Tag Archives: prayer

On My Guilty Conscience

So, I read this clever gem on Sunday night, and it painted a nice little visual for me during the offertory yesterday at mass.  I highly recommend a read, as it’s a nice start to Holy Week.

After mass, I sat in on a class about the New Evangelization.  Self-reflection set in.  A mini form of depression followed, with the horrifying revelation of, “wow, maybe I’m not as awesome at this as I thought.”

“This” being evangelization.  There seem to be many right ways to go about it, that is, to bring the good news to others.  However, there are many wrong ways of going about it as well.  And while it’s easy to pretend that you have all of the answers and do it all right when you’re writing a blog, it is of course another thing entirely to actually live it out in your daily life.  In other words: You know that feeling you get during a homily at mass when the priest says something and you feel like he’s speaking directly to you?  And you can’t be sure, but – oh my gosh – he’s definitely looking right at you.  Basically the entire [three hour] class session I felt like that.  A healthy serving of humble pie, just in time for Holy Week :)

Sincerity of heart.  Loving those with whom we speak.  Not debating just to win.  Not letting pride get in the way of the pursuit of the Truth.  Having the courage to admit you were wrong and to say you’re sorry.

Yep, lots of stuff to continue to pray for this Holy Week.

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In other news: I’m planning to write Thursday’s post about why you should participate in the Easter Triduum.  But incase you don’t see it in time, here’s a spoiler: You should definitely take part in the Triduum (mass on Holy Thursday evening, Good Friday service, and the Easter Vigil).  If nothing else, you should do everything you can to get to the Easter Vigil (especially if you’ve never been before).  Just trust me on this one.

5 Reasons Why YOUNG Catholics Should Pray a Daily Rosary

Let’s be honest.  The rosary isn’t the most popular prayer amongst our age group.  It’s the prayer that we sometimes got guilt-tripped into reciting on long car rides with the family, or guilt-tripped into reciting while at the Lenten prayer service, or guilt-tripped into reciting when…well, you get the picture.  For many of us, the rosary is pretty much just the result of a guilt trip.

However, despite what preconceived notions or feelings you may have towards the rosary, I submit to you that it should be a regular part of your daily life as a young Catholic.  Why?  Five main reasons:

1. In the fight against temptation and against Satan, a wimpy and sporadic prayer life simply will not do.

What does the prayer life of most people our age look like?  Most likely: whatever we feel like that day.  This is, quite simply, a recipe for disaster, and a fast-track to grave sin.

If you’re not accustomed to it, developing the habit of praying a daily rosary (or any consistent daily prayer) is difficult.  Because of this, we can easily come up with a thousand reasons why getting in a rosary every day is just not all that important.  The Catechism describes this battle of prayer:

2725 Prayer is both a gift of grace and a determined response on our part. It always presupposes effort. The great figures of prayer of the Old Covenant before Christ, as well as the Mother of God, the saints, and he himself, all teach us this: prayer is a battle. Against whom? Against ourselves and against the wiles of the tempter who does all he can to turn man away from prayer, away from union with God. We pray as we live, because we live as we pray. If we do not want to act habitually according to the Spirit of Christ, neither can we pray habitually in his name. The “spiritual battle” of the Christian’s new life is inseparable from the battle of prayer.

So, we turn to the one of the most powerful weapons in our arsenal: the rosary.

“The holy Rosary is a powerful weapon. Use it with confidence and you’ll be amazed at the results.” -Saint Josemaria Escriva

“No one can live continually in sin and continue to say the Rosary: either they will give up sin or they will give up the Rosary” -Bishop Hugh Doyle

2. Because “World Peace” isn’t just a go-to answer for beauty pageant contestants

Prayer may be described both as an internal struggle and as a spiritual battle, but as Christians, we are always faced with the task of bringing the peace of Christ to a confused and hurting world.  How are we even to begin to go about this?

Mary literally gave us the answer to this herself.  And then she made the sun dance.

If you’re not familiar with Mary’s apparitions at Fatima, she appeared several times to three children at the beginning of the twentieth century.  Her message:

Our Lady stressed the importance of praying the Rosary in each of Her apparitions, asking the children to pray the Rosary every day for peace. Another principal part of the Message of Fatima is devotion to Our Lady’s Immaculate Heart, which is terribly outraged and offended by the sins of humanity, and we are lovingly urged to console Her by making reparation. She showed Her Heart, surrounded by piercing thorns (which represented the sins against Her Immaculate Heart), to the children, who understood that their sacrifices could help to console Her.

Again and again, Mary has appealed to us in her apparitions to pray the rosary daily.  Why not do as she says?

3. Because Jesus listens to his mom

We see this in John’s account of the gospel, when Jesus transforms the water into wine after Mary tells him they had run out at the wedding (John 2:1-11).  In a similar way to the Old Testament, when the King listened to and respected the Queen Mother, so Jesus respects and listens to his Mother, Mary, Queen of Heaven.

“And the king said to her, ‘Make your request, my mother; for I will not refuse you” -1 Kings 2:20

Of course we can go straight to Jesus, but he has given us his Mother as well (John 19:27).  And as we know from the gospel, Jesus hastens to answer his Mother’s requests.

4. Miracles Happen

“Among all the devotions approved by the Church, none has been so favored by so many miracles as the devotion of the Most Holy Rosary.”  -Pope Pius IX

Books could be filled (and, in fact, have been filled) with stories of miraculous healings, conversions, and other events brought about by the regular recitation of the rosary.  There’s no reason to expect the rosary not to bring about some dramatic and powerful change in your life as well.

5. Because meditation helps us to “see for the first time”

The rosary is meant to be the “epitome of the entire Gospel”.  When we pray the rosary, we are engaging in the practice of mediation

CCC 2708: Meditation engages thought, imagination, emotion, and desire. This mobilization of faculties is necessary in order to deepen our convictions of faith, prompt the conversion of our heart, and strengthen our will to follow Christ. Christian prayer tries above all to meditate on the mysteries of Christ, as in lectio divina or the rosary. This form of prayerful reflection is of great value, but Christian prayer should go further: to the knowledge of the love of the Lord Jesus, to union with him.

Mediation is meant to lead us as a step along the way to true knowledge of the Lord, to personal union with Jesus.  As GK Chesterton said, “If you look at a thing 999 times, you are perfectly safe; if you look at it for the 1000th time, you are in danger of seeing it for the first time.”  This is what we attempt to do in mediation – to see for the first time.  We meditate on the stories of the Gospel as we pray with Mary to help us see Jesus for the first time, to fall in love with Him by meditating upon his life.

So get the beads out and start praying!  You won’t regret it :)

Everyone Worships Something

As you may have noticed, a lot of people dismiss faith in, and ritual worship of, any sort of deity as something for the simple-minded.  A common mindset holds that the truly educated and evolved “liberate” themselves from the shackles of religious devotion and place their trust in things more concrete and absolute (i.e. material), OR, more likely, these people reason that nothing is absolute, and so they resolve to have faith in the one thing they know is certain: that nothing is certain (it’s supposed to be ironic and deep, I guess).

But truthfully, when it comes right down to it:

Everyone.  Worships.  Something.

There’s no escaping this fact.  Even self-professed atheists make gods of something (if not many things) in their lives.  And it’s almost inevitable that a sort of religious system or habit develops around whatever it is that we make a “god” within the structure of our life.  Whether it’s our physical fitness, our job, a relationship (or the idea of a relationship), or anything else that we become devoted to throughout life.  It’s human nature.  We like structure, and our structure tends towards what it is that we value most.

Of course, it’s not just people without a professed religion or faith who make “gods” of things other than the God of the Bible.  Certainly even us Christians can be guilty this.  What’s the first thing on our mind when we wake up in the morning and the last thing we think of before falling asleep?  To what (or Whom) does our heart truly belong?  These things are what we worship, despite what it may say on our Facebook profile.

The bottom line is that it’s an inescapable part of our nature: this yearning for something beyond ourselves, a yearning—ultimately— for the divine.  This is why it’s so tragic when we, as human beings—not simply as Christians, settle for worship of lesser goods, especially in the name of “liberation”.

“Any liberation of man which does not enable him to become divine betrays man, betrays his boundless yearning.” –Pope Benedict XVI*

We’re created for something beyond ourselves.  We’re created for the divine. Don’t settle for anything less.

(*no, this does not mean we’ll all become gods who are worshiped as God the Father, but that we will become sharers in the divinity of Christ: the “Son of God [who] became man so that the sons of men could become sons of God – Saint Athanasius)

Ask Mary: Speed Dating Edition

Oh wait…is speed dating not what you mean by “dating fast”?  :)

Question:

Hi Mary!

I was wondering if you could address dating fasts to grow in your
relationship with God and prepare for future relationships. I have a
few friends who are on them and recently God has put it on my heart to
go one, but there are not many resources out there that talk about
dating fasts. (when I googled it, it brought me to online dating
websites- not helpful lol).
Thanks, and I love your blog!

Answer: 

Thank you for this question!  It’s a good one, and I think it’s very relevant to a lot of young Catholics today.

To be completely honest, this whole idea of a “dating fast” has always sort of rubbed me the wrong way.  It could be that I don’t fully grasp the reason for these “fasts”—but then again, that may be precisely why this trend in dating (er—I mean, not dating) amongst young Catholics bothers me so much: I’m not sure that the majority of people embarking on these “fasts” fully understand what or why they are doing what they are doing in the first place.  Usually, the terms are not clearly defined.  What exactly is meant by, “dating” here?  And at what point are you “breaking the fast”?

To be clear, there is nothing wrong with not dating.  God most certainly wants to draw us to Himself, and often times dating makes it hard for us to let Him do that.  And if what you’re trying to avoid by beginning a “dating fast” is dating for sport, dating simply to pass the time, or dating to make yourself feel better about yourself, then absolutely.  God is calling all of us to be rid of that sort of dating—forever.

But often times, I don’t think a “dating fast” gets to the real heart of the problem.

Dating is not the same thing as eating, and I’m positive it shouldn’t be treated as such.  I find it somewhat odd to place spending time getting to know a fellow human being on the same level as eating a Double-Double at In-n-Out.  And I think that perhaps placing the two on the same level is what has led so many young people to feel they need to “fast” from dating in the first place.

Unfortunately, what most of us didn’t realize until it was too late is that dating is not supposed to be a given (whereas eating, is).  The purpose of dating is supposed to be marriage (as we learned after the first two or three breakups).  So it would make the most sense if you didn’t date at all until you were at least somewhat close to being ready to get married.  In actuality, most of us started dating in high school—or before!  You can see how, with this background, dating became exactly what we don’t want it to be: a game, something to pass the time, or simply something to make us feel better about ourselves.  So now we feel the need to “fast” from what, like that Double-Double (as good as it may have been), has failed to lead us to lasting happiness.

However, unlike that Double-Double, dating does have the potential to lead many of us to happiness, because dating often leads to our vocation! (for those of us called to marriage, of course)  Denying yourself the passing pleasure of a meal is an act of piety that can strengthen your prayer and devotion to God.  Denying yourself true happiness (i.e. your vocation)?  That’s not piety; it’s insanity.

So how do we solve the problem?  I think the answer is that we return to viewing dating how we should have from the beginning.  For many of us, that may mean we have to break bad habits, and thus some sort of a “break” (or “fast”) from dating may be in order, so that God can teach us how to do date as He intends for us to date (if He intends for us to date).

What we want to be careful we do not do is to treat dating as if it is something that unequivocally leads us away from God.  It’s true that it can do this if we are not using it for its rightful purpose, or if in our dating relationships we are acting contrary to God’s law—but this is not always the case.  In fact, if carried out to its rightful end, dating is meant to lead us ultimately to God, through the vocation of marriage.

That being said, in marriage, God calls us to a specific person—not the abstract idea of the vocation of marriage.  So if you haven’t met anyone yet, then of course you’re still discerning, and should use this time to grow closer to God.  I just personally do not feel that declaring an all-out fast is necessary when it comes to dating.  My thoughts: date when and who you feel God is calling you to date, and not a moment before, and you’ll be fine.  No “Catholic guilt” for having a good time at dinner with a good guy who treats you right just because you said you were “fasting” from dating.

That’s my two cents, anyway.  I’m sure there are many reasons to disagree.  Feel free to [charitably] leave them in the comment box.

Now, fasting from meals as an act of prayer every so often as a way to discern/prepare for your vocation?  I think that is a great idea! :)

Ask Mary: Discernment (And other stuff…)

Happy Fat Tuesday!

Couple things:

First, if you haven’t read the “Diving Into Lent” post from Thursday, go ahead and check that out now.  (And remember: contrary to popular belief, binging today will not make the sacrifices you begin tomorrow any easier.  In fact, the reverse is probably true.  Just something to keep in mind :) )

Also, big thanks to Tara over at Impacting Culture for awarding Young And Catholic with the Versatile Blogger award!  To pay it forward, I’m supposed to come up with 15 links to other blogs I’d like to nominate—but I don’t have a list that long quite yet.  So just check out Impacting Culture for now!

Finally, a great question from a reader on discernment.  (And I’m linking to an even better answer from Peter Kreeft)

Question:

Hi Mary!
Lately, I have been struggling to understand what God expects of me. I have been praying a lot,and I know I need to be patient. However, the matter of discerning really confuses me. I am somewhat of an analytical person, so I tend to question every decision and thought.  This may not make sense, but I honestly struggle daily with separating what God is telling me from other thoughts. I feel hopeless and as if I will never understand exactly what he wants from me. Being in this struggle makes me feel as if I am disappointing God. I really just want to be at peace and know that I am serving him the way He has planned. I know that discernment is a personal relationship with myself and God, and that there is no magic formula, but I guess I am just asking for some advice.

Answer:

As a fellow analytical person, this question makes total sense to me.  I know God should be in control of everything (and I want Him to be!)—but at what point can my free will step in and make the decision already?  By far the best answer I have heard on this struggle you describe comes from Peter Kreeft:

Does God have one right choice for me in each decision I make?

When we pray for wisdom to discern God’s will when it comes to choosing a mate, a career, a job change, a move, a home, a school, a friend, a vacation, how to spend money, or any other choice, big or little, whenever there are two or more different paths opening up before us and we have to choose, does God always will one of those paths for us? If so, how do we discern it?

Many Christians who struggle with this question today are unaware that Christians of the past can help them from their own experience. Christian wisdom embodied in the lives and teachings of the saints tells us two things that are relevant to this question.

First, they tell us that God not only knows and loves us in general but that he cares about every detail of our lives, and we are to seek to walk in his will in all things, big and little. Second, they tell us that he has given us free will and reason because he wants us to use it to make decisions. This tradition is exemplified in Saint Augustine’s famous motto “Love God and [then] do what you will.” In other words, if you truly love God and his will, then doing what you will, will, in fact, be doing what God wills.

Do these two pieces of advice pull us in opposite directions, or do they only seem to? Since there is obviously a great truth embodied in both of them, which do we emphasize the most to resolve our question of whether God has one right way for us?

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