Monthly Archives: December 2011

Merry Christmas!

Posted on December 27, 2011 by Mary| 1 Comment

Merry Christmas!

My God, if my tongue cannot say in every moment that I love You,
I want my heart to repeat it to You as often as I draw breath.”

-St. John Vianney

Posted in You & God

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Love, Freely Chosen

Posted on December 22, 2011 by Mary| 1 Comment

Originally Posted on February 15, 2010

A lot of emphasis is put on those in our society who feel “trapped” in relationships that lack the passion they once had.  This is all well and good, and romance and passion are important parts of any romantic relationship; but what about those couples trapped in relationships by the very passion we too often mistake for true love?  I think the situation of couples like this is much more serious because, more often than not, these couples don’t even realize they are “trapped”; they think they are “in love”.

We all know those couples that seem to break up every month and a half only to wind up back together within a week or two because they are just “so in love”.  The people who were so sure in one instant that they needed space suddenly realize, after an hour or two apart, that they “can’t live without each other”.  And isn’t that what love is—not being able to live without someone?

I think that’s what most people today think love is.  We think that love is just this intense and magical emotional connection that binds us together and we don’t really have a say in the matter.  “You can’t choose who you love,” we say.

I think this is a cheapened definition of love.  Of course there is a necessary emotional element to love, and you can’t (for the most part) choose whom you are attracted to.  You need chemistry.  You need passion.  But love is not made up of merely chemistry and passion alone.  This is because for love to be real love, it has to be freely chosen.

This is something we already know.  We don’t consider it a real act of love when a man marries a woman if he only does it because her father is threatening to kill him if he doesn’t.  This man would be acting out of fear and, because of his fear, he would not be free to make his own decision.

This seems like an extreme example, but we do the same thing when we become trapped in relationships by passion.  We may know when we are thinking clearly that a certain relationship is not good for us, but the fear of being without that feeling of closeness, of being without that romance or passion, is too much to handle.  So we tell ourselves we must be in love because we can’t imagine being happy without the other person.  But real love isn’t motivated by fear of the unknown or the uncomfortable.  Real love never coerces; it lets you decide for yourself.

This is something we ought to all be wary of.  Let’s not make the mistake of confusing intense passion with true love because, despite popular belief, they do not always go hand in hand.

Currently on blogging vacation.  New posts will return soon! Merry Christmas!

Posted in Dating & Relationships, Pop Culture, Youthful Antics

Boyfriends, Babies, & Jesus

Posted on December 20, 2011 by Mary| 3 Comments

Question:

Hey Mary,
I am a Catholic dating, more like a ”courting”, a non-Catholic. As a Catholic, I know that it is my duty to raise all of my children in the Catholic Church, so me and my boyfriend have had several discussions on this.

In his church, they are first baptized when they accept Jesus Christ as their Savior and he argues that that is how it was meant to be because that is as the Bible tells it. However, I believe in infant baptism as the Church does. So when we have this discussion, he says that the only reason the Church does it is so the baby’s original sin will be removed and they won’t go to Hell.

I don’t necessarily believe that an unbaptized baby will go to Hell, but I do believe that they should be baptized to remove original sin, so they can grow in the light of Christ.

How can I explain to him in a clear and concise argument the beauty and better reasons to infant baptism?

 Answer: 

Thanks for your question!  I’m reminded of (yet another) CS Lewis quote:

“You don’t have a soul.  You are a soul.  You have a body.”

As important as it is to nourish our bodies, it is even more important to feed our souls.  In a very real way, this is what baptism does.  It gives us the light of Christ (as you said, and as I’m sure your boyfriend agrees).  Now, if you two do one day get married and have kids, I’d imagine you’re not going to wait until they reach the age of reason to ask for food.  You’re going to feed your children to give them the proper nutrients so they are healthy.  How much truer should that be for the health of their souls!

Likewise, none of us chooses the family we are born into.  In fact, none of us chooses to be born in the first place.  I think it is fitting, then, that many of us do not initially choose our spiritual family in the Church.  We do not choose to born again in Christ.  But regardless of when you are baptized—if you made the decision after several years of study or if your parents decided it for you before you knew what was going on—it was still Christ who chose you first.

In addition, there is in fact Scriptural support for infant baptism (not to mention accounts from the early Christians).  In Luke’s Gospel, Jesus Himself says:

Now they were bringing even children to him that he might touch them; and when the disciples saw it, they rebuked them.  But Jesus called to him, saying, “Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them; for to such belongs the kingdom of God” (Luke 18:15-16)

“To such belongs the kingdom of God.”  Unless we become like children, we cannot enter Heaven.  It doesn’t really add up, then, that we have to first “be mature” to accept Christ, does it?

Also, there are accounts in the New Testament of whole families being baptized after hearing the Good News.

Act 16:15 – (speaking of Lydia) – After she and her household had been baptized

Acts 16:33 (of a Philippian Jailer) – “…then he and all his family were baptized at once.”

1 Corinthians 1:16 – I baptized the household of Stephanas also

There are no records of Christians in the early Church intentionally waiting until their children have attained the age of reason to baptize them.  It seems once the parents found Christ, the whole family received Him.  And if baptism is truly the person of the Holy Spirit coming to live within you, why wouldn’t you give that gift to your son or daughter from the first days of their lives?

That would be my answer.  There are plenty of resources you can check out for this.  Catholic Answers is a good place to start.

Posted in Ask Mary, Dating & Relationships, Stuff Catholics Do

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Time Does Not Heal All

Posted on December 15, 2011 by Mary| 4 Comments

 

 

Don’t know why; but I thought this quote was cool.  When I went to try to expand on it, I couldn’t come up with much else.  So maybe one of you lovely people out there needs to hear this today:

“A sum can be put right: but only by going back till you find the error and working it afresh from that point, never by simply going on.  Evil can be undone, but it cannot ‘develop’ into good.  Time does not heal it”

-CS Lewis

Time heals a lot… but when we make a mistake, we gotta own up.  As simple as math :)

 

 

 

Posted in You & God, Youthful Antics

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Divine Instruction Manual, Please?

Posted on December 13, 2011 by Mary| 1 Comment

I have received several questions from readers over the past few weeks asking about the Church’s stance on a number of issues, ranging from tattoos to women in the workplace.  While I could attempt to dedicate a post to each topic, I figured it would be more efficient to wrap them up, for the most part, with this:

If you’ve been in the world for longer than about 20 minutes, you have probably noticed that not every situation has a clear black or white answer.  Sometimes it may be that we are faced with making the choice simply between good and evil.  But more often than not, we find ourselves faced with a choice of good and not-as-good—and when that happens it is not always clear which is which.

The Church knows this.  Yes, there is objective truth.  Yes, there are things that are objectively and morally wrong.  For these issues, the Church has a yes or no answer, and you can typically find it in your Catechism.   But while the Catechism is amazing for learning about faith and morality, it is not meant to be an instruction manual for every question you come to in life.  This is why it is so important 1) to really know your faith and 2) to actually have a relationship with God.

If you know the teachings of the Church, you can apply the basic principles to your situation to help you discern which is the right or wrong answer.  It will usually come down to the two greatest commandments: Love God with all your heart, soul and mind; and love your neighbor as yourself.  Most importantly, if you have a relationship with God, you will be seeking to do His will, which of course cannot contradict the teachings of His Church.

So, to answer some specific questions: unless your tattoo is of an image that offends God (or if your getting a tattoo is disobeying your parents), then it is not sinful.  And yes, a woman can be a good mother and still go to work.  Nothing too counter-cultural here :)

Posted in Ask Mary, Stuff Catholics Do, You & God

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