have many gay friends who I love dearly. The Church’s stand against gay marriage is a hard one and it sometimes hurts my heart to support it, especially because it can affect so many who aren’t of my belief system. But I see the reasoning and I have to support Truth. I simply encourage that we all love each other and try to understand each other. No more hate from either side. That just makes us all bitter. 

  • Kevin

    The way I see it, is people should have the right to love who ever they want. If God made them that way, then there shouldn’t be anything wrong with them loving who they were made to love. The main problem I have with the whole thing is that a gay/lesbian couple can’t get the benefits of being a married couple unless they stay with each other for a very long time. I had a teacher in high school who has been with his partner for 25 years, and he told me that even after 15 years of being together, he was still not allowed to visit him in the hospital or combine insurances, or anything that married couples would be allowed to do without question. I am Catholic, and I completely understand this whole matter, but I just want them to have the rights like every other person in this world. Yes, they might not be able to have children, and they might not be able to have sex the way God intended, but keeping them from being together, and being legally in love won’t change that. Plus, this opens up a huge necessary window for the adoption side of things. There are plenty of children who don’t have a family whatsoever, and allowing gay couples to be together legally, I think, would really help the adoption world. We also don’t have to call it marriage if that’s a problem. Call it a partnership or something. All I want is equality, and we all know that God wants everyone to be treated equally as well. God bless, everyone.

    • Guest

      Just because God made people a certain way doesn’t mean it means they should be able to act on every impulse that comes from the way we were made. God didn’t make us perfect. He gave us all trials to live through. The idea that “I was made this way so its perfect” is ridiculous. I was made with depression and so when I’m in my slumps I just wanna lie around and be messy as heck. But that’s not okay. I need to work through it and its made me a better person for it. 

      • Butterflytoes

        true no one is perfect but note that each and every single time you judge another person, such as the pro-gay writers on this board you have sinned. We are ineveitable sinners. We also are not allowed to rank sins, that’s G-d’s job not ours. So why not just let people make their own decisions, based on the spiritual lives they come from. Lord knows we can’t base a countrys legal system off of religious dogma. Let them get married, let them adopt, let them live. No as humans if we acted on every impulse we would be in big trouble, but sexual orientation is so much bigger than an impulse. Orientation effects us right to the core of our personality development, spiritual lives, everything, so to call it an impulse is completely unfair. Straingt people do not decide to have sex with oposite gender based on an impulse, you know this very well, very weak argument, as per usual with anti-gay people.

        • guest

          I think you should stop and think before you so quickly call someone out for judging others. I’ve never once judged here. Stating my opinion is not a judgement and I am just as entitled to mine as you believe you are to yours. And I’m sorry if it offends you that I desire to share the truth. I want every person on this planet to make it to heaven so I’m going to share what I believe is the truth in reaching heaven. I care about people. All people. And I do in fact have a lot of gay friends. Sharing my opinion and belief doesn’t mean I love the people of opposing opinions any less. But it sure isn’t going to make me shut up. I’m passionate about what I believe. I won’t force that on anyone but there is absolutely no reason I should stop voicing my views. And if you’d stop and read what people are saying, we aren’t anti-gay. We don’t believe in gay sexual relations. If you can’t understand that subtly you might want to read up on it before throwing out irrelevant statements. 

  • bb2345

    this is so….contradictory and circular its hilarious. nice try.

  • Brwsrdn

    Well written and with courage…not sure if anyone could have said it better, except Jesus of course…

  • Cbm001

    WOW. I’m incredibly touched by this testimony. He’s in my prayers and I hope that the Catholic Church (ie: its members) continue to strive to live up to the high standards of truth and genuine love. This post not only challenges me to live more authentically as a Catholic but also reminds me, as the author points out, how beautiful and MEANingful are lives are because of the gift of this faith. 

  • Butterflytoes

    Can’t agree with this. I am Catholic, very left leaning, and I believe everyone has the right to love, and that this love help’s us grow into the person G-D designed us to be. I think a moral relationship is possible regardless of straight or gay. I would hate to think that you would deny a loving, supportive relationship just because you are gay. Call that relationship a marriage if you want-that is a side point. Having your heart connected to another persons is a huge part of G-d’s plan. G-d in giving us His Son Jesus Christ removed the legalism from spiritual life, does that mean we have no rules? No of course not, but it means that we are not to judge, only He can judge us, define sin for us. Please reconsider your stance on celibacy, this may be the path for you at this point in your life, but propogating this vision of homosexual life is damaging. In the town I live in a gay Catholic boy just recently commited suicide because he was so afraid he would have no one to love. So sad. His funeral was in a Catholic Church and a celebration of his life as a gay man. This pain is in no way a part of G-d’s plan. Embrace who you are, and be moral from there. Sure I will get to tonnes of fire and being told I am not a real Catholic because I wrote this, that is fine, the cards can lye where they land, because G-D does not care about the label I carry, he cares that I embrace His love and share it with others. I am Canadian, we very likely have different views on this in our country since praise the Lord, gay marriage is legal here!

    • Theo

      Why do you assume that sex = love and that living without sex = living without love? I have not had sex or wanted to have sex with the vast majority of people I love and am loved by. I disagree with the language you use: “…deny a loving, supportive relationship just because you are gay.” The Church is not against gay people having loving, supportive relationships with people of either sex. The Church is against anyone having a sexual relationship with a person of the same sex.

      • Butterflytoes

        I assumed that the person who wrote this was eloquently spoken enough to understand that LOVE is a source of great joy, strength and stability, and as adults yes for many people a form of that is sexual love. I really am concerned for the author of this article. It may seem heroic as an idea, but very lonely as a lifestyle. Life can be long to be alone throughout and painful, and I genuinely do not believe that this form of celibacy is a part of G-d’s plans at all. I truely do pray that this person will be open enough to review the plan if a change in circumstances should arise and he meets “Mr. Right”. I know being a Catholic teacher exactly what the Church teaching is on homosexuality, exactly what is was based on, and I as a Catholic do not believe in it. I am well educated, have multiple degrees in teaching religion and religious theology actually, and I just flat out do not agree with it, at all. We all have areas of our lives that we struggle with God over, we all have areas of our lives that we need to give over to Him to take care of. I hope this person keeps an open mind and heart in his journey of life and does not harden his heart to a loving, adult relationship. You can pick over my words and completely miss my sentiment all you want because you are so afraid that someone is saying something to corrupt your leagalistc view of Christianity, I can simply reply with go read your bible again, I think you might have missed a few important parts. I paraphrase, ”Take the log out of your own eye before you judge the twig in mine” Enjoy your reading.
        Question though really: why do you care? Are you afraid this person will go to hell? Are you afraid that the church might change something? Are you personally violated by someone-who is Catholic- not agreeing with a church teaching? I just try to understand the anti-gay people. I don’t understand what the basis is for the upset. There are people all over the world being treated with creulty, opressed, starving etc, and you are going to get yourself in a twist over someone being gay? Who cares?? In my circle of friends every third person is gay, it really is NOT that big a deal. They live moral, upright lives, and really truely are great people. I have worked with people who are gay parents (multiple couples) raising children…it has all been fine. So why pour yourself into this, and get your panties all in a bunch over this?
        I genuinely hope that the person who wrote this article will read this post and relaize there is a whole other life that he could be living. While he might compare gay marriage to eating sand, I compare making yourself celibate so that you won’t be gay to trying to turn an apple into an orange. If you are gay just go with it (don’t be a ho though) find someone special, say your prayers in the morning and at night witht that special persona and tell G-d every single day that you love Him.

  • Hagi

    MARYYYYYY You da best, sister! May the Lord bless you and your loved ones abundantly!!!

  • Moore

    I 100% agree with Brittany. Well put. I am gay and a (former) Catholic. I felt so offended when I was denied Christ in the Eucharist by a bishop. No one should be denied the presence of Christ. The altar is not a Catholic table, it’s the Lord’s table. 

    • Guest

      If you believe no one should be denied the Eucharist, then I wonder if you really understood what you were receiving. 

      • Moore

        I was receiving Christ. I do believe that. Christ never denied himself to anyone, though, so why does the Church make it a point to? 

  • http://www.facebook.com/fdes2 Daniel J. Williams

    Well Mary, this article has produced quite an interesting exchange!  I wanted to recommend to everyone a book that was recommended to me by a Biblical scholar a few years ago.  I’ll warn you that it’s a dense read, but it definitively proves that, from a Biblical standpoint, homosexual _actions_ are prohibited by God.  The author, Robert A.J. Gagnon, looks at the original languages of the texts and the cultural context of the sections in the Bible (both Old and New Testaments) which refer to homosexual actions.  The title of the book is “The Bible and Homosexual Practice: Texts and Hermeneutics.”

    So, for anyone who is interested in the truth of the matter and/or would like a very valuable resource, I recommend this book.  It really helped me to gain a deeper understanding of the Church’s teaching, even though it was written by a non-Catholic!

  • Super

    This is quite a different experience than many other people have had. As a Latin-American Catholic living in Northern California, I can safely say that, across cultures, the way homosexuals are treated can be one way, but the way they are viewed is consistently negative. And it might not always be that the view is antagonistic, like maybe a view of sympathy for someone going to Hell, but that doesn’t make it any better. 

    There is no acceptance in society. Just tolerance. In the way that you tolerate a fly. 

    I don’t care that this one person shares her experience. But the fact that the term “fag drag” ever meant something is ridiculous. 

    As for the Church’s position on homosexuality, you guys should see what they teach African, Caribbean, and Latin-American countries about homosexuals. 

  • Guest

    I would like to mention, to those of you that keep saying that homosexuality is “unnatural”, that it occurs in nature all the time.  While you may not always hear about it, animals often have homosexual relationships with one another.  And human beings, when you come right down to it, are animals.  If two male black swans decide to look after an abandoned nest and eggs together, why can’t two homosexual human men be allowed to get married and have a family?

    • Theo

      This is one of the main reasons I question the Catholic faith.

      However, we can’t necessarily compare our actions to those of animals. Some animals kill their mates after intercourse. I don’t think we should hold that up as a model for human life or argue that it is natural for humans to kill their sexual partners. And yes, I realise that is reductio ad absurdum.

  • Theo

    This is a moving, powerful, and well-written article. I greatly admire this man’s courage.

    However, the point isn’t the Catholic Church’s stance on gay marriage. The point is the Catholic Church’s stance on freedom of religion. People who are not part of a particular religion should not be, especially in countries which lack an official state religion, legally bound to follow that religion’s specific revealed laws.

  • Laura H.

    Beautifully written and a wonderful explanation. I am so sharing this.

  • Aimee proulx

    I think its sad that this person thinks “the church” says its wrong- rather the Bible says its wrong.  God’s actual word.  Also, practicing celibecy is sad, when through Christ you could have freedom from it.  This person could heal and while that might be an issue they have to take captive and deal wtih, maybe even for the rest of their life- they wouldln’t  have to live in bondage to it.  But, she doesn’t know that because this person’s own priests probably don’t understand.  Shame on the church at larger for not teaching sound doctrine- for not placing God’s word above that of tradition or the Pope.

    • Theo

      Through Christ, he could have freedom from what, exactly?

      Are you suggesting that if gay people surrender to Christ, He will make them straight?

      I don’t think it works that way.

      And the Church believes that God speaks NOT ONLY through the Bible, but through Tradition (with a capital T). What the Church teaches IS what the Bible says, interpreted so that it’s clearer.

  • Evan

    The church rejects the sin, not the sinner. Besides, i believe that god created everything in the universe, as do many of you. That means he created each gay person as well as straight people. I dont think someone like GOD would accidentally create something, then say to the person who bears that mistake that its bad and you should go against every cell of your being to avoid it. That doesnt make sense to me. God didnt make a mistake. He “consciously” created gay people as well as straight people. God doesnt play games. He expects us to live good lives and treat others as if they are the most important person in the world. Thats all.

    • Andrew Gilford

      God created the person…they made the choice to be gay

      • Theo

        BEING gay — experiencing same-sex attraction — is not a choice. Performing homosexual acts is, of course.

  • HemingwayRTrollington

    Loving the sinner while abhorring the sin is not the same as admitting you are wrong about the act being a sin in the first place. Homosexuality has been documented in various other species like penguins and bottlenose dolphins. The Catholic Church has changed its official doctrine before when science proved it wrong, and even apologized to the scientists they tortured to repress the heliocentric theory of the cosmos. Nobody can make the church change, but maybe more people would show up on Sundays if the church didn’t side with the bigots on this issue. They don’t make you look good by comparison.

    • Evan

      Exactly. And i know its a weird reference of loving the sinner but not the sin. My cousin is in the seminary in rome and his priest friend told me that at the reception after his ordination to the deaconate. It was a very moving conversation and he said in all cases, god loves the sinner unconditionally, but naturally rejects the sin. The church can say whatever they want about this, but i feel like God wouldnt dislike someone because they r acting on a deep-rooted, instinctual desire that he placed in their hearts and souls. I have two lesbian aunts in my family. Both have partners, children, fantastic jobs, beautiful lives, but most importantly, they make everyone they meet feel amazing about him/herself. I dont know if that is a personality trait, or a way of making up for some people rejecting their way of life, but they are beautiful people either way and it is not for other people to tell them they are wrong. We cannot truly know what god wants until we meet him after this life and body and world falls away and we are left only with a soul, and the gates to heaven before us.

  • Kaitlynstroud15

    So I’m a little confused. Does this man commit sexual acts with other men or does he simply recognize his sexuality but doesn’t act on it because it is “wrong”?

  • MyNameIs

    So, out of curiosity, would marriage between two homosexuals be okay if they decided to be celibate together?

    • Theo

      Being celibate means not getting married…?

      I think you mean, would it be morally acceptable for two homosexuals to live together and share finances and perhaps raise a child as long as they didn’t have sex (or purposely entertain ~lustful impure thoughts~, etc etc), and the answer is yes, of course, why not?

      • Eeee

        Being celibate means not having sex….?

        • Theo

          “Marriage” as understood by the Church and, I think, the state, involves having sex…?

  • Tucker

    Whether or not the Church has the stance that it does or not, it is so sad and such an awful thing this day and age to cause so much contention among people. It’s ridiculous. A church is not a place for contention, it ought to be a place of welcome of all God’s children, regardless of circumstance. 

  • Guest

    I am so impressed with this young man and for the many commenting on this article for having such profound strength in their beliefs. I agree that it can be difficult to not feel ostracized when one encounters beliefs differently than one’s own, no matter what the issue, especially when name-calling and resentment and pressure are used by others to express their beliefs, which happens all too often.
    I have to express the sentiment stated by other commenters, though, that it saddens me to hear homosexuality be referred to as a “condition” or likened to a disease, because my view, even as a heterosexual, is that being so is actually a gift to the person enabling him or her to see love and experience love in another way.
    In reading through these posts (which I have to admit, I did not read them all) I found it interesting when it was stated that homosexuality is considered harmful to an individual’s soul and that Catholics must protest against gay marriage because of the harm it could do to others’ souls in the same way they would speak up if a person was stealing or causing harm to another individual. Just for consideration of the matter, there are certain aspects of the Catholic faith that other religions consider sinful or harmful to the soul, for example the use of statues, scapula, or the wearing of crosses. If people from these other religions tried to legally stop Catholics from practicing these aspects of their faith, wouldn’t most Catholics be offended, disturbed, and emphasize the freedom of religion that has been granted to us in our country? Wouldn’t they feel that just because someone believed differently it wasn’t their place to force those moral beliefs upon them? What if the majority of people in our country all felt that such religious practices were morally wrong and harmful to the soul? Would it then be right for our government to force Catholics to cease from such practices? What if others claimed you could still be Catholic and have your beliefs but you couldn’t legally be allowed to have statues and pictures regarding your faith and it wouldn’t necessarily cause you harm to abstain from those areas of your beliefs? Would you feelas if other’s beliefs were being forced upon you not allowing you to live as you believed? Would you think it was appropriate for our government to condone and enforce others’ moral beliefs upon you?
    I think when it comes to some “moral issues,” when the harm is not just to one’s soul but to the physical or financial or even emotional well-being of another, it is appropriate for our government to say certain actions are wrong and for people to speak up and get laws against those actions enforced, but when it comes to issues regarding harm done only to people’s souls based only upon peoples’ religious beliefs, that’s where the government needs to avoid making laws to enforce such beliefs. Failing to do so sets the stage for a host of problems with each of our freedoms, and I do not know of how the marriage of a same-sex couple who has abstained from sex prior to marriage would cause any harm other than the “spiritual harm” believed to exist by various religions.
    This is part of the reason I have a problem with gay marriage not being legalized. I would have just as much of a problem with the government forcing any religion to recognize gay marriages. When it’s just an issue of one’s soul, I think those morals should be left out of the reach of our secular laws, enabling each individual to search for their relationship with God on their own instead of forcing another groups views on the soul onto everyone else. It’s beautiful that Catholics and other Christians find spiritual guidance in the Bible, but in the same way they would not want the Koran or Book of Mormon or Rigveda being used to force moral views upon them, I don’t think it’s appropriate to push our government to push the morals of the Bible on others.
    Just some food for thought.

  • Mryan1125

    The fact that you stated that being gay is a burden God gave you shows that you yourself believe that being gay is a disease.  If you are brainwashed enough to think that about yourself, imagine what others in the Catholic Church view.  Besides, isn’t being gay a choice?  Because if it is, then you are choosing to have that burden in the first place, which totally defeats your argument.

    • Guest

      This is said under the assumption that being burdened and having a disease are equal (which they clearly are not).  Also, the Catholic Church has never purported that being gay was a choice- it accepts the fact that some people are born homosexual

  • Gay and Not Catholic

    you offer a rather twisted definition of courage.  indeed, this man is living in a “little catholic bubble.” the author of suggests that he is somehow a victim of prejudice from the mainstream gay community–namely gay people who don’t see anything wrong with having sex and entering into consenting relationships with other gay people.  I’ve never met gay people who really care if self-proclaimed “homosexual” catholics lock themselves away in celibacy.  In practice this seems to result in lots of problems of lasting psychological damage, as the enormous scandel with the Church and child molestation indicates.  but really, nobody cares if this guy decideds to refuse acting on desires that seem fundamental to who he is.  Perhaps on an even deeper level than being “homosexual,” he is a glutton for self-punishment.  It is a free country, and he should be allowed to dismember himself as he sees  fit.  But calling this “courage,” is rather perverse.  

    The real issue that his testimonial illustrates is not the disturbing effects of deeply homophobic religious ideology, though it does illustrate that.  Rather, what he shows us is how his religious position forecloses any ground for debate or disagreement.  He quite simply denies the possibility of any alternative to his view.  ”So the Church doesn’t oppose gay marriage because it’s wrong; she opposes it because it’s impossible, just as impossible as living on sand.”  Well, there you have it.  Gay marriage can’t work because gay marriage can’t work.  WHy not?  Because this is what he believes.  Because the Church says so.  Lacking is one single reason or piece of evidence.  This is not even an argument, and it certainly is not the foundation for any sound public policy.

    If gay marriage truly were impossible, why would it work just fine for the many gay people who are happily married in states where the law has been updated, just as it was updated to allow inter-racial marriage, and just as it has been updated at numerous points with respect to the definition of heterosexual marriage unions?  In fact, it seems to be quite possible.  The fact that it is alive and well where it has been legally sanctioned is clearly something that troubles this poor soul, but I hardly think that counts as some kind of discrimination against his anachronistic and masochistic worldview.  

    It is funny that he talks about the impossibility of living on sand, because  that seems to be precisely where he is living–with his head buried in it.  More than anything, he is living evidence that one can live with one’s head oriented in such a fashion, but I don’t think it is a model for living in the universe that I (and many other self-loving gay people) live in.  I believe that it is more courageous to live in a universe of possibility, than one of docility.  

    • Joe

      Funny.  Few people here seem to be recognizing that the writer of this article not once mentions public policy.  He says gay marriage is “impossible” in the eyes of the Church–meaning it is impossible to live the truly fulfilling life that God calls each one of us to while practicing a homosexual lifestyle.  A pleasurable life?  Maybe.  But this man knows true happiness is about so much more than pleasure.

      This article is not meant to be an argument.  It’s an example of a man faithfully living out the Church’s teaching on homosexuality.  Don’t like it?  Move right along; but please don’t judge.

      YOU, my friend, are behaving the exact way you claim does not exist.  Judging this man because he has chosen to be celibate.  You say he is “brainwashed,” has his head buried in the sand, etc.  Maybe you should open your mind a little.

      • Guest

        Amen!  It is judgmental and limited to condemn a man for choosing to be celibate

      • Gay and Not Catholic

        I never said that there was a problem with “judgment,” simply that I didn’t think it was courageous to live in a bubble while proclaiming yourself a victim of a minority group who has a much stronger claim to victim status.  

        And while he does not mention public policy overtly, he makes a universal claim about the impossibility of gay marriage, which becomes an argument that bears on policy as soon as it enters into the public sphere, which is precisely where we are discussing these issues.  

        I was mainly pointing out that his view amounts to nothing more than subjective opinion disguised as objective, universal fact, and then I was judging said opinion as foolish.  If you publish your words, then you are inviting judgement.  Go ahead and judge mine.

  • Jackieps37

    God bless you and keep, cause His face to shine upon you, and give you peace.  I love what y0u said here, and I love your passion for holiness at any cost!  You are a blessing!

  • a silent guardian

    This rings of both love AND faith: a rare combination only God can bring about :)

  • Billy

    I feel sorry that the Church has brainwashed this poor soul. I am gay and have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for two years – and it has been the happiest, most fulfilling time of my life. When I tried to reconcile my sexuality with my religion, I felt depressed and repressed. Now I feel free and liberated. I volunteer with inner city youth, and at local hospitals and that is what gives me strength and fulfillment, not blindly following some hocus-pocus traditions that have been passed down for 2000 years. I am happy that is satisfied with his current situation, but he has no idea what he is missing – being in a loving relationship with someone who he can really connect to.

    • Guest

      brainwashing?  Why can’t issues like this simply be chalked up to a difference in moral code?  He seems perfectly happy to me.  Just because you couldn’t reconcile your life with faith doesn’t mean he is automatically unhappy or brainwashed.  He simply is choosing to live life his own way- in line with the Catholic Church.  Having sex is not a life necessity, as so many in our culture today believe.

  • btassie

    I have no qualms with this point of view. If people didn’t hold their beliefs as important than the world would be an incredibly boring place. But there are two things that I don’t think are being acknowledged here. 1) This person is writing from a very privileged and blessed standpoint. He experienced kindness and compassion in regards to his sexual orientation. But what he isn’t addressing is the fact that, stereotypes don’t come from nowhere. I’ve heard of many experiences of people of non-heterosexual orientations within Catholic communities that were nowhere near as smooth. Because his experience was a good one, does not mean everyone’s is by any means. 2) I do not believe it is the decision to be celibate that the LGBTQA community has a problem with, but the fact that Catholicism teaches that it is a sin not to be. It is the denial of that connection, love, support, and intimacy that most people view as a problem. Yes, the same is asked of nuns, priests, monks, and certain members of the laity. But the difference is that their celibacy is a choice. For any non-heterosexual, not being celibate is a moral sin. The freedom to choose is removed. Therein lies the biggest issue with Catholic views towards homosexuality in particular. 

    • Guest

      Although I don’t completely agree, this is a much more fair and non-judgmental assessment of this article.

      The freedom to choose is never removed.  We all have the capacity to commit sin under any circumstances.  Like many aspects of faith, we cannot understand why God makes some people gay and others not.  Although it seems unfair, God has called these people to a chaste lifestyle (just as he calls singles- gay or straight- to a similar chastity). 

      As a straight, un-married person I too can see this as unfair.  What if nobody wants to marry me?  Then I, too, am obligated to remain chaste for life.  God asks things of us we don’t always find fair, appealing, or understand.  This doesn’t make them invalid though 

    • Danny P

      Religious are to abstain from “love, support and intimacy”? Are these univocal with “sexual relations”?

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  • trixie

    I have been reading through a number of these comments and it seems to me, as usual, those that know the least and the ones who shout the loudest.

    All that is wrong with the world is summed up by this: God gave man (and woman) FREE WILL. How we choose to use it is what causes sin. God did not invent war. Yet look how there have been throughout history and we’re still fighting in them today. God did not invent hatred. Yet how many people TEACH it to their children? Why do we have the NOH8 Campaign that was started in CA about this very subject?

    I have sat in the pew and heard countless homilies from priests that embrace our gay brothers and sisters, however, they promote the type of lifestyle the young writer is speaking of. Did any of you actually READ his article and accept HIS feelings? You’re all on your soapboxes defending your opinions and it’s exactly what he’s talking about. You don’t allow him to live his life in peace. YOU GET IN HIS FACE FOR CHOOSING A PATH OF CELEBECY! 

    You’re all hypocrits.

    • Tori

      I have nothing against his path of celibecy, I respect anyone for choosing that path. I however do not feel the same way, I believe that God made gays to be gay, and they can have a life partner too. However his choice to live in celebecy is a great on which we have many a priest to thank for the same contribution.

  • Ben

    I, too, admire this man’s courage and am happy for him that he has such supporting family and friends. However, I get confused when he starts talking about marriage. It might mean something different to religious people, but as an atheist, I view marriage as two people stating that they love each other and want to be together for the rest of their lives. Nothing holy, nothing practical, just love. I am confused as to why people in this day and age want to restrict who people can love and marry, no matter your religion, or lack-thereof.  What also strikes me as odd is his analysis of why homosexuality doesn’t fit into the picture. Over 1,500 species on earth have had documented occurrences of homosexual mating, some for life. I don’t see why this is unnatural or wrong in any way. I may be straight, but I will not stand idly by while people’s rights are taken away.

    • Danny P

      Please define “love” as used in this comment.

  • Joe

    Brittany, the act itself is destructive. It is like asking what is the point of apple juice? to drink it in order to nourish the body. So to, the body parts of man and woman have a function. Sperm is to unite with an egg. Eggs with eggs and sperm with sperm does not serve a purpose…the virtue of a thing. I wish to convey my message not in a raised voice or heated tone at all. Rather for the sake of argument…(if a is to b, b is to c, therefore, a is to c). So, with that in mind I hope this message comes with a deep sense of humility

    • MathMan

      a = c = sperm, b = egg OR a = c = egg, b = sperm.
      Using your mathematical argument gay sex should be just fine.

  • Tori

    Christian gay couples have sex for the same reason that straight couples do, because they LOVE eachother. Just because they cannont have a child, the same way a barren couple cannot have a child, does not give a good enough reason for them not to participate in such activities. Those straight couples who are blessed enough to have a child good for them they can have a family that way. Gay couples who are blessed enough to recieve a child through adoption, good for them too, they will have a family that way. Sexual orientation should not be judged by the Church, which it is everyday! I’m gay, I stopped going to a Catholic church because they don’t accept me and never will. I have felt those scornfull looks as I walked into my home parish where people knew I was gay, a good feeling? I think not. I have now moved to another church home. I may be gay, but all I want is to love God and my partner, just like any straight person out there.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=577010647 Joe Strada

    That was amazing- very encouraging to see such a strong Catholic

  • Brad

    Discussion of the purpose of marriage, specifically the spiritual purpose, is beside the point.  The important point for Americans is that in this country the government has decided to treat those who are married differently from those who are not.  If the government is in the business of discriminating between those couples who are married and those who are not then what we have here is an issue of rights.  If the church doesn’t want to recognize gay couples that’s fine, it doesn’t have to.  Catholics can live their entire lives denying that gay marriage is even possible.  The church can continue to deny it’s spiritual marriages to gay couples.  Why does church and state have to be intertwined in this case?  It seems the church isn’t comfortable until it can infiltrate the state and force their views onto every citizen.    

  • Jairus

    I feel that there is a poor rationality about being gay in this article. If there is nothing wrong with being attracted to the opposite sex and you can confidently say that this is how god made you and that it isn’t a disease then being able there should be nothing wrong with engaging in a loving sexual partnership with someone you have truly committed your life to. We constantly hear from the conservative south that gay marriage shouldn’t be allowed in this country because of sanctity of marriage, when frankly, the privilege  of using that as a debate is long gone with half of all marriages ending in divorce in this country. Why aren’t we campaigning to keep people like Kim Kardashian from getting married. If two gay couples are committed for life and truly love each other then they damn well better have the right to get married (that doesn’t need to be in a church, but legally in this country). There is no logic in saying that being gay is fine but doing gay acts isn’t. I’m a Catholic (not gay) and I love my church and the wonderful tool it is for me to become closer to god. But, just because the Pope says something doesn’t mean that god feels the same way. I’m sure that god wasn’t in favor of killing in the crusades and the Spanish Inquisition.  I’m frankly offended by this article and feel that it places the gays as second tier humans. 

  • Jeannie

    Thank you for this very personal response to a very difficult life.  I have a sister in law that recently got married to her life companion.  The family is celebrating this but I am having difficulty in their celebration and have been keeping quiet.  I pray for these two women that I love very much and continue to look for a response to them.  Perhaps I won’t have to say anything but simply love them, pray for them and be a good friend, as I’ve done throughout the years.  I would like to be able to tell those that are ‘celebrating’ this marriage and who deem themselves good Catholics, that they have been misguided and that they are complicit in this scandal that hurts the children in our family.  Any thoughts?  

    • Ben

      My response is this video. There’s nothing hurtful about it. Love is all you need for a family. http://front.moveon.org/two-lesbians-raised-a-baby-and-this-is-what-they-got/#.TteMZAuaIF4.facebook

  • Lastdayout

    you are all idiots, end of story…

  • Educated

    Well this is complete bullshit. You can’t be catholic and gay. If you proclaim yourself a catholic you choose to accept all the dogma and bullshit that goes along with it and according to the catholic church, being homosexual isn’t acceptable. The catholic churches stance on homosexuality is quite clear, it’s unacceptable. It’s in your own little book of fairy tales. And according to the catholic church to go against that is to be questioning your own faith and you are no longer recognized as being catholic. So this is stupid. Along with all organized religions but most specifically this one. Use your brain idiots.

    • Maybesmithwasabadidea

      It was so refreshing, to read your comment. And, by refeshing, I mean rather disgusting and annoying. How about instead of hating, you take the time to actually read a little of the book called we know was “The Catechism”? It might be a good idea, considering about half of the information you just offered was false, not to mention the arrogance you wrote it with made it worse.

      “Educated” is definitely the worst nom de plume I could’ve thought for you.

    • Anonymous

      sin is sin…..God sees any sin as an abomination.  whether that be the lie you told or a murder you committed.  living in sin-that is what all of us do, no matter what religion (or none at all) we profess or try to abide by.  the best we can hope for and strive for is a continual, growing, and maturing relationship with God.  and that therein lies the miracle.  that even though we are so imperfect, so flawed, so broken, He still gave up His one and only Son so that we could have that privilege of that relationship. not as servants, not as outsiders, but as His royal children.

  • Maekindred

    What a remarkably spiritual and Catholic perspective from a very courageous, wonderful child of God!

  • H. Barnes

    Mary,  homosexuality used to be considered a mental condition that needed psychiatric help.  After the gay activists joined the board, they were successful getting that changed.

    My point is, maybe there are some issues in your past that need to be addressed.  Many heterosexuals have issues they need to address too.  It’s not something we should be ashamed of, only that in order to move forward one must come to terms with their past.

  • Martin

    One of my growing concerns is that if same-sex marriage laws are passed as well as the so-called anti-discrimination laws, there is a legal case where the Christian Churches with clergy and pastors all registered as marriage celebrants can be legally forced to hold a marriage ceremony for same-sex couples even though it is against Christian teaching. This is a clear case where the law and government will have the power to directly interfere with religious practice. So much for Articles 18 and 19 of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, or for Section 116 of the Australian Constitution (I imagine that there is a similar section in the US Constitution which prohibits government from interfering with religious practice in the public sphere.)

  • Bloom

    Replying to Ben: there was not more space  so here is my comment.
    I met a girl who since she was little she always liked girls. She grew up and understood that she was lesbian, accepted it, lived it, and she said that maybe she was born to like girls. Like many other LGBTs she didn’t fully grasp the concept of why she was lesbian but because she accepted who she was she instead and became involved in the advocacy for LGBTQ rights. A year passed and  I recently say her and asked about her work, and she said she stopped because she is not lesbian anymore!.. I didn’t understand. How can that happen, but she said” I met the love of God, the holy spirit made me crave for the Eucharist. After long prayer and many praying over me and the confusion I had about church and “ME”…” ( because she thought she was normal and the church was just wrong not to accept people as they are)”… I have to say that looking at Christs sacrifice and God’s love for us.. why not give something we want so bad for his great sacrifice.” We talked for hours after because I was so stunned by this love for the Eucharist she had. So I just have to say to Ben maybe you are not born with this, but its all about the habits people create and the amount of Love and sacrifice we would like to offer up to Our God. 

  • julissa

    Though I am a straight Catholic young adult with little life experience I’ve always been for same sex marriage because something just says its not right to segregate whether it be gender or race. I mean in all honesty sadly some marriages are just plain sad and loveless. I think when it comes down to it marriage is about unconditional love. I think why most people are against homosexuality is because it is synonymous with permiscuity but we forget heterosexual people can be equally loose. I think if a person was homosexual and they too abstained from sex BEFORE marriage and they were allowed to marry they too should deserve that undescribable feeling that occurs when a man and a women are in love and are with each other for the first time. God created people in his image I don’t think he’d purposely ostracize a particular group to live by a different standard than everyone else. As for sex is only for procreation there are infertile people and there are some people who are just down right aweful. There is no perfect person and who are we to put restrictions on others? 

  • Tibb77

    Mary says that the church doesn’t oppose gay marriage because it’s wrong but does the church believe that homosexuality is a sin? That is a completely different subject a viewpoint but never the less important.

  • Sgt Howell

    interesting but not exactly accurate. The reason any church opposes homosexuality is because God calls it in abomination in the Bible. To have gay tendencies but remain celibate and to be active in a homosexual relationship are two totally different things, but the premise still lies on the fact that God forbids same sex relationships, not the church (the church only teaches and enforces the truth God has given). There is something to be said for denial of self desire in order to avoid sin, i applaud this person for remaining celibate instead of engaging in blatant sin, and see this as a lesson to all of us in a me centered society to seek first the kingdom of God. 

  • Faith

    This article is without a doubt absolutely amazing!  It is people like this, people who are willing to follow the teachings of Jesus no matter what, that will make it into the kingdom of heaven.  Congratulations on following the Catholic church and Jesus Christ himself.  I hope this article inspires many other gay Catholics to look to the Church for support and strength to live a life of true Christianity.  

  • Daniel S

    The Catholic Church is anything but a ‘good mother’.  What other institution can take responsibility for the Crusades, the Inquisition, and the systematic concealment of child rape?

    • Babsieblue

      As far as child rape: Protestant churches, youth groups, public schools, private schools….they all cover it up. More than the Catholics. People just hate the Catholic Church more, so they point it out more. The Muslims were just as much part of the Crusades as the Catholics, as well as the reason why the Inquisition happened. Muslims have been pretty awful – more so than the Church, history proves.

  • Dawn Gilbert

    This is an awesome post.  As a Catholic parent of a Catholic teenager who is still figuring out his sexuality, he believes that he is bisexual and has a girlfriend, I appreciate the courage of this young person.  I think my son will appreciate it as well.  Thank you for posting.

  • :P

    What’s impossible about being gay again? You can’t have kids naturally and you can’t be accepted by all people (as if anyone ever is). That’s the only thing.  I don’t think God opposes gay marriage. And the people that oppose the impossible are ridiculous. Many long ago thought it was impossible to fly and couldn’t even think of anything like computers. Many even thought it was impossible for women to vote. Your reasoning is weak. Possibly even invalid.

  • Luke

    Being gay is a mortal sin, just like any other desire for grave evil. It is not acceptable to want to kill someone, nor is it acceptable to want to have sexual relations void of procreation.

    • Theo

      I’m sorry, what? Temptation is not sin. If the idea of murder crosses someone’s mind and the person immediately rejects it and prays for strength to overcome the temptation, the person has not sinned. Even Jesus was tempted in Scripture.

      • Amy

        I think what Luke is trying to say is that in the Bible, even if you think an unpure thought it is sin. So EVERYONE Sins! The diffrence is whether you are sincerely asking God to forgive you for those unpure thoughts and not give in to the Temptation. Obviously Temptation is not sin, but ACTING on it is. And yes Jesus was “Tempted” but he did not give in and prayed to God and regained strength to carry on his task he was sent here to do. So I do agree with you (Theo) you when you say that a person should reject the temptation immediately and get right with God! :)

  • Amy

    I think that people need to stop looking at what “the church” thinks- In the Bible a church is described as a body of believers; Who are we as people to judge each other, we are all humans aren’t we? If a person really wants the answers and the truth, open up your Bible and read what God says- You will find all the answers to every single question and comment every person has made in this thread of responses and there will be no debates because it is so obvious what God’s desire and plan is for your life. God longs for a personal relationship with you and in the end, that’s all that matters.  Don’t try and twist the words and take everything that your pastor or priest says literally- Open up the word for yourself to find the truth! If you haven’t taken the time to do that, then I feel arguing amongst yourselves is a waste of your energy.

    • Amy

      Also on a side note: If you ever read the book of Psalms in the Bible, Solomon discusses his love and passions for his lover and it is purely Godly; God created us as sexual and spiritual beings so there is nothing wrong with enjoying sex- Whether you are wanting a child or just pure desire- As long as it is in the RIGHT CONTEXT, you have his blessing and there is no need to be ashamed of it! :)

      • Amy

        oop! Not Psalms lol “Song of Solomon”. Like I said before, I am only human so I am bound to make mistakes! :)

  • Isabelle

    But unfortunately, those kinds of people DO exist. There are also the very judgmental people who are not even Catholic to take into account. 

  • skierthing

    The Church believes, and I believe, in a universe that means something, and in a God who made the universe — made men and women, designed sex and marriage from the ground up. In that universe, gay marriage doesn’t make sense. It doesn’t fit with the rest of the picture, and we’re not about to throw out the rest of the picture??????????????????????????????????????????????????So—if god made men and women and designed sex and marriage from the ground up, then, why are there gay people period? If gay marriage doesn’t make sense then being  gay makes no sense either. Why would god make homosexuals and then command that they be deprived of Intimate Love and Romance with their fellow humans? God made gay people! God gave all people the capacity to Love fully. God would obviously want all people to experience Love in all of its glory not only with him, but with his fellow humans as well. I don’t believe this testimony holds any ground. Since God made People in His Image, all people should have the Right to Marriage so long as it is a true and honest expression of Love. 

  • Cognito87

    The issue is that in the united states there can be no law favoring or hindering any religion. Making an argument based on religous views null and voids your argument. You can not deny two consenting adults the right to enter into a legal spousal relationship because you believe their going to hell. You have the right to think what ever you want about homosexual couples but you do not have the right to oppress people with different beleives.

  • Joanne

    Thank you so much for sharing from your heart a much-needed message that has been lost in all the rhetoric, politics and hype. I applaud your courage and fortitude. God bless you!

  • Sam

    You lost any shred of credibility saying John Lennon was an idiot. Other view points (different from your own) are far from idiocy. People tend to choose the rhetoric they prefer to support their perceptions.  Personally,  the Beatles aren’t my favorite band but if you can’t recognize artistic brilliance John Lennon possesses than you’re probably the idiot.   I’m happy that you’re enjoying, or at least seem to be enjoying, your passionately Catholic life style but it is obtrusive to expect that from the gay community at large.  This, like many messages presented to us, is just powerfully and well craftted rhetoric.

    • Paula

      Dear Sam,

      I may be incorrect, but I believe the author termed Lennon “an idiot” because of the  following line in Lennon’s “Imagine”: “nothing to kill or die for and no religion, too”.

      If there were no religion, there would be no Catholic Church, for example. If there were no Catholic Church in our contemporary world, this planet would lose the single MOST active, widespread, generous charity. As much as many people begrudge to admit it, the situation of the world’s poor and oppressed would be FAR worse without the Catholic Church. So, Lennon may not be an idiot per se, but he is, at the very least, short-sighted and narrow-minded for not realizing the inestimable value of religion.

  • http://www.facebook.com/daughter123 Candice Wilcox

    Let us pray the Lord helps all to live in accordance with the truth. Living the truth is difficult and not the popular vote. It takes work, deep prayer and sometimes tears. The work will lead you too feel whole inside. Everyone has a cross, and if you ask the Lord to help carry the Lord your struggles do not feel like a cross but a deep connection with Christ. It is beautiful!!!!

  • Amanda

    This is a very well-written article and yet just as flawed.  A beautiful life doesn’t necessarily mean celibacy. Being sexually active shouldn’t discriminate between genders, nor should the act of marriage.  Plenty of heterosexual married couples choose not to have children, some homosexual married couples choose to adopt.  It could work may ways.  I don’t think a loving marriage to someone of the same sex is anything like “eating sand.”  If God is meant to be all loving, he would pour that love into you regardless of who you choose to be with for the rest of your life.  People are people, and I’m so sad that this person feels as though they have to deprive themselves of a loving marriage all to fit a community that SHOULD love and respect them in all aspects of their life, disregarding gender biases.  Some choose celibacy, but you are only choosing it because if you don’t, you lose your religion.  And that, well that really isn’t a choice at all.

  • Beth Anne Saves

    Wow this is an AWESOME post! I love how he just accepts who he is  and doesn’t make “excuses” for himself and follows the churches teachings!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Mike-Harold/100001481053844 Mike Harold

    wow…as an atheist….and no thats not a “religion”…or even a “belief”…just common sense..( because using rational, or not beleiving in something, doesnt require proof!) ..proving a negative, proving ssomething doesnt exist?!..cmon people……that would be like saying ,”hey any person who doesnt believe in talking squirels who have mind control power, prove it, prove those squirels in my head dont have mind control power over me”!…….yes prove that….o wait…u cant prove they dont??..well then you must lack the faith…and it must mean its true to…cause they even wrote a book…a long time ago…by the head mind control squirel…lets call him…bob…..so clearly its an old book writtrn by the head squirel himself…that you cant disprove….so we better abide out lives by this book…cause at least it tells us what happens after we die  ( the biggest reason people follow a religion, fear of death)…..

    ahhh “faith”….the biggest con job ever known to mankind..

     .any catholics who posted anti or pro gay sentiments 1 way or the other…wholy crap…you are all truly why this world is completly f’ed …the sad thing is governments are being run by people who beleive in the bascially same scams ( whether catholic, muslim, jewish, etc….) a person in any sort of position of power thinking a mystical voice or book is telling him or her to direct people 1 way or the other….(makes me afraid of our future)..we have evolved so far through logic, science, reasoning, only to see our world being throwing  away by false promises of afterlife…are people truly that scared of death, of the unknown, that they place their hope in what bascially equates to magic tricks??      …humpty dumpty….cat in the hat… jesus/god….no living proof exists that shows any of those stories to be more true than the next…how do we know that the flying sphagetti monster isnt our 1 true deity??  no more proof of that then a catholic or muslim god, and joseph smith?? wow …frauds continue to prosper even well after death, kinda like that false prophet Billy Mays ( cause we all know oxyclean sucks)      
    “faith”..the easiest BS word that enslaves billions of you on this world…… well i have “faith” this world is totally fuck#d…religion is the greatest con/control job of all time..

    • Amy

      I guess you don’t celebrate Easter then hey? There were hundreds of witnesses that saw Jesus come alive after being dead in the grave for 3 days- And it dates back to other sources than just the Bible stating this! So if you want to ignore it, then that is your personal decision and No one can make you believe anything. If there is no God, Nothings matters. If there is a God, EVERYTHING does. Food for thought.

      • ossified girl

        That doesn’t make sense. The existence of god would not make everything matter. I think it would make everything matter less, because, in the grand scheme of eternity and salvation and hell, we don’t really matter. Our actions are predetermined and our thoughts shallow and inconsequential. Whether we go to heaven or hell doesn’t depend on our decency towards our fellow man but our compliance with a suffocating and antiquated religion. If, on the other hand, there is no god, our existence is finite and beautiful, and our every action has consequences. Our love for our families, spouses, friends and neighbors carries incredible weight. We will no longer ask for revenge in the next life. We can live on our own terms and rejoice in the beauty of human kindness and life. 

        I’m gay. My girlfriend and I enjoy volunteering at our local animal shelter; we work very hard in school and love our families very much. We also have sex. We’d love to get married and foster children in the future. I don’t consider myself a bad person. 

        • Amy

          Our actions are not pre-determined. Yes, God is all-knowing, but when he created Adam an Eve in the beginning he gave them the choice of free will and the CHOICE to choose a relationship with him or not. They had a beautiful and wonderful personal relationship with God and with each other, but eventually Satan got jealous of God (he wanted to BE God) and tempted Eve. Eve fell for the temptation, as she had the CHOICE to make that dcision, and Adam loved her sooo much that once he found out that she had sinned, disobeyed God’s requset, he Chose to take part of the fruit as well knowing full-well what the consequences meant, as he would not live without her. That is love and God is True… He had to follow through with his word so that is how Death of this earthly life came into the world. But then roughly 4, 000 years after that, he send Jesus, the ultimate sacrife to die for ALL the sins of the earth if ppl would just believe in him! God is so loving and WANTS a relationship with you. He will not force you to do anything; I strongly dissagree with the logic behind living carelessly if there is no god. I was never a believer my whole life, and before I asked Jesus to take control of my life and come into my heart, I was living my life for ME, following my own desires and ultimately lost and confused in a world run by the devil; once I found God my life had purpose and meaning. God doesnt ask you to do anything but believe in him and be saved; the Rest you will WANT to do because you are so grateful for the sacrife He made and feel so incredibly loved and overjoyed by his presence living inside you. Until you actualy experience this kind of Powerful love, you will never know what you were missing. I hope one day you will feel the love and have the relationship that God is longing to have with you and created you for since day 1. :)

    • Paula

      Dear Mike,

      Please scientifically prove to me that there is no God. Thanks!

  • http://www.lifeasareader.blogspot.com Carla Schmidt Holloway

    If you don’t think it’s hateful and bigoted to compare other people’s loving, committed relationships to EATING SAND, then I don’t think you understand the meaning of any of those words.

    You have a right to choose what you do with your life and your body.  You have a right to choose to be celibate, and if it makes you happy, good for you.  However, for many, many people (unless they are asexual), celibacy will not bring any kind of happiness, because celibacy isn’t just about not having sex, but not having the kind of intimate and trusting personal relationship that the sexual relationship leads to.

    Again, if you are happy without sex and without a romantic relationship, if you are fully satisfied by the love and companionship you get from your friends and family, there’s nothing wrong with that.  It’s your choice.  You are an individual and only you have the right or the ability to say how your choices and experiences affect you.  No one has a right to tell you, “if you would just go ahead and have gay relationships, you’d see how it would make you happy.”

    But the thing is, neither do you have the right or the ability to say with any kind of certainty that celibacy will result in happiness and fulfillment for every other gay man or lesbian on the planet.  The vast majority of us human beings are sexual beings.  Genesis tells us that God said, “it is not good for the man to be alone.”  Maybe other people don’t have the supportive and loving family and friends that you have been blessed with.  Other people can’t be satisfied without a romantic, sexual relationship.

    You have a right to be in control of your sexuality, even if that means having no sex life whatsoever.  I don’t think that voluntary celibacy is necessarily harmful, and the FACT is, gay and lesbian relationships ARE NOT HARMFUL either.  So when you compare those loving and committed and satisfying and beautiful relationships to an ignorant child eating sand, you are in fact perpetuating a bigoted and hateful stereotype.  Please, stop.

    • Paula

      “celibacy isn’t just about not having sex, but not having the kind of
      intimate and trusting personal relationship that the sexual relationship
      leads to.”

      My understanding of relationships is that the intimate and trusting part comes BEFORE the sexual part  not the other way around, as you seem to suggest.

      p.s. You’re a little bit on the right track when you say that “celibacy isn’t just about not having sex”. Celibacy is a whole way of life of which “not having sex” is one component. BUT that clearly does not preclude celibates from being able to have deep and trusting platonic relationships with others.

  • C J

    Deciding you are gay is one thing. However the sexual feelings should not be acted upon.  Two gay people who raise a child should not raise that child as openly gay lovers.  There is another kind of love, and that love is encouraged by God.  By God’s design woman was created for man. I respect gay people who recognize who they are and choose to practice their life with abstinance. Like the author stated, he has an intense fulfilling relationship with God our Father.  We all should praise God for whatever our life presents to us for these life experiences teach us they are our crosses to bear during this short physical life.  Being able to thank God for all that happens in your life is giving yourself over to the Father who created all which is seen and unseen.  One day each of us will be presented with a vision of our physical life and will learn and see where we went wrong. We will all be overcome with the love poured out to us from the Father. Think and remember we are all fallible humans but you have been given free will to make your own choices.  There are no excuses for choosing to do what is wrong.  Decide what it will be like for you when you finally come face to face with God.  Love to all people everywhere, life is difficult in different ways for different people.  No one has a perfect life. Things can look greener on the other side.  That does not mean they are.

  • Jlittleton033

    The only argument that I have read in the 15 minutes I have spent reading comments is that because a gay couple cannot produce children they shouldn’ be allowed to have sex.  It is my understanding that homosexuality in the Catholic church is accepted as long as there is no sex. Alright, I can understand that.  Biologically a gay couple cannot have kids, I GET THAT!! What I don’t get is why do you care? Oh wait, I know…it is because in order for a marriage to be considered complete in the eyes of God the marriage must be consumated.  In order to consumate a marriage a couple must have sex and because a gay couple cannot reproduce they must not have sex therefore their marriage is not complete in the eyes of God.  I agree with all of that. BUT…..I don’t need my marriage to be considered complete in the eyes of God. He doesn’t allow me to see my spouce in their death bed in the hospital. He doesn’t allow me and my spouce to file on the same taxes. I mean, if He does please tell me so I am no longer mistaken. As far as I am concerned He does not make those decissions.  THE STATE DOES! Whoa….news flash!! God doesn’t control the government…a right people have died for, for hundreds of years. What gay couples are fighting for are the same rights heterosexual couples have had for years. If the Church doesn’t agree with that don’t allows gay couples to get married inside of the Church! The government, as per my understanding of it, cannot stop a Church from not allowing a gay couple to get married inside the Church.

    So, instead of arguing about sex and uteruses…why don’t you step back and look at the bigger picture. By not allowing gay couples to marry you are stopping them from having the same rights as any heterosexual couple.  I am a gay man, and one day i would want to marry my future spouce.  However, I will not attempt to marry inside of the Church.  I am Catholic and I respect the beliefs and morals of my Church, so I will not go against those teachings.  However, I will get married in a court house and walk out a happily married man. So, get out of the way. Stop fighting against our rights. Please!!

  • Lloyd

    If God made you then you are what you are. He gave you the capacity to give your love to someone else, someone special. The experience of true love comes from the soul followed by a physical union. True love knows no boundaries and in itself is a celebration of who you are. God has given you this as a gift. It’s sad that you will live a life of guilt. I hope you don’t. 

    Having given all of your worldly goods to the poor, you are probably living on the street, too.

    • Amy

      Lol that is so flawed; If you had a personal relationship with God then you would know that God doesn’t ask you to give all you have to the poor- that was used as an example that Jesus was making back in one of his stories he shared to the rich men who were so attached to their worldly possessions they could not see anything past that; God only asks that you believe in his son, Jesus, to be saved and recieve the gift of eternal life. Everything else you choose to do is from your love for God and some people may WANT to give a lot to the poor to show their love, and that is great. But not everyone will have this need placed on their heart to give all they have away, they may find other ways to serve the Lord, but once again keep in mind, it is Not our works that save us, but by simply believing in Jesus Christ that he is the son of God and that he came and died for your sins and that he loves you and wants you to enter into a personal relationship with you. Besides that one thing he asks of you, if you actually accept him in you will naturally Want to change your ways most likely, but you are not forced by any means to do anything. God is not a controlling God, he is Loving and allows you to choose for yourself. :)  

  • Brennan

    I do enjoy his insight, and I thought it was a great article. However, I believe even under the church man should be allowed to be with man, and woman with woman. Overpopulating the world has caused horrible affects on humankind, from starvation, to war, to genocide. I think that overusing God-given resources to detriment humanity is an abomination, and that homosexual relations as well as safe birth control are more protecting of the world given to us by God, as opposed to the unholy alternative of using everything up- we are in the process. God gave men and women sexual desire as a gift- like everything else he/she gave us. Why can’t this be celebrated without damaging the world?

    • Amy

      Because we are NOT overpopulating the Earth- That is a lie that is being placed in people’s heads by the New World Order… And also if you truly believe what the Bible says then you would know that this world is going to end one day with Jesus’ return and he is going to make it New for us; I think overpopulating the Earth should be the least of people’s concerns right now, those are all lies the Devil has placed in people’s minds to take the focus off of God and distract people to live a life of sin as the Devil HATES God and doesn’t want anyone to enter into a personal relationship with God. I am just so shocked by so many of the comments I have read in the last day on here showing how messed up the world is and how people can make anything they like make sense because it “feels good” and hardly anyone is reading their Bibles or praying anymore. It is pretty sad how things are constantly changing and moving away from God these days :(

  • Marina

    Awesome!  What an inspiration young man!  Thank you so much for sharing.

  • Demriea

    As a Catholic lesbian, this blog brings me to tears (as it did on The Catholic Bubble). He is MY hero!

    DD

  • ossified girl

    Well, I’m still going to have gay sex with my girlfriend. Not impressed. 

  • Archie

    Thanks for sharing.  Great to read the comments of someone who is truly living his faith as a homosexual.  Non-catholics are completely intolerant of the church’s beliefs when it doesn’t suit them.  I hope this will help more people to understand.  God and the church (like a father and mother) do not discriminate against gays.  Jesus even said, “Love thy neighbour.”  And not, “Love thy neighbour except homosexuals.”  God loves us all, so we should love each other.  God gave us his laws, which coincide with the natural law, for our own good, to find our way back to Paradise, to heaven.  And, like His Son, Jesus, He asks us to die unto self, to suffer through this temporary world.  We all have crosses to carry, but, God’s love and grace can help us through it if we are open to his loving care.  And, we can only do this by loving Him wholeheartedly and completely, not just when it’s easy or when it suits us.

    • Amy

      You are taking the love God suggested out of context; God does not say “Have sex” with thy neighbor, he says “love” your neighbour; as in show kindness, compassion, empathy, etc. Yes I think we need to show these things to all people no matter what they want to believe is right, and they will see God’s love shining through us and will desire to change their ways. That is what I think God is trying to say if you read the whole Bible- he does not by any means encourage this type of gay sexaul relations, but LOVES you so much regardless of the current state you are in this Moment,  But he wants you to change and follow him. God does NOT Hate you if you are Gay; He loves you and wants you to know him.

  • Helenclarefurton

    It’s incredible that this brave man published his insight and personal experience. He must understand the need for more awareness and possibility regarding this difficult life choice of  celibacy in a world which considers this practice impossible.

  • http://www.facebook.com/Zaweber Zach Weber

    It is beautiful to see someone who see’s the beauty of living out a Catholic Lifestyle.  Often people who are not Catholic tend to slip in ideas about what Catholics believe and what we do not.  Being Catholic is not about rules, it is about LOVE.  Whether you are gay or heterosexual a sin is a sin (adultery).  I hope more people read this!

  • http://digitalblind.com/ John

    Beautiful article! Very insightful and powerful.

    Small question/statement that is not intended to take away from the article as a whole, specifically in reference to:

    “I’m grateful to gay activists for some things — making people people more aware of the prevalence of homosexuality, making homophobia less socially acceptable”

    What is “homophobia”? How would you define it?

    I’ve been labeled a homophobe for disapproving with specific actions. 

    I can disagree with something without being afraid.

  • Fom4life

    i have not read all 399 comments but here are some thoughts for what it is worth.
     
    The church has several restrictions in regards to marriage and sexuality.   The rules are put there to protect us and to provide the best possible happiness.  While it is possible that someone may find happiness if they do whatever the heck they want, it is still unhealthy to go outside the church’s boundaries just as it is unhealthy to smoke or eat at MacDonald’s everyday. Smoking may not give you lung cancer or a steady Diet of MacDonald’s may not give you diabetes but you can’t say the dangers are not there just because you want something.

    A married man might find happiness in the arms of another woman.  He might be happy leaving his wife and hooking up with her.  He might find happiness in a divorce.  Perhaps both couples will find happiness in divorce.
     
    A couple of 15 and 39 might find happiness together in marriage.
     
    A man might find happiness in more than one wife.
     
    A couple might find happiness in not marrying but just living together.
     
    A brother and sister might find happiness in getting married.
     There are restrictions in both civil, church, and natural law for marriage. 

    God has a plan for Love and Marriage that far exceeds what we think might make us happy.  He set up the plan for marriage and if we want to honor God we will respect the plan he has for us for that is what is best for us. 

    One more interesting restriction worth mentioning is this.  If a man can’t perform the martial act (not infertility) the church will not allow (as far as I know) for that couple to marry.  If you cannot consummate the marriage you may not marry.   Marriage is made not just for creating new life but for bonding between  husband and wife.  The sacramental bond is expressed physically with the unification of two bodies into one.  That cannot physically take place between members of the same sex no matter how much they want it.

    This article respects people where they are and encourages and makes it seem wonderful and good that those with a homosexual orientation can and should live the teaching of Christ expressed through his bride the Church.   There is my 2 cents.

  • Chrissas3osst

    I totally and wholeheartedly agree with the above letter. I too am a gay man living according to our catholic faith, and I agree that you get a lot of support from the Church. The problem is when we mention that we are living chaste lives in union with the teachings of the Church. I have a very fulfilled life as a gay man within the Church and being obedient and open to her teachings! Kudos to the author!!! We need more like him!!!

  • Guest

    God is a homosexual.

  • Anonymous

    You said, “When it comes down to it, this issue won’t be won in political debates..”
    You’re wrong, lesbian and gay coules  want to be married BY LAW, not by the Catholic church. Believe it or not, not everyone shares your religion or belief system. You should try to be TOLERANT of people who are different, rather than trying to rationalize your ignorance. Church and State are seperate, and there is no LEGAL reason why same sex couples shouldnt be allowed to be married.

  • Kathleen

    He has an amazing understanding of his faith; better than some members of the clergy I’ve met. Good for him & God bless.

  • Sarah

    THank you for sharing your beautiful message.  You are an amazing writer.  I love your points on not being criticized for being gay but being celibate, and how it is hard to be Catholic and anything. YOu are an amazing person and me and my family will keep you in our prayers!  Keep up your amazing life!

  • Pam

    Sand is actually a great representation of sex between two males.  Eating sand isn’t good for you- it isn’t digestible and probably causes other physical side-effects (dehydration, for instance.)  Sex between two males has bad physical side-effects, from simple hemorrhoids all the way to AIDS plus many unpleasant results in-between.  Would I let my child eat sand knowing that he/she will end up in the hospital with preventable diseases?  Of course not!  Neither should we let God’s children persist in life-stealing acts of a sexual nature.  I know that I cannot eat popcorn because if I do I will get violently sick.  Do I still want popcorn?  Yes, I love the smell of it.  I don’t eat it, though, because I don’t want to be sick.  The gay lobby will deny that there is any danger in same couple sex- they are ignoring the science. 

  • amanda

    I’m so blown away! I’m Catholic and it is so important to me and so beautiful to me, you put me to shame. God help me to have the courage and strength to take up my cross daily and follow you.

  • Rhonda

    I think you have answered yourself, when you drew the comparison with allowing a child to eat sand.  As a parent or any other human being who would see a child eating sand, would respond to this action, “NO” . We have not been created to eat sand.  So now as this issue of sexual preference becomes more and more topics of discussion, we all need to sit before the Blessed Sacrament and LISTEN to God’s voice within us. We are at a very important preface of the church. Above all else, it is NOT about what the Catholic Church teaches, IT IS ABOUT WHAT GOD TEACHES!! 
    We have been created in the likeness and image of God.
    Genesis 1:27

    So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he
    created them; male and female he created them.
    And why did God create male and female?
    Genesis 1:28 God blessed
    them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the
    earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the
    sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.” Through the waters of baptism in Christ Jesus, we are all called children of God.  Again this is a promise from God Himself.  We are blessed to be apart of the Catholic Church, who guides us into TRUTH.  But in this day, TRUTH is what we strive for, which ultimately will bring us to HEAVEN, where ALL TRUTH will be revealed.  The ONLY CHOICE GOD has given us, is the choice of FREE WILL.So ultimately, all TRUTH will be revealed to ALL mankind.    As we all strive for TRUTH, we must all strive for HOLY LOVE, to ALL we meet!!Keep your eyes on Christ, He will never let you fall and will lead you into all TRUTH.We must ALL ponder and bring to prayer, in humility… Romans 1:18-32
     

    The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the
    godlessness and wickedness of people, who suppress the truth by their
    wickedness,  since what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them. 
    For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his
    eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood
    from what has been made, so that people are without excuse For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave
    thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts
    were darkened.  Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools 
    and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images made to look
    like a mortal human being and birds and animals and reptiles.
     
    Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to
    sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another. 
    They exchanged the truth about God for a lie, and worshiped and served
    created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen.
    Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural sexual relations for unnatural ones. 
    In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and
    were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed shameful acts
    with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their
    error.
    Furthermore, just as they did not think it worthwhile to retain the
    knowledge of God, so God gave them over to a depraved mind, so that they
    do what ought not to be done. 
    They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and
    depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice.
    They are gossips,  slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents; they have no understanding, no fidelity, no love, no mercy
    Although they know God’s righteous decree that those who do such things
    deserve death, they not only continue to do these very things but also
    approve of those who practice them.

  • Yothemidget111

    Marriage should be measured in love not gender

    Punch yourself in the face for calling John Lennon an idiot who do you think you are?!

  • Yothemidget111

    Also what about all of the beautiful little babies in this world that are living happy and healthy lives with their gay or lesbian parents, a life that their biological straight parents would have never cared to give them

    Marriage is more than procreating with the opposite sex

    • Amy

      That is what you are choosing to believe about marriage, but once again, Not what God’s plan and design for marriage is. Get back to the basics please people and please stop twisting the Bible to say wat you want it to; It’s so clear what God wants! If you would just take the time to get to know him you will see it too. God’s plan is not only for procreating, but for a physical and intimate relationship with the opposite sex. If God only wanted you to be with the same sex, then why did he create Eve SPECIFICALLY designed to fit with Adam? If you believe that God is a true and loving God, then understand that He created us male and female, not male and male, female and female. If he did then that would be a different story. But he didn’t.

  • Shammie

    What a beautiful expression of God’s plan for our saving grace in action. I am so inspired, as a heterosexual woman, to accept the single live I lead until marriage. It makes what I have to give to my husband one day more special..just as this man’s celibacy is his gift to God. I say kudos and God bless!!!!

  • Lauren

    I wish I knew where these loving, accepting Catholics were too. When I came out to my friends they stared at me like I was a zoo animal. My mother called me selfish, and blamed for bringing this hardship on myself. I thought of Jesus eating with tax collectors and prostitutes when the atheists, protestants, and agnostics at my school took me in, accepting me for what I was, loving me regardless. I wish I could convey to my “Catholic” peers how painful it is to want a family, to want someone to love and to cherish, and to be told that such a union is meaningless… Despite what they might think, it is not about sexual perversion and hedonism, it is about the basic human desire to love and be loved by another. We are not zoo animals, and we have suffered more than you know. 

    • Anonymous

      The Church allows for such relationships, just so long as they don’t involve sexual activity.

      I agree that the article glosses over such reactions. They do happen. It was even normal in the long ago past.

      Ultimately I think aberrations, not just sexuality, are a major challenge and difficulty for humans. But homosexuality is so much more difficult. 

  • Dr. Cheryl Lemay

    The Catholic Church used to oppress women and now they are oppressing LGBT. It’s as simple as that. Thankfully, some churches are progressive and have moved past it but unfortunately some have not. This guy needs to educate himself with the history of the Roman Catholic Church, an oppressive, power and money hungry institution who was responsible for the mass murders of millions of women (and some men) during the Witch Persecutions (unless you believe in witches… then MAY GOD HELP YOU) before accepting oppression as God’s will for him.
    He thinks everyone has a “battle” in life. His battle isn’t oppressing himself because of “God’s will” but it is to overcome this and declare himself an EQUAL HUMAN BEING who deserves EQUAL RIGHTS.

  • ZHarvat

    Many people are positing so-called “naturalist” arguments that the man and woman were designed to marry because one has the egg, and the other, sperm. Perhaps this is true of sex — heterosexual sex is meant to be procreative whereas homosexual sex is not. But marriage as an institution was not created as a means of procreation: that was happening long before marriage. Marriage began as an economic exchange and has evolved over the years to take on different meanings. It is a socially constructed entity that we mold to suit our needs – and our current need is to use it as a justification from extending equal human rights to all people regardless of sexual orientation. One of the authors points that I take umbrage with is “Which is worth more — all this, or getting to have sex with who I want?” It has nothing to do with sex  and has everything to do with homosexuals wanting and deserving to be loved and respected as equally as their heterosexual brethren.

    • Amy

      That is the definition of marriage now-a-days where people do not consider God’s true intention for it. So even if the world is becoming so selfish and trying to push God out, if everyone else says it’s ok, does that mean it is? No, it’s not. God is always right. You can twist it and try and convince yourself that it’s ok, but in the end God is the only one who will decide and his word is the truth and will never change.

  • Sally

    I often ask the question “Do you want to go to heaven?” I have never heard a “no” in response. I then ask, “do you believe that we will be like brothers and sisters in heaven?” Again, “yes” seems to be the common answer. I think more people are afraid of what it is to be celibate and see it as such a strain on human freedom. Although it involves sacrifice, when it is centered on Jesus Christ it is the foretaste of what is to come…to belong totally to God and to embrace the pinnacle of the purest of loves.

  • Guest

    Perfectly sane, not choosing sex so you can go talk to a bread wafer in a really expensive box!  Nothing wrong with celibacy, it’s the rest of it that makes no sense.

    • Anonymous

      The human person is a union of matter and a soul. Technically it doesn’t require blood and nerves and hair etc. Just that union. Jesus has pulled off a way of bringing about a pure (and non-sexual) bodily, conjugal union with his bride, which is us. He chose bread as a symbol and then unites his human soul to it, at which it becomes his body. Properly prepared for the Mass can be a foretaste of heaven, just as the Church also teaches that of ordinary marital union.

      The last supper was, in my view, the consummation of Creation.

  • Religion Bestmindcontrolever

    Its going to feel pretty silly if god doesnt exist.  If religion really is just some old quack from a thousand years ago way of controlling people.  If the person who wrote the above is happy being celibate, good on him.. but what anybody chooses to do behind closed doors is their business… and they only have to answer to themselves.  Not some figment god.  Get your own thoughts and stop being controlled by such an archaic bunch of bullshit.  

    • Amy

      It’s gonna feel pretty silly if he Does exist and you realize that you made the biggest mistake of your life not choosing to live for him, and have to live alienated from God for all eternity; That would be hell (a life separated from God), as God is Love and offers us eternal life if you choose to accept it- It’s A FREE GIFT!!! Everyone will have a choice to make at some point in this earthly life, You can choose to live FOR God or live AGAINST Him. The choice is ultimately yours (God gives you the right to choose for yourself- he won’t Force you into it!), just be prepared to live with the consequesnces of your choice.

  • Andymacop

    Courageous to say the least. His path of holiness is something to admire and imitate.

  • Fallenivan

    Teresa of Avila wrote: “I pity them, who do not know their soul and it’s treasures. How much people suffer for not knowing their own soul!!” I really worry about this person in the letter who denies himself the possibility of a relationship for the sake of “religious convictions” and wonder how much his own soul, or God are actually in that sacrifice…

    • Anonymous

      He’s not expressing a mere conviction but a relationship with God in Jesus. Religious faith isn’t “Belief without evidence/proof/knowledge” which was a redefinition by the atheist Carl Sagan, but in fact a pure and direct knowledge of God, purer than the eyes can provide. WE claim that God not only proves His own existence but also invites us in to an active relationship. You may not your self believe this but since there is no proof that there is no god then logically you have to allow for the possibility.

  • Evan Brienza

    @Joseph Amendolea… How would you feel about a non-fertile woman or a sterile man? Or simply a man and a woman who are in love but do not want to have children. Do they not deserve marriage or have this so-called “life-giving love”? Two human beings in love, regardless of gender, race, religious beliefs, etc, have a special bond between one another, that no one else but those 2 people can or will ever understand. That is what marriage is for. It is a bond between 2 people declaring their eternal love for one another. 

    • Amy

      Love is not just a feeling, It is a choice; In a marriage you may not always feel “in love” but you choose to love the other person. And of course anyone can marry whoever the heck they please, but I feel that this thread is for those wanting some spiritual guidance and for those who are seeking God’s will. Of course if a man or women are unable to reproduce that would not stop them from getting married- And my question is: how would they know that before mariage? God intends for you to wait until marriage for sex!

  • Doriath_07

    That was amazing!  His courage in claiming and living with his cross is truly admirable. 

  • Sweetviolist

    I don’t believe that anywhere in the Bible it says men can’t love men or women can’t love women with a true and quality love. A love based on honoring the other person, considering their needs first, and truly being there for them. I do though consider the sexual acts that underlie what homosexuality may become for some people, a perversion of how things were supposed to be done.

  • K.quatious

    Beautiful!  I, too am suffering hardships, albeit different than yours, all the same they are very difficult. 
    Thank you for putting into words what I have been trying to say all along.  I have friends who are gay, and love them very much just as any other friend
    I have, but I have been reluctant to tell them my views on this front for fear that they will think that I hate them or think that they are inferior, when in fact the opposite is true…

  • Al

    A wonderful story but there will always be those who can only see and read what they want to see and read.  People don’t understand the power of faith.  Great courage!

  • Mary C

    So does the Church teach then that people are born gay (therefore God created a man to be gay – despite not wanting him to be gay because it’s ‘bad’ for him) or what?

    • Anonymous

      It doesn’t teach either way, wisely. It simply says “an objective disorder” which one can’t really argue with unless you get in to the rather disengenuous “it’s natural” argument that some favour.

  • Me

    Thank You! 

  • Schristy15

    Yes, God loves the sinner and not the sin…but yet God is also all-just….are we forgetting about Sodom and Gomorrah??? … :S

  • anonymous

    Beautiful! That is a witness to real love! Thank you. Sometimes our burdens seem impossible to live with and we wish they were lighter, truth is, they can become our greatest source of happiness when we find a purpose for them. 

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  • Girl-monk

    I was once a Lesbian yet Now I am not. I have been completely healed of my sexual identity crisis (i identified as a man instead of a woman for many years) due to several painful childhood experiences. By the Grace of God, through one mans prayer for my healing, I am now 100% attracted the the opposite sex and feel like I am a woman!!! That however hasn’t stopped Satan bombarding me with woman every time I walk down the street or has it stopped him disturbing me of a night time with sexual dreams about women . I advise anyone who wants to Really understand Homosexuality or who has homosexual tendencies themselves, to read Leanne Paynes book “Healing the Homosexual and the Crisis in Masculinity”. No one is Born Gay and with God all things are possible. xxxx

    • Trog

      So you still have wet dreams about ladies, yet you’re not ghey? Hmm.

  • Anonymous

    So…a gay couple having sex is analogous to eating harmful sand?  Far-fetched analogy.  Sex is sex, I would guess (though I am straight) that gay sex between a loving couple is just as healthy and satisfying as straight sex.
    I was born and raised in a strict Catholic household, but I didn’t let human-invented institutions like religion dictate what is “good” and “bad” for me after I turned 17.  It took that long, and I am sorry for it.  My mind is my own and my ethical beliefs are my own (I pitched the word “moral” out the window).  I do not reconcile my soul against a list of rules ancient civilizations made up to keep people in line without the use of military force.  

  • Paul

    It irritates me that this person refers to John Lennon as an idiot, he was a man that explored himself in a very thorough way. He had very strong views on peace and I do not understand why that makes him an idiot. Maybe the male above has had a positive experience by telling others of his sexuality, but the truth of the matter is that many do not. I know several people who have tried to bring it up to their own parents, the ones who should love them unconditionally, and were then kicked out of their house. Personally, I am not sure what religion I am, but I do go to church ever Sunday due to the fact that if I tell my parents I am not catholic, there is a chance I could get kicked out of my house. So, in theory God created all of the animals on the planet and allowed them free will. Did you know that over 1500 animals on the planet are homosexual, yet homo sapiens are the only ones that discriminate against them? If a God created all of these species, then why did he pick only 1 to save? Why are all of the rest condemned to hell just because they were not made with the mental capacity to understand religion? I am not homosexual, but I do believe that they should be able to get married. 
    Sincerely, 
    A Turned Away Ex-Catholic

  • Cristy

    You are such a beautiful person and I encourage you to continue spreading your message. As a fellow Catholic, I am strengthened in my love for the Church through your words. God bless xoxo

  • Castro1goularte

    People, your not hearing the message! A loving choice is being made to leave self behind and allow God to take over! Catholic and Gay sets a stellar example of what it means to recognize work at life, faith and a relationship with God! It’s a hard life to live and there is no judgement!

  • Christopher Porter

    Hi: Realizing this is a blog I haven’t been to, and the anonymity of responses here, I will initially follow responses to my post but if they’re out of line I will just disregard the thread.

    Right before this courageous person identified John Lennon as “kind of an idiot,” he said something that I have taken as a main point to this post.

    “So the Church doesn’t oppose gay marriage because it’s wrong; she opposes it because it’s impossible, just as impossible as living on sand. The Church believes, and I believe, in a universe that means something, and in a God who made the universe — made men and women, designed sex and marriage from the ground up. In that universe, gay marriage doesn’t make sense. It doesn’t fit with the rest of the picture, and we’re not about to throw out the rest of the picture.”

    How is it impossible? What do you / does he mean to say when writing that it’s “impossible?” What aspect of the numerous same-sex marriages already committed to and in existence is impossible?

    The paragraph I quoted, as well as the rest of the post, is very broad. I appreciate the personal nature of it, but I don’t find it to be “written by someone who understands the Church’s teaching on homosexuality.” I do understand that he claims to be “celibate,” but I don’t believe him.

    I appreciate it, but I felt I must comment because I believe that intellectualizing ignorance is criminal.

    Thank you,
    +C.p.

  • http://forenseeks.wordpress.com/ bel

    well done for your courage as a true Catholic. Your response to God’s gift to you needs to be shown to the world.

  • Swpassero

    It has Nothing to do with prejudice or hatred. HOMOSEXUALITY is against God, and it is WRONG. The fact that people feel this can even discuss this topic is like Jesus said about the Pharisees. “They worship Me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me.” Sit down gays, and take the cotton out of your ears and put it in your mouth. YOU ARE WRONG I. YOUR BELIEF YOU CAN SERVE GOD OR PLEASE HIM IN A SAME SEX RELATIONSHIP. The Bible doesn’t say live as you want THEN worship Me. Then Plan Of Salvation is John 3:3, 3:5, and Acts 2:38. Anything less than that is “lukewarm.” And we know what Jesus said in Revelation about those who are lukewarm- He will spit you OUT OF HIS MOUTH.

  • Gillian

    Marriage  should not be a privilege kept to man and woman, and at that Catholic men and women.  I am not gay, but I am also not Catholic. I have been in a heterosexual relationship for 14 years and married for over 8 of those years. The Catholic church does not accept my marriage because I was not married by the church. My husband and I were both raised in a Catholic environment and while we do not believe that every Catholic discriminates, we do believe that the majority of the church does.   My problem is when religion interferes with politics and that interferes with civil rights.  You have the option to live and practice your life how you want to, and that is fine.  I do think it is sad that you will not allow yourself to enjoy a homosexual relationship because you think it is dirty and unhealthy.  I do not know how old you are, but I hope as you grow you will one day find companionship on this physical earth.

    • Csmith

      Gillian, the Catholic Church does recognize marriages outside of the church. The Catholic Church requires her members to be married in the Church, or if married in a church that is not Catholic or by a non-Catholic minister, to have a Catholic priest bless the marriage, in order to remain in a state of grace, in order to receive the Sacraments. The Catholic Church places no requirements on those who are not members of the Church to follow the rules of the Church. If you were raised Catholic and want to continue in the Catholic Faith, doesn’t it make sense to get married in it? If one rejects the Church’s teachings on marriage, then one can’t really consider oneself Catholic.
       The Catholic Church is always and everywhere supportive of and fighting for civil rights, for all people, men, women, children, the elderly, the infirm, and the unborn. The Church does not interfere with politics but does participate in politics as any other body.
      God created us in His image and likeness, which means we have the ability to think, to choose, and to love. He gave us the freedom to choose to love him or to reject him. He does not force us to love him, if he did, it would not be love. True love is a choice.

  • Ellen

    I applaud you and your so beautiful, open letter on the life that you lead.  As a catholic myself, I always believed that you love the person, and hate the sin.  I find you a breath of fresh air and one of the most reverant catholics out there today who believes and trusts in our Lord to make true your path here on earth.  He truly holds a special place for you.

  • matteo – Roma

    be a Catholic is not:
    God is waiting in a chapel.
    Matteo – Roma

  • Marissa

    Thank you for posting this. I am blown away by your loyalty to your catholic faith. It’s such an encouragement for me as a young catholic trying to live a pure life and struggling.
    God bless you

  • http://www.facebook.com/rwitbrodt Richelle Witbrodt

    Well I’m glad you’re “happy” to make this decision for yourself, but if you want people to share your faith, I don’t think forcing them legally or guilt-tripping them is going to be very effective.  Remember the prodigal son?  He came back to his father on his own.  If you really do have faith in what you say you believe in, then you wouldn’t feel the need to legally restrict people from marrying.  Anyone can choose celibacy, and  you’re not a better person for choosing to struggle, because your choice to struggle does not prevent the unexpected struggles that are inevitable in life.  I was raised Catholic and am so much happier and closer to God outside the church as an openly gay woman in a loving relationship.  Perhaps you don’t believe this is possible, but like others have said, it’s not up to you to judge me and tell me how to live “correctly” or “morally”.  I must taste the “sand” myself to know it’s  bad for me – being told will never quench my curiosity or allow me to fully “know” if it really is bad.  And when i say sand I’m not referring to the specific sand that you consider gay relationships, but the many sands and fruits of life.  Often, one man’s sand is another’s fruit.  To be told something is wrong by your mother is not the same as experiencing – we cannot just study, but also experience to complete the equation of truth-knowing, and to be limited by other humans’ words or laws inhibits our ability to have these experience and find out what is best for us by our own conscience.  I know Catholics today don’t have much faith in anything outside of what the Church dictates is morally right and wrong, but maybe some of you will have the “courage” to try to think for  yourselves and question your faith as to strengthen it.
    The world YOU live in is not everyone’s world – the sooner you accept this and are open to people outside of your personal world making their own decisions and mistakes, the sooner all of our worlds will become better places to live.  Feel free to live your life, but don’t limit my decisions with laws and lessons.

  • Patty

    I never understand why people have such a hard time understanding that the ACT of homosexuality is wrong. Are they saying that our animal instincts cannot be controlled? We are humans, not animals. God created us with FREE WILL. I can go and commit murder if I want. Does that make it right? No. I can control my impusles under rage. Same with homosexuality. I can have gay sex. Does that make it right? No. If I succumb to my “animal instincts,” I am no better than a beast who has no free will.

    • Christopher Porter

      That’s bizarre. Have fun though– I suppose pooping is out. :-)

  • ClareAnn

    Great article! Can’t help but be quite overwhelmed by some of the comments below though…   particularly with regards to what seems to be a lot of confusion over the life-giving nature of sex which is just one of the ways asserting our sexuality. It seems to me that there are lots of people (catholic and non-catholics alike) that need to understand a bit more about the difference between sex (as in the act) and sexuality. Having sex is one of the many ways you can assert your sexuality. Yes, sex according to the Catholic Church has to be genuine and of a truly self-giving ie. life-giving nature. Though the procreative nature of sex is fundamental, it is about being honest about the nature of sex, not whether or not each act is absolutely sure to produce a child or not. An infertile heterosexual couple having sex (and I mean real sex here… not some other act that is actually a perversion of sex) is still asserting their sexuality. The act has a life-giving nature even though they are infertile. Same with couples past child-baring age.  Of course people with same-sex tendancies are capable of loving! They are often some of the most loving people I know, and in many ways God is calling them to a very high level of love. However, the ‘sex’ that a man and man or woman and woman have can never have a ‘life-giving’ or procreative nature therefore it is never right. Needless to say that there are many sexual acts that a man and woman can do together that, as a result of not having that life-giving nature are also wrong.  Since love is meant to be self-giving, then the act of love (sex) should be self-giving, not just self-fulfilling as it so often is portrayed. Our sexuality (which clearly has a procreative function) is embedded in our nature and we are lying with our bodies when we do things that mimic sex but remove its procreative, self-giving nature. This is a truth that most profoundly affects people with same-sex tendencies, but it applies to all.

    • Trog

      The hairsplitting here is mind-boggling. Human beings lose the ability to procreate after a specified point in time. Their reproductive function is biologically designed to wither and die. Unless you’re willing to accept that elderly heterosexual couples having intercourse are perverting God’s intended design, then you have no business creating a hierarchy of permissibility based on a sex act’s “life-giving” nature. Keep spinning the wheels of those tautologies of yours–it’s so like watching a frantic hamster in a cage.

  • let’s be reasonable

    Children raised by gay couples have been shown to be in psychological good health. For those of you who haven’t seen Zach Wahl’s speech, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FSQQK2Vuf9Q. 

    For those of you who make the “open to life” comment, a short while ago scientists were able to synthesize sperm for a female egg…it might be possible for a gay couple to have a child someday.

  • Mcl

    wow. He is a strong, faith-filled person.

  • Justin Wright

    There is no such thing as
    “gay” and “lesbian” (or any other derivative there of). Those ideas of
    are fictional constructs based only on developed and maintained feelings
    and chosen behavior and they are designed to create a fictional special
    class of people and move the focus and conversation away from motive,
    behavior and responsibility. May all those who find their self in
    that unenviable position find the guidance and strength and loving
    support to move toward and onto a more healthier heterosexual path as
    GOD and nature intended.

  • Christopher Porter

    Oh, my gosh! You talk to GOD?! Tell him “hi!” :-)

  • Rainbows

    This just looks like the worst case of Stockholm Syndrome I’ve ever seen. I’m all about choosing celibacy if you feel that’s right for you, but this is obviously a case of feeling forced into it by a being who has declared a part of you as immoral. And that is a sick, sad attitude.

  • Emma Hollingberry

    Anyone who wishes to understand cohesively the Church’s teachings (which answers all of the questions I’ve seen regarding openness to life, etc.), I suggest read this: http://www.christendom-awake.org/pages/may/homosex.htm. 

  • Heartmove

    Wow!  I am not Catholic, but this is the deepest, truest explanation I ever heard.  We all have struggles……….. Keep telling it like it is!  My prayers & hope are with you. 

  • G.

    To: “Mary”
    If you are going to post it seems to me that you should perhaps stick to something you can really relate to and therefore better understand.
    Food For Thought –
    “Nothing is so good for an ignorant man as silence; and if he was sensible of this he would not be ignorant.”
     ”It is better to be silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.”

    • http://youngandcatholic.net Mary Lane

      thanks for your opinion, G.  But I really don’t see a problem with sharing the words of someone who actually can relate and therefore, as you say, does understand.  

      And my name actually is Mary, so you don’t need to put it in quotation marks :)

  • Bobby

    In some ways, what “Catholic and gay” says has merit.  However, I am uncomfortable with simply stating “I am gay” as opposed to struggling with same-sex attraction.  Being “gay” or being “straight” properly understood is not meant to characterize who we are.  It is one part of our being and our make-up as children of God; and has too many connotations with the confusion permeating our culture. However, I also realize the fragility of someone dealing with these issues.   

  • Susiemiklius

    What I find so beautiful about this article is the fact that in surrendering our own desires, we attain glory and grace, truth and a love beyond our wildest dreams through Jesus Christ. The eucharist is our saving grace, and it challenges us on a daily basis to be the people God calls us to. True love, is total sacrifice – it is beyond anything we can control – it is a gift, a gift we are given by Jesus Christ. If people only realized that by picking up our crosses, we attain more joy than we could possibly imagining. That in suffering, great grace is given. The other option is becoming slaves to our passions and that friends will never be satisfied. 

  • Xomeox

    This is about one mans experience with compassionate Catholics. I have never met a catholic that would be okay with their child coming out as gay like this. If you show me one, I may agree. But the rest of the interactions between gays and Catholics are much more sour than this leads one to believe.

    • Xomeox

      Continuation:
      Read all the other replies to this… I have one word: close minded. Where did all the compassion go?

      • http://www.facebook.com/#!/jbablitz?sk=notes Mrbablitz

        Truth matters…to the degree anyone  lives outside of Truth, Goodness and Beauty (all are the same being) is a pax on society… Tolerance is no virtue when it is tolerance of evil… To love the person is not to love/tolerate their sin.

  • Nolan Kujawski

    makes me cry to read about this kind of courage and admiration and understanding of his religion God bless him!

    and thank you so much for sharring!

  • http://twitter.com/TheWatchers00 The Watchers 00

    So this guy is treating himself as if he has some kind of mental illness? The Catholic Church has instilled in Him,(Nonsense) that what He Is,What he was born,  Is Bad, and He can Never Live a “Normal” Life because of what “GOD” made him? He cannot LOVE, receive LOVE or Commit to a Relationship with another Human being Because THAT would be a Sin….. But the Church isn’t bigoted nor evil?
     Sorry, You’re Not Living, You’re Just Dying

  • Kathleen

    Radiating
    Love is another word for sacrifice. Jesus died the most hideous, painful death imaginable. Married Love is not self satisfaction, but self donation in a mutually bonded sacramental union from which human beings are begotten. There are so many ways one can give oneself to others, but the one God planned for the continuation of life giving love is the sacramental type.
    Any person, unmarried or married cannot engage in unlawful unions for the sake of the sacrament which is violated, the Commandments denied, and the turning away from our friendship with God Almighty. As I stated above, that sweet Jesus, God our Savior, gave us puny, ungrateful, self centered humans the most enormous expression of His love on the blood letting, pain racked, ignominious cross.  My Grace is sufficient for thee the Word says. It is our struggled minds which fights against the graces. Straight or gay, we all struggle to look at God and say “Yes” as Mary did. That will bring the Word made Flesh into our hearts out of which will flow a world much better for our being in it. It is our choice to focus on ourselves or Him who made us for Himself. Please, let us pray for one another, as a small act of love for the other.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Caitlin-Duffy/624648416 Caitlin Duffy

    I think that you make many valid points. One of which is that being Catholic and anything is hard. A loving parent does set boundaries for us of things that we can and can not do. I believe the exception over all of these boundaries is love. Love is the only thing that crosses every boundary, even the boundaries set up by a loving parent. If the love that you speak of is true – gay, straight etc. than God is not judging it, but rather apart of it. God is the part that makes any relationship WHOLE. In the words of my gay brother, “If it is love than it is never wrong.” I believe that question that we all need to be asking ourselves is . . . is it really love? 
    I love and appreciate the kind perspective you have given to the Catholic Church, because I believe it to be truthful in terms of how She treats homosexuals. 
    What I do not agree with is if you TRULY loved another man, since you claim to be gay, and if that love was REAL than I believe you would give up the Catholic church for that other person. I wish that one day you will not have to, but I believe that you would. 

    We are all searching for that perfect love. Jesus died to save us from our sins. He loved us so much that he laid down his life for the greater good of love. I think if you really were in love with someone, you would give up the Eucharist and give up an institution to celebrate it. 

    I hope and pray that this decision will not have be made for all homosexuals and that they can find a way to balance these two things that he/she loves in their life. The church and his or her partner. 

    It is not about having sex with who you want, but LOVING another human being as completely as possible. 

    Also, someone who believes in Imagining a better world is not an idoiot! John Lenon sang about peace. Jesus is about peace and hope for a better world. Jesus spoke of the Kingdom of God, what is more figurative than the Kingdom of God. 

    Sorry that was so rough, but those are my thoughts at the moment. 

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  • Jskoog13

    Why does the Church hide their bigotry and homophobia behind the guise of Scripture that is taken out of context? Jesus would have accepted homosexuals, seeing as they are marginalized.  Marginalized, in large part because of the teachings of the Catholic Church condemning homosexuality. 

    • http://www.facebook.com/#!/jbablitz?sk=notes Mrbablitz

      There is nothing bigoted about sharing Truth. Do you even know the meaning of bigotry?  There are no scriptures taken out of context…. Go Deeper.     go deeper… what is the fundamental principle and necessary end of  Divine Order…. evil is a distrotion/ a twisting of Truth, Beauty and Goodness…  Tell me how to you rationalize this unnatural, twisted act as participating in Divine Order.    Just becasue a dog has the impulse to hump a person’s leg does not mean that the dog is a legsexual… just becasue you have an impulse to the same sex… or a dog.. or a baby  does not mean that desire/impulse is of God.

      • Jskoog13

        How are you able to make that value determination for others? If God made everyone in His image, then there is no reason why homosexuality is a perversion.  How do you determine what is “truth?” If your answer is Scripture, then there are many things you are forced to defend as true, such as the race war that the Israelites went on to reclaim the Promised Land, as well as multiple laws that modern people would define as barbaric. Having a heterosexual desire is also an impulse, but there is no reason why you think of that as bad.  You are simply homophobic and bigoted. I can define bigotry for you: intolerance towards those who share different opinions from oneself.

  • Raj

            I first have to say I feel for the guy, and he does deserve kudos; for trying to live by guidelines given by people who themselves rarely follow.

            As for the Catholic Church being warm and welcoming and kind, and definitely not homophobic- yeah, not buying it. The Church as a whole- Catholics, Baptists, Methodists- is definitely not.

             I was raised in a Pentecostal fundamentalist household- when my mom found a journal expressing my feelings that I might be gay, she and my dad screamed, yelled, and cried for the next three hours. I told them I was sorry- I didn’t know what to do- and my mom said “Well, I’d rather you have been dead.” They kicked me out the next day. I was 16.

            I was able to stay at relatives’ houses til I was 18- then the pressure from my parents on those relatives led them to turn me out too. Try sleeping on the street, only sometimes in homeless shelters, try turning tricks in back alleys, doing everything you can to make a buck to be able to eat. Sleeping out where gangs are, and people like you get knifed every day. Yeah, that nice Church, where no one judges, and every supports you? I don’t know where that is- but it sure wasn’t there for me.

             I’m in college, I work hard, and have a boyfriend who loves and looks after me and keeps me safe- and if the Church, your Church, finds that so horrible- then, frankly, I’m speechless. 

  • Loliloveyou

    Awesome! :) Great explanation with the sand analogy!

  • Cwalterroy

    What a man. This is the Tim Tebow of Catholic Christian gays.  While some will disagree, I suspect few will not admire this young man.

  • Katlego

    i agree with you Brittany, it can’t be wrong to love. If God is love, then why is it wrong for me to love another man as he is. i dont want marriage as i agree with the church that it was made for man and woman, im just happy with being in a loving relationship with my partner, helping each other to be the best we can before God.

  • Nancy

    I am simply blown away this guy has answer a question that i have been asking myself for a while

  • http://www.facebook.com/jahiedy.vinas Jahiedy Vinas

    So amazing. YESSS!!!! xD

  • Anonymous

    I am a firm believer in Objective Truth and this man did a great job illustrating that. The only thing I cringe a bit on is his use of the word “gay” to describe himself. People in the lifestyle use this term and it has a politically charged connotation. I stopped using this term for myself immediately after I left the lifestyle to distinguish myself from the active, engaging group of homosexual people. Otherwise, his article was very good.

  • alix

    For God’s sake this poor man believes his homosexuality is something he should fight against. He thinks that it is a burden. The Church has taught you that it is a burden. Why would God make people love people of the same sex if He wanted them to deny themselves that love? This makes no sense, and in fact only makes me believe more in the bigotry and mind-washing of the Church. If there is a God, I hope he has mercy on these people’s souls when they come to Him and say “I chose to put others down and tell them they couldn’t love each other! And I did it in Your name!” If I had to choose, I’d rather go to death having been too compassionate than too judgmental.

  • Moonstruck74

    im very blown away by this persons perception and i have to agree. Im straight but i do fight for those who want equality. I grew up listening to people tell me that GOD and JESUS loves us all – they hate no one, so how are gays and lesbians not accepted in the church? this is my huge issue with my catholic faith. Im reading the bible getting to know my faith again and what this wonderful blogger had to say about GOD being “mother” and protecting his children is true. Back in those days we were created to multiply by man and women and for us to live forever those who defied GODS orders would die.  THose people who go to jail GOD and JESUS dont hate them they are dissapointed in them, but they still love them. In GODS eyes by not following his teachings he is disappointed but loves you anyway. Its hard to try and understand teachings from eons ago since the majority of us are very liberal nowadays but without faith where would we be? reading my bible i pray to GOD to help me understand what he was trying to do and i cry b/c its so powerful – but from what i’ve learned you just have to take things one day at a time in order to get what your looking for weather it be love, understanding or acceptance. GOD (whoever you believe in) is always with you and there for you in the good times and bad – he/she will be there to carry you home one day.

  • Rfeg

    On some levels homosexuality can be compared to alcoholism. The alcoholic does not want to be one. He can’t change that fact. The only thing he can changed is abstinance from alcohol. And yet society judges alcoholics, but they no longer judge homosexuals. He is right. We all have our addictions or sins–every one of us. God will not give us any cross that doesn’t come with the exact amount of grace we need to fight it. This life is a test. It isn’t the reward. The reward is living with God in heaven for all eternity. The Catholic church is the road map to heaven. And it’s  my hope that everyone who loves God will get there.

  • a guest

    Love you Mary ( dont know if thats ur name).. but your words are very good..especially on the love for the Eucharist Who is God waiting for you in the chapel.. thats true love, those thoughts srengthen mealways.. how could God not love me? how could i give this up for fleeting pleasures?  and yes the Church is our mother, we should listen to Her.. Now God and Our Lady bless u Amen

  • M.T

    I agree with you. Sadly in most of the western societies sometimes you find two extremes, the conservative Chirstians ( often catholics are more tolerant) and the gay activist , Both are not healthy … I m sure you can be gay and celive at the same time, as a wise men told me once is like the sin of the vanity , you can want it but as long you dont do it is ok with God . I am a gay perosn but i am also  Virgin person ho respect himself because i know i belong to God … How ever i just want to show my favorite text of the Bible on John 1 GOD IS LOVE AND WHOEVR DOESNT KNOW LOVE DOESNT KNOW GOD … noone has the right to judme and who ever doest it had a sin even worst than me jut because do not practise this simple and importan part of the holy word :)