Tag Archives: faith

On Patience and the Number 235

Posted on May 1, 2012 by Mary| 8 Comments

235 days until my fiancé and I “tie the knot.”

That’s 33 weeks and 4 days, or about 8 months— incase you were wondering (I have become really good at counting backwards since getting engaged).

Fun Fact: Patience is very difficult for me.

Shortly after my fiancé and I became engaged four months ago, people started asking me when the Big Day was going to be.  My reply has been met with varying reactions…

There was the, “Wow, that’s quick!” reaction.  There has also been the, “Oh, why are you waiting so long?” reaction.  And I’ve also had several of the, “Oh that’s a perfect amount of time to plan a wedding,” reactions.

To be perfectly honest though, my feelings (and those of my fiancé) often are much more in line with the second reaction.  It feels incredible to know and be planning for getting married, but at the same time, 8 months can feel like an awfully long time away from now.  We got engaged for a reason—we want to be married!  So what’s the deal with all the waiting??

While yes, it does take a lot of preparation, time, and of course a good chunk of money to plan a wedding, we didn’t necessarily choose a 1-year-engagement because we were trying to ensure the perfectly planned and executed party.  We chose a date that made sense for a number of reasons and we started planning.

In other words: the date is on the calendar; the church and reception sites are booked with actual money; thus, we are stuck with December 22nd.

Realizing that fact is actually very liberating (once I convince myself that whining won’t help the date come any sooner and reflect on the fact that God probably had us pick this date for a reason).  There is nothing I can do to make my wedding come sooner.  It’s not sad; it’s just the way it is.  Just like there may be nothing you can do right now to make summer break come any sooner.  Or just like there may be nothing you can do right now to know with absolute certainty what God is calling you to do next year.  As Christians, we just have to live in this moment with our eyes fixed on God; and trust that everything else will fall into place.

So as for me, all I can do is live within God’s love and trust in the fact that He intends to use every last one of these 235 days to prepare Tyler and me for the sacrament of marriage.  And I guess that is pretty neat. :)

Posted in Dating & Relationships, You & God

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Living in God’s Presence

Posted on April 24, 2012 by Mary| 2 Comments

As the aunt of nine nieces and nephews (with another niece and another nephew on the way, I might add), I find myself surrounded by little children a lot.  I also happen to be blessed by the example of each of their parents (AKA – my brothers and sisters) as they seek to raise their children in holiness.  I see a lot of teaching the little ones to pray before meals and before bed; of leading by example and showing them the importance of mass, or of the great gift we have to just sit in the physical presence of God in the Tabernacle or in Eucharistic Adoration.  I watch as my brothers and sisters share with my nieces and nephews the stories of the Patriarchs of the Old Testament and, of course, the story of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior.  And all of this, upon first glance, appears to be a sort of training for my nieces and nephews in the art of Christian living.  And in a very real and important sense, that is exactly what it is.

But something occurred to me last week as I watched my sister-in-law play with my niece in the backyard while they listened to the “Kids’ Christian Music Station” on the radio.

“This is my niece’s life,” I thought.  The Faith, to her, is not some lofty ideology, or a discipline studied in the classroom between the hours of 8am and 3pm.  It’s the air she breathes—24 hours a day, 7 days a week.  The idea that there could even be the possibility of a life lived outside of God’s presence is simply nonexistent to my niece.

This thought, taken with Jesus’ words in Matthew, “Unless you become like little children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven,”  got me thinking.  Yes, we are never supposed to stop growing in holiness.  Yes, there will always be more we can learn about God because God is infinite and we will never exhaust His mystery.  More importantly though, knowledge of God and of religion is just not the point.  My nieces and nephews aren’t taught about Jesus like they learn the Alphabet, because Jesus isn’t an idea; He’s a person.  The point isn’t to learn the lesson and then log it away for future reference.  The point is to meet a person, and to let that meeting transform you.

We don’t study our way into God’s presence. We are placed there.  Learning is supposed to be what happens in the middle of it.

Posted in You & God

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In Progress

Posted on February 9, 2012 by Mary| 5 Comments

So, remember a few weeks ago when I posted the 7 Steps to Being Young & Catholic?

Yeah, well just so you know, I’ve been doing terribly at them.  I could list my excuses here for you as to why I have not “been able” to make it to daily mass at least once a week apart from Sunday, or why I haven’t spent the time in silent prayer or the time in the chapel that I know I should, but they would just look pathetic.  As far as spiritual reading: if I wasn’t a student of Biblical Theology, then that would probably look pretty meager, too.

It’s not that I’m getting down on myself for just slacking off on some checklist, but at the same time, I’m totally getting down on myself for slacking off on some checklist.

Let me explain: No one is eager to wake up on January 1st to kick-off a six-month diet and workout regimen.  They may like the idea of it in their head; they may be eager for the results and know deep down that they’re craving discipline in their life, but by the middle of day two, all that person really wants is a brownie.

We’re human.  As good as our intentions may be, a plan helps keep us on track.

Similarly, I may like the idea of getting up every morning at 6:30 to go mass, and of spending my free time reading my Bible.  I may know deep down that is what will bring me truer joy than watching my Facebook newsfeed update, but a lot of times that doesn’t make it much easier to get into the spiritual shape I feel God is calling me to.

I know that faith isn’t supposed to just be some divine checklist—that it all comes down to falling in love with God, and that I just need to rely on Him and He will give me the grace of faith.  But sometimes I’m not super awesome at doing even that.

So it turns out I’m not the perfect poster-child for the Young & Catholic lifestyle.  Oh well.  Good thing I believe in a God who meets me where I am, and never tires of reminding me where I need to be.

Lent is coming up soon!  Let’s all get spiritually buff.

Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. 26 Well, I do not run aimlessly, I do not box as one beating the air; 27 but I pommel my body and subdue it, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified.

1 Corinthians 9:25-27

 

Posted in Stuff Catholics Do, You & God

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7 Steps to Being Young & Catholic

Posted on January 17, 2012 by Mary| 19 Comments

Ok, so I’ve gotten some questions from readers asking about the specifics of how exactly to do this—that is, how is one to go about being “young and Catholic” in the world today?

Below is a battle plan of sorts…

1.)  Regular Mass and Adoration

The non-denoms have it right when they say that relationship with Christ is what your faith has to be grounded on.  But you won’t get there if you don’t make it a point to schedule time with Him.  For this reason the Church makes it mandatory for all of us to go to mass every Sunday and on Holy Days of Obligation—but mass is offered every day of the week.  Sure, I have friends with whom I only check in for an hour or so a week, but the people closest to me in my life I talk to on a daily basis.  It’s true that we can pray to Christ whenever we want and wherever we are (and we should!).  It’s also true that you’ll never be more united with Christ than in those moments after you receive Him in the Most Blessed Sacrament.  How close of a relationship do you want?

Reality Check: Many of us young people can’t make it to mass on a daily basis (especially if we’re not at a Catholic school or do not have a particularly vibrant Catholic parish nearby).  To those I say first of all to still try.  If you have trouble getting up every morning at 6:30 to make it to 7:30am mass, make it a goal to go to daily mass one day out of the week.  Christ will honor your sacrifice of sleep.  :)  If you can’t make it to mass and receive Christ in the Eucharist, make a spiritual communion instead.  And find out the hours of your parish’s Blessed Sacrament (or Adoration) Chapel.  Make it a habit to spend at least an hour in there a week.

 

2.)  Regular Confession

We’re talking once every two weeks.  …Seriously?  Yes.  I know the typical rule of thumb nowadays is once a month, but I personally find myself needing to go more often than that.  And for me, it’s much easier to answer the question “Did I go last week” than, “Have I gone yet this month?”  Let’s face it: we all do little things that hurt our relationship with Christ on a daily basis.  What kind of friend would you be if you didn’t say, “I’m sorry”?  And besides, who couldn’t use more grace?

Reality Check: A lot of us are afraid of confession.  It’s not that we can’t do it every two weeks, it’s that we don’t want to.  But I promise you, after the first time you go to confession saying, “It has been two weeks since my last confession,” you will want to come back the next time being able to say the same thing.  Make it a habit and you won’t be sorry.  No one regrets having his or her sins forgiven.

 

3.)  Spiritual Reading

If you’re not reading the Bible, or something written by a saint, or a sound theologian of the Church, you’re going to find it difficult to grow in your faith.  Our love for God grows the more we know about Him.  Plus, reading will make that hour a week you’ve just committed to spend in the chapel go by that much quicker :)

Reality Check:  Where am I to find said books?  The Bible is a good place to start!  The word of God in the very words of God—can’t get much closer than that!  Other books I recommend: Introduction to the Devout Life (St. Francis De Sales), I Believe in Love, True Devotion to Mary, Confessions of Saint Augustine.  Send me an email if you want more suggestions.

 

4.)  Be honest.

If your friends don’t know that you’re Catholic, there’s a problem.  You don’t have to turn into the crazy religious kid who doesn’t talk about anything but church, but do let your friends (religious and non-religious) know that you’re Catholic.  Going to confession on Saturday?  Invite your Catholic friends.  Headed to Mass?  Invite all of your friends (but politely let the non-Catholics know beforehand that communion is only for Catholics living in a state of grace).  Speak up if someone bashes the Church, and maybe skip that frat party on Friday if you know that it will lead to you having to go to confession on Saturday.

Reality Check: It’s a little late for some of us.  We have friends who already know us as someone we no longer want to be.  Time for a heart-to-heart.  Lay it all out on the table.  Write a letter if you don’t think you’ll be able to say it all.  Look, I know I used to do this or I told you I’ve done that, but I’m trying to change.  I’m going to take my faith more seriously and as my friend I just wanted you to know what’s going on with me. But please: Don’t drop your friends for Jesus.  He wouldn’t do that, and it’s not a very good witness to faith if your friends think you dropped them because they’re “not holy enough”. Now, you may find that you can no longer take part in certain activities and as a result some friendships may naturally fade away, but make it a point to be upfront and honest so it’s not perceived as a personal attack.

 

5.)  No really, be honest.

You don’t have to pretend that you’re perfect now that you’ve decided to take your faith seriously.  In fact if you do, no one will take you seriously.  Your Facebook statuses do not all have to be about Jesus or taken from the Bible.  You’re allowed to have a social life outside of church.  You can listen to non-Christian music.  Most importantly, when you mess up, own up.  It’s human to struggle.

 

6.)  Find Catholic friends

Like I said, don’t ditch your non-Catholic friends (so long as they’re not leading you into sin).  But it’s important to have friends within the Church, too.  Why?  Because being a Catholic is difficult, and human beings are not able to survive without friends.  Sometimes you just need the friend next to you in the pew, or someone to call when you don’t understand the Church’s teaching on something.  They don’t need to have the right answer for you, but you need someone who understands the struggle, and who can encourage you in faith.

Reality Check:  That’s nice, but what if the only other Catholics in your town have gray hair?  Two suggestions: 1) Pray, pray, pray that God will send a friend your way.  And keep an open heart—be a friend to everyone.  He could be preparing your non-Catholic friend’s heart to receive His truth through your friendship.  2) Make friends with the old people!  They’re probably awesome and full of stories and great advice.

 

7.)  Do well in school (and/or at work).

Chances are good that God is not calling you to drop out of school and go off into the desert to pray.  It could happen, but it’s more likely that He is calling you to live your life for Him right where you are: in school, at work, at the gym, etc.  You really want to be a good witness of Christ?  You have to strive for excellence in all that you do.  Period.  In other words: Do your homework.  You may not be able to get straight A’s, but you better try your hardest.  Offer your hard work up to Christ as a prayer.  Jesus didn’t cut corners, so neither can we.

Reality Check: When asked, “Is it befitting a cardinal to ski?” Blessed JPII replied, “What is unbefitting a cardinal is to ski badly.”  :)  Seriously.  You cannot be a Christian and settle for mediocrity.

Bottom Line?  Do good, avoid evil.  Easier said than done, of course.  But be encouraged!  You are not alone in the struggle.

Posted in Ask Mary, Pop Culture, You & God, Young & Stupid

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Why I Love Jesus AND Religion

Posted on January 12, 2012 by Mary| 271 Comments

[Please, if you would, take a moment right now to pray for a special intention of mine today.  Thank you so much!]

This video was making the rounds on my Facebook news feed yesterday.  You may have seen it:

Now I was a fan of this guy’s last video.  And in this video, he does say some things that are right, and I get that his heart is in the right place.  Where I take issue is that he is not merely saying that Jesus is greater than Religion (which, by the way, I agree with).  He is saying that Jesus hates religion.  And while it may be tempting to play the, “yeah, I think religious people are lame, too” card in an attempt to get more people to hear our message, we need to be careful that our message does not fly in the face of the Gospel.  I don’t have time to cover everything misleading in the video here, but I will try to hit the main points.

What if I told you Jesus came to abolish religion?

…Then I’d say you probably haven’t read the New Testament very carefully.  Jesus is pretty clear in Matthew 5:17 when He says,

“Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the prophets.  I have come not to abolish but to fulfill.”

The Law, of course, being the Law of Moses, i.e. The Old Covenant, i.e. RELIGION.

In the Old Testament, God actually calls religious people whores

Yes, God called some religious people whores in the Old Testament—when they were being unfaithful to the Law (in other words: when they were disobeying the laws of their RELIGION—their religion given to them by God, by the way)

In the New Testament, Jesus refers to the scribes and Pharisees as hypocrites an awful lot, but remember the definition of a hypocrite: a person who acts in contradiction to his or her stated beliefs or feelings.  Jesus actually told the disciples that they should DO what the scribes and Pharisees tell them.

“…practice and observe whatever they tell you, but not what they do; for they preach, but do not practice” (Matthew 23:3).

“Whoever then relaxes one of the least of these commandments and teaches men so, shall be called least in the kingdom of heaven…For I tell you, unless your righteousness exceeds that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 5:19-20)

Doesn’t sound like Jesus hates religion to me.  In fact it sounds like He takes it pretty seriously.

When individuals use religion as a mask or for personal gain?  Yes, Jesus hates that.  But only because religion is not (and never was) meant to be a mask.  It’s meant to be an aid.

If I’m sick, knowing the doctor is definitely going to be important.  I’m going to need a relationship with him in order to let him know what is hurting me so that he can heal me.  But the fact of the matter is, if there’s no hospital, I’m not going to be able to find a doctor.  If I don’t go in for regular check-ups (even when I don’t feel like I’m sick), I’m not going to remain healthy.  If there’s no medicine when I am sick, my relationship with the doctor isn’t going to be enough to make me well again.  There’s a reason the doctor prescribes medicine, just like there is a reason God gave us the rules of religion.

Posted in Pop Culture, Stuff Catholics Do, You & God

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