I’ve never had particularly lofty career aspirations. I’ve basically always dreamed of being my mom—the stay-at-home wife and mother who takes care of the things around the house and seeks to be everything her children need her to be.
Sure, I’ve held jobs before. And if anyone asked what I was going to do once I finished my Master’s degree while I was still in school, I may have given the safe, “Oh, I’ll probably look for a teaching job” answer. After countless job searches and a few interviews, no doors really opened. Now with the little one on the way, it seems almost silly to me to look for employment.
All of this leaves me with my dream. Tyler and I are blessed enough in our situation that there is actually no dire need for me to bring in a second income. So I get to be there when he gets home from work. I get to manage things around our home, and I get to focus completely on getting Tyler and this little guy growing inside of me to Heaven. In short—I get to live my dream come true 🙂
But I’ll admit it. Old habits die hard. Even now, I still probably run a job search online at least every other day. It’s my response to the small voice in my head saying….Shouldn’t you be doing something with my degree? Shouldn’t you be using your free time to contribute to the family?
All of this roughly translates to: “If I’m not doing something that brings in a little cash, I’m doing something wrong.” I guess my sad conclusion here is that—for me at least— it’s a lot harder to trust that you’re exactly where God wants you to be without the consolation of some green paper.
Now don’t get me wrong here. Putting in an honest day’s work for a just wage can be a holy calling— a path to sanctification even. But for those of us who don’t get the green paper at the end of two weeks of clocking in and out, it can be a real struggle to feel like you’re actually doing something that matters.
So I cleaned the bathroom today. And tonight, like every other night, I’ll make Tyler his lunch to take in to work tomorrow. They’re not exactly extravagant or impressive career moves, and they’re certainly nothing to brag about on a resume, but they’re my path to sanctification. They’re what God has given me to please Him in this moment. And that makes them more than enough for me 🙂
“Look at the birds in the sky; they do not sow or reap, they gather nothing into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are not you more important than they? …Seek first the kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things shall be yours as well” (Matthew 6:26, 33)